# What would you do/think if you were the last person on earth **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2005, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162 "2005-09-24T02:00:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/21 "2005-09-24T18:40:13Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > At first I would probably do the Omega Man thing, desparately searching for other people - any people. This would be me as well. It would take a very long time for me to accept that there were no other people left on the planet. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/22 "2005-09-24T21:00:49Z")
“I’d walk around totally naked, holding a Big Gulp _Terminator 2_ glass.” Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/23 "2005-09-24T21:09:18Z")
There’s a short story that I read (sorry, can’t remember the name/author) about how this guy discovers that everyone has disappeared. After a year of searching for people, he finally flings himself off the tallest building in New York. Inevitably, as he’s falling he hears a phone ringing. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/24 "2005-09-24T21:36:32Z")
Necrophilia, then drugs, then cloning. If I can haul enough bodies into freezers over the first couple of days, maybe a steady diet of necrophilia throughout. A steady diet of drugs, on the other hand, is probably incompatible with cloning research. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/25 "2005-09-24T21:51:02Z")
First thing, get myself into a comfortable pair of sweatpants. The pressure is off. Time to go Costanza. Next, I rummage through the homes of people I know. I want to see what they had hidden in their bedroom closets. I know somebody is gonna have butt plugs and home made porn. After nosing around, I set up shop in a porn store. That should last me a few years. Next, I go around and view the great works of mankind. I reduce history to a one man Siskel and Ebert system. If it gets thumbs up, it stays. If it gets thumbs down, it burns. I have no problem not saving it for posterity. I AM posterity. I immediately start referring to myself as “Posterity.” With no animals remaining, I go to Sea World just to comment on how it is no more boring than it was before everyone died. I laugh at my Sea World joke. I realize that I have always truly enjoyed my own comedy. I decide to watch every DVD ever released. I reflect, sadly, that Freaks and Geeks only lasted 18 episodes. During the Michael Bay entries, I contemplate suicide for the first time. I spend the next ten years searching for evidence of the Illuminati, which is basically centralized control of human decisions. I experience the powerful realization that now that I am the sole human, that I personally control all human decisions. I stop calling myself “Posterity” and begin to refer to myself as “Illuminati.” I make another swing by the porn shop and complain to myself that I need some “new porn.” Either way, I make do with the old stuff. Life gets a little less enjoyable after I go blind, but I make do listening to the porn. Eventually, I blindly make my way to Sea World, where I laugh once again about my joke, and die. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/26 "2005-09-25T02:43:50Z")
Steal the world’s landmarks and place them in my house. Or near my house. Or something. Visit the great places of the world…and Disney World, if it’s still operating. Maybe steal a Mickey costume to run around the world as Mickey for no reason. Make Washington D.C. new hometown. Live in the White House, spend leisure time at Smithsonian and Library of Congress…what’s not to love? Steal world’s treasures. Since there’s no other people, I can’t really show off or sell them, but it would be cool. (“World’s treasures” may also include Winnie-the-Pooh\*, one of the Pope’s hats, and other neat things I find on my travels.) New York, empty. Wonderful. Attempt to raise dead, then use them in live shows. Zombie Broadway! Travel around world, declaring every place I touch the Grand Republic of Myself. Travel to cemeteries, dig up famous people…just to see what their skeletons look like. Place them in a new Museum of Dead Folks…again, nobody will see it, but why not? \*The original stuffed animals that inspired the Winnie-the-Pooh characters are on display in the childrens room of the New York Public Library. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/27 "2005-09-25T02:45:58Z")
Also, mass masturbation program. Collect mass quantities of sperm in attempt to repopulate world with clones of myself. If possible without female eggs by the end of the world. ---
**Author:** ![WesleyWes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3be4f8/32.png) [@WesleyWes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WesleyWes)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/28 "2005-09-25T03:14:25Z")
Hello, I would try to mantain my compoture and and hope for a better world. Peace! [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Noahite](http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Noahite) ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/29 "2005-09-25T03:27:49Z")
Workaholic that I am, I’d call in sick for work then take a good long nap. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/30 "2005-09-25T03:35:44Z")
Think: “YES!” Do: Loot. ---
**Author:** ![goitazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9a140/32.png) [@goitazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goitazi)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/31 "2005-09-25T15:21:01Z")
I would loot as much jello as I could find, and then I would attempt to turn one of the Great Lakes into jello. Possibly I would then try to eat one of the Great Lakes. ---
**Author:** ![ic8spots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@ic8spots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ic8spots)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/32 "2005-09-25T21:00:06Z")
I would put my pants on my head and let my eyebrows grow like the mighty (furry) oak. Then I would hole up in someone’s cool mansion with a movie theatre and watch Mystery Science reruns while eating beef jerky and popcorn until I turned old and flabby. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/33 "2005-09-25T21:03:34Z")
> [@Wesley Clark](#): > > If everyone died tomorrow and there were no other people what would you do with yourself? Assume that electricity, food & water would be provided for as well as access to transportation like cars or planes if you can fly. > > How would your values or activities change? I care alot about science but if everyone else died I’m sure I’d stop caring because there’d be no reason to study or practice it. So screw going to graduate school or becoming a scientist. I’d also never have concerns about money, women or family again, so that would change. > > I assume if that happened to me I’d become a hermit, studying eastern texts on religion and using drugs to manipulate my mind to find different states of consciousness. That would pretty much be my motivation in life, to experience all the different kinds of emotions and consciousness the mind has to offer by using cognitive and pharmacological methods. Which is different than my current life where I care about things like science, women, family and careers. I’d be a hippy, taking various kinds of drugs and meditating all day. Then I’d probably kill myself in my 40s. > > Also assume that no animals survive either. No dogs, cats, birds, or any other kinds of pets. Just insects, trees and you. Amending my previous answer… Most likely i’d mutter, “Damn that scientist and his defective, dead-man-switch operated doomsday weapon. I’d order him murdered if I weren’t the only man alive.” ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/34 "2005-09-25T22:43:45Z")
> [@goitazi](#): > > I would loot as much jello as I could find, and then I would attempt to turn one of the Great Lakes into jello. Possibly I would then try to eat one of the Great Lakes. This is a worthy endeavor. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/35 "2005-09-26T00:48:35Z")
Start and finish ALL the posts on SDMB. Get into flame wars with myself and use bad language on GD. Become a moderator. Ban myself. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/36 "2005-09-26T01:18:00Z")
> [@ic8spots](#): > > I would put my pants on my head and let my eyebrows grow like the mighty (furry) oak. Then I would hole up in someone’s cool mansion with a movie theatre and watch Mystery Science reruns while eating beef jerky and popcorn until I turned old and flabby. Not a bad idea. I’ve always wanted to be the only person in a movie theatre, and being the last man on Earth might just make that possible. I’d also play basketball in Madison Square Garden… well, I’d shoot around, anyway. And since I’d never have another tennis partner, I’d find all kinds of cool walls to play off of. I’d also go to the top of the Empire State Building with a jar of pennies and toss them all off, one by one. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/37 "2005-09-26T01:42:03Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Not a bad idea. I’ve always wanted to be the only person in a movie theatre, and being the last man on Earth might just make that possible. Just be sure not to sit behind any tall skeletons. (“Hey buddy, down in front!” ::Kick, skull goes flying:🙂 But hell…one could root through Hollywood, find prints of soon-to-be blockbusters that hadn’t yet been (and never will be) released yet, and throw your own premiere, complete with A-List celebrity guests! (What’s left of 'em, anyway. It shouldn’t make too much of a difference with the Supermodels—they’d just be doing less drugs and providing slightly more interesting conversation than when they were alive.) Hey…anyone remember the “Cadaver Synod”? You could hold a goddamn Cadaveric Crimes-Against-Humanity trial! ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162/38 "2005-09-26T05:44:30Z")
I’d dance naked in a churching singing “War” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-think-if-you-were-the-last-person-on-earth/323162.md?page=1)