Would you still be doing your own laundry if you had that kind of money?
One luxury I’d like to have that is too much trouble right now is freshly laundered sheets every night. Having someone wash, dry and then replace my sheets on my bed an hour before I decide to go to bed would be a nice luxury.
I like it but = a larger cheese cave? Do you already have a smallish one?
Current home is built on a sand dune. That limits our present cheese cave size.
A bowling alley.
The world’s biggest TV.
A 144,000 gallon aquarium.
A fully stocked sushi bar and chef.
Star Trek automatic doors.
A 6 slice toaster.
Ooh, also I’d have a shooting range, both indoor and outdoor with a wide range of weapons, I’d make Hickok45’s collection and range seem quaint.
A room full of guns and a room full of drugs, I’ve obviously thought this through. And of course I’d never use the two rooms at the same time just in case people wonder.
Do these go together? 
At the Monterey Bay Aquarium they have a trout stream. Now that would be great.
The convertible patio exists–it’s called a Loggia.
A fully stocked Harem.
More stuff, later, if I get around to it.
I’ve been to the Mercotan Mansion. You’d be amazed at what he already has. In addition to the Tolkien Library I’m convinced there’s a passageway to Naria in there.
And, Qadgop, is there a reason you can’t have bidets in your current place?
A maid and a cook (who also shops the groceries). Otherwise I like it where I am.
We’ve got 7 bathrooms. I’d need 6 more combination bidet setups. We could get some really nice things with that bidet money. And since our main bathroom is the one in use by us 95% of the time, we’re putting that money elsewhere. Like expanding the cheese cave
I’d want my mansion on forested land in a dark sky area, far from the nearest major source of light pollution. On a huge plot of land, for privacy. What’s the biggest plot of forested land you can buy these days, that is accessible by road and not simple fire trails you’d need a 4WD vehicle for?
A quick google for that kind of thing turned up big ranches that don’t have many trees on them.
Interrrrrrresting thread.
Lets see, about 1100 sqft or so of living space to start, might be a bit higher, I want a really really nice shower. One of those ones made of granite with multiple shower heads from multiple angles. The kind that’s really a small room all its own. Of course I’d need the industrial water heating system to support such a thing, but just a small industrial water heating system, no need to go too crazy, right?
I would have a small kitchenette and a Kitchen/Laboratory/Small Distillery (Bunsen Burner Stew anyone?)
I swear, my wife has no idea how lucky she is that I outgrew my middle school fantasies of my dream house… although I’ll just say she’s never found a secret trap door hiding a secret staircase to a secret arcade with a secret elevator to a secret sub-basement (named for the Nuclear Party Submarine docked down there).
Let’s just say, when I first saw Bongo’s Dream Dorm, I thought about suing Matt Groening for Intellectual Property Theft…
Primarily I want secret passage ways, hidden rooms, tunnels under the house to outlying cottages. But also there’s a sub basement that will survive a nuclear blast, stocked etc. It’s not so much that I think we’ll need it, but might as well. This video sparked my imagination, I guess.
It’s not a ‘What’.
That’s what I call a bath tub.
Simulator? I’m buying a mothfuckin’ jet, playa! Maybe the new Gulfstream G700. I might even learn how to fly it.
I’d need a wine cellar. Also a scotch cellar.
HDTV theatre, obviously
Definitely getting one of those big Bond villain rooms full of ninjas training.
I’m sure my kids will want a Lego room.
I’m not unhappy with my current premises. However, in ideal circumstances:
my abundance of books could all be in a handsome, 1800s-style library and not scattered in bookcases all over the house
an indoor heated pool would be nice
so would a full gym with aerobics studio, a Stairmaster, Jacobs ladder and climbing machine. Plus kettlebells and dumbbells to 200 pounds, plus all the Nautilus gym equipment and a running track. Basketball and badminton courts. Curling ice and hockey rink. Bowling alley. Rollerblading trails. Shooting range.
full movie and concert theatres
dancing ballroom
full-sized tavern with wine cellars
full sized restaurant with pro kitchen
full solarium
small zoo and dog shelter
multi story garage
dedicated sushi bar and chef
dedicated professional pit BBQer/smoker
several masseuses
attractive female bodyguards
rooms filled with 1) Oompa Loompas 2) Lego 3) gold coins 4) dragons 5) sibyls 6) mountain with hiking trails 7) nymphomaniacs 8) celebrities 9) cryogenics equipment 10) a sunny beach 11) bands that I like 12) a nice hotel 13) an ersatz Las Vegas 14) a pleasant forest 15) a Roman bath 16) hot springs 17) theatre costume room 18) device for taking over world under Project Arcturus 19) time machine 20) D&D style artifacts 21) small but pleasant art gallery, maybe a replica of the Musee d’Orsay AND the nice Guiggenheim in Venice 22) so why not canals?
a cheesecake cave