# What would you do? (Teenage sex question) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028 "2011-01-18T01:21:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/101 "2011-01-18T03:51:22Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > You made it the issue. When? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/102 "2011-01-18T03:51:36Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Better that than my nephew find himself in situations like this. > > [Metroactive Features | Teen Sex and Statutory Rape](http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/12.18.97/cover/teensex-9751.html) Please provide statistics as to the number of cases of this kind being prosecuted in your jurisdiction in comparison to the number of teenaged couples engaging in consensual sexual relationships. Just because it’s happened in some cases to some people somewhere doesn’t mean that the cops are waiting to bust down your door to arrest your nephew. Who, by the way, IS a rapist. According to the law. And to you. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/103 "2011-01-18T03:52:24Z")
From a legal standpoint, the OP needs to be aware of two things. One, you can’t file criminal charges - that’s the District Attorney’s job. All you can do is go to the police and report the occurence of what you believe is a crime. Two - and this is the important part - the police will respond by investigating the alleged crime. They will not go out and arrest whoever you ask them to. That means they will talk to your nephew, talk to you, talk to the girl, and talk to her family. Then they will submit this information to the DA and whoever else is relevant. So if you accuse the girl of “raping” your nephew, the final result might be the DA deciding that your nephew is the responsible party here and charging him with rape instead. Or maybe Social Services will take your nephew out of your custody and place him in a foster home. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/104 "2011-01-18T03:52:49Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Please provide statistics as to the number of cases of this kind being prosecuted in your jurisdiction in comparison to the number of teenaged couples engaging in consensual sexual relationships. > > Just because it’s happened in some cases to some people somewhere doesn’t mean that the cops are waiting to bust down your door to arrest your nephew. > > Who, by the way, IS a rapist. According to the law. And to you. She doesn’t even have to provide statistics about that, the article she quotes isn’t even remotely close to the situation she is describing. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/105 "2011-01-18T03:53:01Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > When? > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > …and that creates a lot of legal problems \*\*especially when the girl is WASP and the boy isn’t. \*\* Bolding mine. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/106 "2011-01-18T03:53:05Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > You can’t see the difference between someone who might possibly not understand the laws regarding sexual behavior in her state (a relatively decent guess, given her insanity regarding sex in general), and whether she knows if she has a nephew or not? > > Oh. Kay. Gee, California? Who knew? Oh, wait, ZPG did! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/107 "2011-01-18T03:53:47Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Totally different situation. In that article, the individuals are 17 and 22, respectively. You have a situation with two 16 year olds. Try again. It’s also from 1997. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/108 "2011-01-18T03:55:12Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > It’s also from 1997. Give her a break, it was all she could find to support her psychotic paranoia. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/109 "2011-01-18T03:55:31Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Gee, California? Who knew? Oh, wait, ZPG did! > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I live in the the red state south. Last I checked, California wasn’t the red state south. Do try to keep up. You might need to get that coffee. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/110 "2011-01-18T04:00:11Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > SO IS YOUR NEPHEW, WHICH MAKES HIM A RAPIST. > > What’s the difference between your nephew and his consensual sexual partner, then? There is no difference. In an ideal world sixteen year olds could fuck to their hearts content as long as they use adequate birth control. But we don’t live in that ideal world. We live in a world where laws have been passed that say sixteen year old cannot legally consent to fucking. We live in a world where people who fuck consenting sixteen year olds can get arrested. We live in a world where white legal authorities get very concerned about white, sixteen year old girls fucking even if they have consented to said fucking and where if the indiividuals who have fucked said consenting white, sixteen year old girl happen to be black, brown, or of any other ethnicity than the white sixteen year old girl, white legal authorities get even more concerned and vindicative. Seriously where to you live Kolga, Fantasy Island? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/111 "2011-01-18T04:01:30Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Last I checked, California wasn’t the red state south. You believe her? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/112 "2011-01-18T04:04:04Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Seriously where to you live Kolga, Fantasy Island? Nope, just the real world, where the thought of having a 16-year-old girl labeled as a sex offender because she happened to have the bad luck of choosing your nephew to have consensual sex with is a disgusting, immoral, repugnant, morally bankrupt, and clinically insane thought process. Notice all the comments about the so-called “instance” you posted? The one that was in California? In 1997? That didn’t match what you are claiming? That should tell you that you need more data in order to bring your paranoia out of the realm of mental illness and into the realm of “this might possibly happen if the stars align right and the moon is in the seventh house.” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/113 "2011-01-18T04:04:06Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > You believe her? At this point, I’m going with the theory that all **ZPG Zealot** ’s ramblings aren’t based on facts but rather the daydreams of an autistic child… ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/114 "2011-01-18T04:04:35Z")
Jeez Louise. Some of you folks sure are awfully mad about … something that doesn’t amount to one iota in your world. 😕 To the OP: I’ve got four kids, and they were all four teenagers at once. What I’d do would be to talk with the nephew (and the other kids) and the girl too if possible. Try to suss out just how serious they are, and get a good idea of how sensible they are being with their sexual activity. I don’t think it’s necessary to notify the authorities; it’s been my experience that involving them sometimes can backfire on you. I’d do a lot of data gathering and reassess the situation before I did that. You can’t unring that bell once you’ve done it. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/115 "2011-01-18T04:05:21Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > You believe her? Dude, YOU’RE the one that posted about California after SHE posted a non-relevant link to something in that state. I don’t believe that she lives on this planet frankly. But I’m going to follow her statements until she posts something contradictory. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/116 "2011-01-18T04:05:41Z")
**ZPG** , if you bring this to the police, IMO the most likely result is that nothing will happen. If an investigation does occur, I don’t see how that would help your nephew from being charged. The sex was consensual, so techically they both raped each other. If this goes to the pit, the rape quotient will reach critical mass and spawn an avatar of rape. I don’t want to be around to see that. Back on topic, **ZPG** , have you talked to your son about this? Do the girl’s parents know? If so, have you talked to them? What do they have to say about it? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/117 "2011-01-18T04:09:21Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Jeez Louise. Some of you folks sure are awfully mad about … something that doesn’t amount to one iota in your world. 😕 You’re new around here, aren’t you? 😉 > [@NinetyWt](#): > > To the OP: > I’ve got four kids, and they were all four teenagers at once. What I’d do would be to talk with the nephew (and the other kids) and the girl too if possible. Try to suss out just how serious they are, and get a good idea of how sensible they are being with their sexual activity. I don’t think it’s necessary to notify the authorities; it’s been my experience that involving them sometimes can backfire on you. I’d do a lot of data gathering and reassess the situation before I did that. You can’t unring that bell once you’ve done it. > > Good luck. In a sane world, this would be good advice. In **ZPG’s** world, it’s irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/118 "2011-01-18T04:13:10Z")
Fiction. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/119 "2011-01-18T04:13:36Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > From a legal standpoint, the OP needs to be aware of two things. One, you can’t file criminal charges - that’s the District Attorney’s job. All you can do is go to the police and report the occurence of what you believe is a crime. > > Two - and this is the important part - the police will respond by investigating the alleged crime. They will not go out and arrest whoever you ask them to. That means they will talk to your nephew, talk to you, talk to the girl, and talk to her family. Then they will submit this information to the DA and whoever else is relevant. > > So if you accuse the girl of “raping” your nephew, the final result might be the DA deciding that your nephew is the responsible party here and charging him with rape instead. Or maybe Social Services will take your nephew out of your custody and place him in a foster home. Can you people even read? Or more likely you simply perfer to ignore reality and invent your own paradigm of what is happening based on your prejudices. Neither me or my attorney has said anything about accusing the girl of forcibly raping my nephew. Forcible Rape has never been an issue. Two underaged teenagers are having sex. This is a crime in the state we live in. If the police find out about this, it can be a problem. My lawyer has said whoever talks to the police about the matter first stands the best chance with them and prosecutors’ office. What would happen is I would call up my favorite detective and say, Nephew X is underaged, but I believe he had sex, from that point there is an official paper trail that shows I am aware of what is going on and taking appropriate responsible steps. If anything it is the most likely route for legal authorities to decide this isn’t a matter worth dragging into court. Unlike what could happen if a teacher, family friend, minister, etc. reports that an underage teenage girl is having sex or the girl’s irrate parents show up demanding something be done because their daughter is underaged and having sex. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/120 "2011-01-18T04:14:37Z")
On the off chance that this nut case has a 16 year old nephew and he is reading this thread: **RUN!!!** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028.md?page=7)