# What would you do to your 17 year old son? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2018, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-to-your-17-year-old-son/821577 "2018-09-19T13:00:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-to-your-17-year-old-son/821577/81 "2018-09-22T22:37:37Z")
> [@TRC4941](#): > > This is such a tough topic. Of course, sexual assault, rape, sexual abuse, etc. is awful and should never be minimized. > > But…I was in high school from 1976-1979. When I look back, there were many boys that could have been arrested for sexual abuse or assault (and they were usually the BMOC’s). Teenage boys would push the limits and girls were too afraid or shy to say “no” and just went along with it. It happened all the time during outdoor parties, after dances, parking at makeout spots. A lot of the time alcohol was involved. Back then it was just the way it was. (And no, it wasn’t right) I don’t ever remember any girls coming forward other than talking among themselves. The boys bragged about it in the locker room. I wonder now with the Me Too Movement if any of those men think about those high school days and wonder if they’re going to get called out. A lot of locker room talk is just that - talk - but if the BMOCs and BWOCs were openly inviting girls from the special ed classes to their parties, and taking Polaroids, which happened at my high school and everyone knew about it, that’s another story altogether. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-to-your-17-year-old-son/821577/82 "2018-09-23T00:11:03Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > If you found out he had attempted to rape a 15 year old girl? > > Yes, I am referring to the Kavanaugh case. > > But really. Lets say you are a parent of a 17 year old boy. You find out thru sources he did it, you confront him. He becomes angry at first but then breaks down sobbing that he did it and he is now really, really, sorry. I would consult with a lawyer and then consider the lawyers advice. If the police didn’t show up with a warrant I might suspect that my son was over reacting to a teenage incident and that maybe nothing bad really happened, just teenagers going through growing pains and learning how to properly behave themselves socially. I would reach out to the family and ask if they had heard of any recent incident and if they had any concerns with my son being around their daughter. I don’t think that I would go out of my way to have my son prosecuted if the girl or her family were not pressing the issue. I would make sure that my son was aware (as he obviously was when he told me) that this sort of behavior was unacceptable and that he had damn well learn from it. An apology to the girl would be in order since he feels guilt about, that would be the first step and perhaps the final step. A teenage boy apologizing to anyone in a timely manner is a big deal to them and could mean a lot to the girl as well. Could save her from years of painful memories and let her move on. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-to-your-17-year-old-son/821577/83 "2018-09-25T18:27:01Z")
I’ve always told my kids I wouldn’t shield them from the consequences of their actions. I’ll walk beside them along the path they choose as best I can, but they get to choose the path. I’ll be there to throw them a lifeline, but I’m not going to take over their lives and fix their mistakes. It’s up to them to do that. If they end up in jail I’ll visit, but I won’t bail them out. If they get in over their heads with drugs, I’ll pay for rehab and therapy, but I won’t force them to go. If they get/get someone pregnant I’m not raising the kid, they have to. For the most part(3/5’s of my kids are 18+ now), they’ve kept their noses clean. Enjoy, Steven [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-to-your-17-year-old-son/821577.md?page=4)