# What would you do? (Teenage sex question) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028 "2011-01-18T01:21:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/181 "2011-01-18T15:46:24Z")
> [@Bridget\_Burke](#): > > He’s not on a rocket bound for the moons of Jupiter. Just wait for the _next_ thread **BB**.. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/182 "2011-01-18T15:53:35Z")
> [@Waxwinged](#): > > Maybe I’m coming from an idealistic perspective here, but wouldn’t it be decent of **ZPG** as a human being to have a sit-down with the girl’s parents? > > Heck, I’d want to know if my daughter’s been sexually active with someone, and that she’s doing so safely. But they’re white. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/183 "2011-01-18T16:09:51Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > I have no interest in downgrading Roma culture - I’m sure there are many Roma people who are perfectly lovely people. I’m just trying to point out that you’re potentially making things worse by dragging race or religion into it. You’ve said before that people usually identify you by sight as a white person. If that is also the case for your nephew, don’t you think it’s possible that the girl and her parents and other people involved don’t even know he’s Roma? In that case the race thing is only an issue if you choose to make it an issue. The kid has darker skin and usually is mistaken for Mexican-American, so race is a issue. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/184 "2011-01-18T16:15:02Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > There’s nothing the girl could say that could negate this, except to allege that the act was forcible, which you have already agreed is not a concern. No, I haven’t agreed that this is not a concern. Forcible rape accusations happen and financial dependent teenagers who might be afraid if their parents find out they are having sex are more likely to do so than independent 20 somethings who don’t live at home. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/185 "2011-01-18T16:18:06Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > The kid has darker skin and usually is mistaken for Mexican-American, so race is a issue. I presume that at some point she figured out he wasn’t mexican. So the parents would know he is not mexican. So even if they are all anti-mexican it wouldn’t apply here cause he’s not. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/186 "2011-01-18T16:19:27Z")
> [@Bridget\_Burke](#): > > I’m having a hard time connecting this strong believer in her Ancient Roma Traditions with the divorcing, aborting advocate of zero population growth we’ve previously met… > > If there is any germ of truth in this story, why hasn’t the OP contacted the father of her unfortunate nephew? Offshore workers can be contacted by phone & email. They also stay offshore for weeks at a time–for which they are well paid–& then return home for a couple of weeks. He’s not on a rocket bound for the moons of Jupiter. The father thinks boys will be boys and let the kid sow his wild oats. If the girl gets pregnant, who cares (oh, and it’s definitely not going to be a responsibility for his side of the family if she does). ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/187 "2011-01-18T16:21:16Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I presume that at some point she figured out he wasn’t mexican. So the parents would know he is not mexican. So even if they are all anti-mexican it wouldn’t apply here cause he’s not. I imagine if their anti-mexican, they anti-other things and I am thinking in terms of what he would look like to a largely white legal system, not to mention potential jurors. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/188 "2011-01-18T16:23:04Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > The kid has darker skin and usually is mistaken for Mexican-American, so race is a issue. Do you live in Vidor? In _my_ Texas city, our police force has a large number of African-American & Hispanic officers. Plus a scattering of Vietnamese & others, reflecting the population of this diverse city. Many years ago, the HPD & the KKK had serious links; but that’s long past. Not to say that there’s no prejudice in the city–but I’ve never heard any anti-Roma hate speech. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/189 "2011-01-18T16:23:34Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > No, I haven’t agreed that this is not a concern. Forcible rape accusations happen and financial dependent teenagers who might be afraid if their parents find out they are having sex are more likely to do so than independent 20 somethings who don’t live at home. It is a remote possibility. The non paranoid would be thinking" he better not get her pregnant". Someone who is paranoid with severe sexual hangups would think" what if she accuses him of rape!" ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/190 "2011-01-18T16:27:35Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I imagine if their anti-mexican, they anti-other things and I am thinking in terms of what he would look like to a largely white legal system, not to mention potential jurors. I was unaware of a big anti eastern european white guy prejudice in this country. I’m sure if you try hard enough you can convince them the should be. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/191 "2011-01-18T16:47:56Z")
For a brief moment, I am going to pretend that all that ZPG is saying is the truth and that she is interested in opinions. The first thing I would do if I were concerned about my ward’s sexual relationship and what it might mean from the other parents’ side of the fence would be to talk to the parents. As a parent, I would want to know my daughter was sexually involved (which they probably aready do). Also, you will get a feel for whether they are even remotely the type who would press charges for such (I know you are in Texas but I still doubt it). ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/192 "2011-01-18T17:51:55Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > She claims to be Roma. Therefore, the rest of us are subhuman animals. I don’t think that’s her tack, really. I think what she’s actually trying to convey is that, as a “person of color,”\* her nephew is vulnerable to the sort of Jim Crow-era attitudes that caused so much trouble for Emmett Till. I’ll concede that she’s not very coherent about it (and further, that she seems to be happy to allow people to make their own inferences, rather than state things outright. I note that several invitations to her to reveal the state she lives in went unanswered, until **Jragon** posted a cite of her saying she lived in Texas, at which point she became quite willing to discuss the habits of the Texas justice system). Anyway, if she’s worried that the Texas justice system would have a harder time dealing with her dark-skinned nephew fucking a white girl than with a strapping blond sixteen-year old boy fucking the same white girl, I don’t see how encouraging her nephew to be the initial reporter is supposed to make him any safer. Probably wouldn’t have done Emmett Till any good to have complained preemptively about that white girl flirting with him. \*quite possibly stretching the term to it’s breaking point, but I won’t speculate further ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/193 "2011-01-18T18:01:45Z")
Emmett Till might as well have been on a whole 'nuther planet. I don’t think the two cases can be compared. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/194 "2011-01-18T18:07:10Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > The father thinks boys will be boys and let the kid sow his wild oats. If the girl gets pregnant, who cares (oh, and it’s definitely not going to be a responsibility for his side of the family if she does). Yes, of course. Ignore the fathers wishes because he’s on the other side of the family. Really helps your case. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/195 "2011-01-18T18:13:10Z")
> [@Waxwinged](#): > > Maybe I’m coming from an idealistic perspective here, but wouldn’t it be decent of **ZPG** as a human being to have a sit-down with the girl’s parents? > > Heck, I’d want to know if my daughter’s been sexually active with someone, and that she’s doing so safely. I don’t know if I can trust her parents. When I talk to them I want legal witnesses. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/196 "2011-01-18T18:14:53Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I note that several invitations to her to reveal the state she lives in went unanswered, until **Jragon** posted a cite of her saying she lived in Texas, at which point she became quite willing to discuss the habits of the Texas justice system). No that was mostly slow internet. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/197 "2011-01-18T18:22:49Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Yes, of course. Ignore the fathers wishes because he’s on the other side of the family. Really helps your case. The hypocrisy it burns! The kid’s father doesn’t give a damn and considers how many women he can nail a competitive sport. His father would say, “Screw the condoms, they just cut down on the feeling.” I’m sending Nephew X to talk with a family friend he likes about how there are different cultures in the world and how this girl comes from one where things like false accusations of rape and being sued for child support for a child conceived outside of marriage do occur and that being 16 will not save him from adult problems. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/198 "2011-01-18T18:23:35Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > No that was mostly slow internet. Can you explain how a “slow internet” kept you from posting what state you live in while letting you make numerous posts on other issues? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/199 "2011-01-18T18:24:24Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I’m sending Nephew X to talk with a family friend he likes about how there are different cultures in the world and how this girl comes from one where things like false accusations of rape and being sued for child support for a child conceived outside of marriage do occur and that being 16 will not save him from adult problems. So. Let me get this straight. You’re wondering if you should falsely accuse a girl of rape so she won’t accuse your nephew of rape. And you’re sending your nephew to someone who will tell him how _other_ cultures are hotbeds of false rape accusations. Ooookay. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/200 "2011-01-18T18:42:14Z")
ZPG Zealot: What I would do, ZPG, is have a talk with them about birth control. Then I would mind my own business. Damnation, and I thought my parents were bad. This country is going to the fucking dogs, and I’m beginning to think they would do a better job of running it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028.md?page=11)