# What would you do? (Teenage sex question) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028 "2011-01-18T01:21:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/141 "2011-01-18T04:53:22Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Sounds like the kid is doing some serious dating. So isn’t he already outside of your culture? Was he raised in America? If so he probably doesn’t see this stuff remotely the same way. If he is dating people of other backgrounds it sounds like he doesn’t value the culture in the extreme way you do - he might not even particularly identify with it. In that case you are the only one who is making the mountain out of a molehill in dragging race/religion into this. You’re only making things worse. > > On way to make it better. Just encourage him to marry the girl. > > Then he’s no longer Roma, and presumably no longer your problem, since you don’t deal with people outside your own culture. Wash your hands of the whole deal! Bonus - kid gets to escape your house. It’s win-win! Hey, that’s a great idea! Sucks for the girl, of course, but after all, she’s a statutory rapist whore, so who cares? ---
**Author:** ![Andrew\_Trezise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Andrew\_Trezise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andrew_Trezise)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/142 "2011-01-18T04:53:29Z")
I’d be keeping Nephew away from disseminating material on cell phones and warn him severely about putting intimate things on facebook. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/143 "2011-01-18T04:53:34Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > followed by me confiscating Nephew X’s cell phone … The phone’s been destroyed out of fear of possible porn charges. I think every one has missed the possible [6](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,488044,00.html) [00](http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/news/2010/07/sexting-and-child-porn-are-they-any-different.ars)Lb. [Gorilla](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28679588/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/) [sitting](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,434645,00.html) in the corner. Taking a sledgehammer to his phone did not erase what is sitting on the server at the cell company or what is on her phone. :smack: My suggestion is make nice with her parents. They might not be as small minded as you think. If they are, well then your nephew is fucked. Even more so that you have made him. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/144 "2011-01-18T04:54:01Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > So the real problem is that you want him paranoid like you. Because anytime he has sex he might get accused of rape just because. Because anyone who can read english can see he can’t be charged with satutory rape because of their ages. The Texas law does not allow it. Regardless of ethnic background. :rolleyes: Texas laws can very maleable. If the girl claims rape at any point this can get bad. If her family has influence with the local courts it can be bad. Those fricking photos can be bad. Seriously Loach, do you have any idea how concerned middle-age, white guys can be about the sex lives of white, teenage girls. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/145 "2011-01-18T04:54:49Z")
[Moderator Note]This is _not_ The BBQ Pit. The name calling and insults will stop right now.[/Moderator Note] ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/146 "2011-01-18T04:55:26Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > do you have any idea how concerned middle-age, white guys can be about the sex lives of white, teenage girls. removed ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/147 "2011-01-18T04:57:09Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Well, it’s not, really, but I would assume (and admit that I could very well be wrong) that if **ZPG** has been this boy’s caregiver, he’s already got some weird and not-normal ideas about sex. If the girl has relatively normal ideas about sex, then her thought process in starting the consensual relationship was probably “Yay! Sex!” and not “I need to protect myself from this boy’s completely unstable and vindictive lunatic aunt.” Ok, I do feel sorry for the girl too, but she has a chance. Any consequences will be equally shared by the boy, and he is worse off than if he was alone. If this was real, which I can’t believe it is. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/148 "2011-01-18T05:00:43Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Texas laws can very maleable. If the girl claims rape at any point this can get bad. If her family has influence with the local courts it can be bad. Those fricking photos can be bad. Seriously Loach, do you have any idea how concerned middle-age, white guys can be about the sex lives of white, teenage girls. If the girl claims rape? I guess that is a very remote possibility whenever any of us people have sex with each other. But if you live life running scared of those remote possibilities it is called paranoia. I’m a cop and yes I’ve lived in Texas. Maleable is not how I would describe Texas. Black and white is closer. BTW what the fuck does white have to do with it? Sounds like you are a racist. I think you will find that white guys are about as concerned for their daughters as everyone else is. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/149 "2011-01-18T05:04:58Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Wait - in another thread you said there was no such thing as dating for Roma: > > Sounds like the kid is doing some serious dating. So isn’t he already outside of your culture? Was he raised in America? If so he probably doesn’t see this stuff remotely the same way. If he is dating people of other backgrounds it sounds like he doesn’t value the culture in the extreme way you do - he might not even particularly identify with it. In that case you are the only one who is making the mountain out of a molehill in dragging race/religion into this. You’re only making things worse. > > On way to make it better. Just encourage him to marry the girl. > > Then he’s no longer Roma, and presumably no longer your problem, since you don’t deal with people outside your own culture. Wash your hands of the whole deal! Bonus - kid gets to escape your house. It’s win-win! Shit like this is why Roma don’t date. I think everyone acknowledges that because kids experiment with things outside of their culture doesn’t mean they plan to abandon it. For some reason you’re fixated on downgrading Roma culture which only serves to prove my point about prejudice. The only reason for mentioning race/religion in this was because these are issues in courts in South and anyone who doesn’t understand that is really blind. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/150 "2011-01-18T05:05:39Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > BTW what the fuck does white have to do with it? Sounds like you are a racist. I think you will find that white guys are about as concerned for their daughters as everyone else is. She claims to be Roma. Therefore, the rest of us are subhuman animals. The girl’s parents will naturally persecute her nephew because of his ethnicity. > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Shit like this is why Roma don’t date. I think everyone acknowledges that because kids experiment with things outside of their culture doesn’t mean they plan to abandon it. For some reason you’re fixated on downgrading Roma culture which only serves to prove my point about prejudice. The only reason for mentioning race/religion in this was because these are issues in courts in South and anyone who doesn’t understand that is really blind. You’re the one who said that Roma don’t date and that all of their interactions are for the purposes of marriage. And do you realize that there are other people, some of them on this board, some of them RIGHT HERE IN THIS THREAD, that have either lived in the south, live in the south now, or were raised in the south? You’re not the only one who’s ever lived there. And we’re not fixated on the Roma issue - YOU are the one who brings it up every chance you get. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/151 "2011-01-18T05:07:56Z")
Strictly my opinion based on life experience and by observing middle-aged white guys in their native environment: being accused of forcible rape by your girlfriend for no reason is so unlikely to happen there is no need for concern. MAking a preemptive strike and accusing someones daughter of statutory rape may cause a reaction you won’t like. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/152 "2011-01-18T05:08:17Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > If the girl claims rape? I guess that is a very remote possibility whenever any of us people have sex with each other. But if you live life running scared of those remote possibilities it is called paranoia. > > I’m a cop and yes I’ve lived in Texas. Maleable is not how I would describe Texas. Black and white is closer. > > BTW what the fuck does white have to do with it? Sounds like you are a racist. I think you will find that white guys are about as concerned for their daughters as everyone else is. If you’re a cop and you’ve lived in Texas you should understand the significance of how it can be more difficult because of prejudice when young men outside of WASP culture are sexually involved with women who are WASP. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/153 "2011-01-18T05:08:58Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Texas laws can very maleable. If the girl claims rape at any point this can get bad. If her family has influence with the local courts it can be bad. Those fricking photos can be bad. Seriously Loach, do you have any idea how concerned middle-age, white guys can be about the sex lives of white, teenage girls. In hypothetical land if the girl’s parents have influence with the local courts and through some impossible series of events your child is convicted of statutory rape couldn’t you appeal the conviction with a circuit court? I find it difficult to believe that you won’t find somebody who actually reads the words on the law page somewhere up the chain. It’d be a PITA, and probably a financial nightmare, but it’s not like he’s fucked three ways to Sunday if Daddy pays off the local judge and jury. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/154 "2011-01-18T05:11:51Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > For some reason you’re fixated on downgrading Roma culture which only serves to prove my point about prejudice. The only reason for mentioning race/religion in this was because these are issues in courts in South and anyone who doesn’t understand that is really blind. I have no interest in downgrading Roma culture - I’m sure there are many Roma people who are perfectly lovely people. I’m just trying to point out that you’re potentially making things worse by dragging race or religion into it. You’ve said before that people usually identify you by sight as a white person. If that is also the case for your nephew, don’t you think it’s possible that the girl and her parents and other people involved don’t even know he’s Roma? In that case the race thing is only an issue if you choose to make it an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/155 "2011-01-18T05:12:33Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > If you’re a cop and you’ve lived in Texas you should understand the significance of how it can be more difficult because of prejudice when young men outside of WASP culture are sexually involved with women who are WASP. Ethnicity can not change what is clearly written in the law. They are the same age. Unless you think there is some reason why his GIRLFRIEND is going to suddenly say she was raped I don’t understand the paranoia. Except for the fact that she is white and obviously evil because of the sex. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/156 "2011-01-18T05:15:01Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Except for the fact that she is white and obviously evil because of the sex. I think it’s this, frankly. Women who shake hands are whores, so what are women and girls who voluntarily engage in sex? Outside of marriage? With someone who is not of their ethnic group (which is something that **ZPG** keeps bringing up)? I think at the heart of it is **ZPG’s** desire to ruin this girl’s life for having sex with her nephew. Period. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/157 "2011-01-18T05:19:37Z")
I don’t believe any of this ever happened. ---
**Author:** ![Chris\_Luongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Chris\_Luongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chris_Luongo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/158 "2011-01-18T05:37:59Z")
ZPG Zealot, I read this forum daily, but rarely write here, as this board has many who are more articulate than me. Your post has moved me, though. I have no idea if you’ll be rational enough to take me seriously, but I’ll try. I’m 37, male, and (fondly) remember my first girlfriend. I was 17, she was 16. Guess what, we had sex too! In my state that wasn’t illegal anyway, but you get the idea. I’m so happy that when my mother (and her mother) found out, no one made a Federal case about it, nor did they get attorneys or the police involved. My mother was a bit sad that her little boy was growing up, but that was about the end of it. Well anyway, my point is that what you’re doing to your nephew is GOING TO SCREW HIM UP! I can assure you, when he comes out the other end of this, that is, if you manage to force your ideas and thought patterns onto him, he’ll be a mess. He’ll end up with a very twisted idea of what sex is supposed to be, and what a normal, healthy relationship is. Look, if you don’t believe in sex before marriage, or sex before age 18, or something like that, fair enough----talk to him about it. On the other hand, making a big deal about is almost surely going to bring about results that are just the opposite of what you’re hoping for. P.S. Send your nephew a high-five from Chris; I’m glad he’s getting laid. ---
**Author:** ![Chris\_Luongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Chris\_Luongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chris_Luongo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/159 "2011-01-18T05:42:44Z")
Wait, I just thought of something else: You say that something illegal transpired. Then you destroyed evidence of said crime. What does your attorney have to say about that? ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028/160 "2011-01-18T05:49:54Z")
> [@Chris\_Luongo](#): > > Wait, I just thought of something else: > > You say that something illegal transpired. Then you destroyed evidence of said crime. > > What does your attorney have to say about that? Yeah, I’m thinking attempting to destroy evidence (not successfully destroyed as the phone records still exist) might not look so great in the eyes of the law. This might end up with both ZPG and nephew in hot water (and the girl scot-free hopefully). You know what I thought of - how does \*\*ZPG \*\*know this girl is a WASP? She must not realize that not all white people are WASPS. Is this based entirely on the cell phone pics? How would the outrage change if she found out the girl was, say, Jewish? ETA: this is not to say that I particularly believe all this really happened. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-teenage-sex-question/568028.md?page=9)