# What Would You Like On Your Hamburger? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 22, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372 "2009-03-22T20:04:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/21 "2009-03-22T22:43:01Z")
Oh…you have enough for me to have seconds? Let’s make this one mayo, lettuce, tomato and anther Pacifico to wash it down. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/22 "2009-03-22T22:44:11Z")
I’d like mine with just cheese, avacado and onion, please. And I’d like one of those awesome bakery-style buns, if you’ve got one. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/23 "2009-03-22T22:46:18Z")
A thick slice of cheddar A handful of chopped raw white onions lettuce Sliced avocado Several slices of tomatoes Lots of salt and pepper No condiments please, unless you have horseradish sauce. And I’d like a margarita please; frozen if possible, hold the salt. God, now I’m really freakin’ hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/24 "2009-03-22T23:03:02Z")
First one: Bacon, buttery fried onions, melted cheddar cheese, and barbecue sauce on a toasted onion roll. I would add a thick slab of sliced tomato, too, but tomatoes won’t be any good this time of year. Second: Jack cheese, Dijon mustard, garlic dill pickle slices, baby spinach, and horseradish, on a toasted Kaiser. And to wash it down, an RC Cola. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/25 "2009-03-22T23:05:40Z")
English Cheddar or Red Leicester, chopped raw onion and ketchup, on a toasted sesame seed bun. Cook the burger until it’s very dead. I’ll have either a nice cold pint of cider or a Dr Pepper. ---
**Author:** ![J-P\_L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/j-p_l/32/3156_2.png) [@J-P\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J-P_L)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/26 "2009-03-22T23:08:46Z")
Make mine with lettuce, tomato, pickles and hot peppers. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/27 "2009-03-22T23:11:02Z")
A mess of grilled onions and mushrooms, with a slice of either provolone or cheddar cheese melted halfway. Mmmm, thanks for the burger. I’ll bring the Dr. Pepper, or Guinness, whichever you prefer. ---
**Author:** ![Jammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@Jammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jammer)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/28 "2009-03-22T23:15:00Z")
**Burger 1** Duke’s Mayo on both sides of the buttered, toasted bun Land o’ Lakes white American cheese. Thick slice Ripe tomato Vidalia onion slice Shredded iceberg lettuce **Burger 2** Duke’s Mayo on bottom half of bun, French’s Yellow Mustard top half (toasted again) Pepper Jack Cheese Patterson’s Hot Dog chili Cole slaw Chopped Vidalia onions Since you are out of Newcastle now, I’ll just have a nice glass of sweet tea. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/29 "2009-03-22T23:37:26Z")
Onion and Mayo only, please. ---
**Author:** ![Kiros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/439d5e/32.png) [@Kiros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiros)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/30 "2009-03-22T23:42:51Z")
One with Cheddar, Bacon, and a good barbecue sauce. That’s fine for both, actually. Please, and thank you! I don’t suppose you have a freshly tapped keg of Dogfish Head 90-minute IPA? Because that would be perfect. If that’s not an option, I’ll sit fine with a Jack and Coke, please. Why did I have leftovers for dinner?! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/31 "2009-03-22T23:50:55Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > ketchup (Heinz, if you have it) We’re decent, hard working, God-fearing people. Of course we have Heinz. Generic brand ketchups are for Communists and thieves. ---
**Author:** ![kitemaker\_chuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a88e4f/32.png) [@kitemaker\_chuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitemaker_chuck)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/32 "2009-03-23T02:54:36Z")
Let’s see… Honey mustard…check! Honey BBQ sauce…check! Ketchup…Double check!!! Chopped onions…check! Cheese (whatever kind ya’ got)…check! Sweet onion sauce…check! Cucumber chips…check! (I’d add some sardines, but I’m afraid I’d get thrown out for “culinary misconduct”) To wash it down…either 7-up or VERY chocolate, chocolate milk!! Now, TWO burgers per guest…hmmmm I think I’ll just save room for dessert! (Got any pineapple upside-down cake?) ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/33 "2009-03-23T03:11:59Z")
Pineapple Fried Egg Bacon ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/34 "2009-03-23T03:16:04Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > We’re decent, hard working, God-fearing people. Of course we have Heinz. Generic brand ketchups are for Communists and thieves. I’ve never understood why ‘god-fearing’ is considered to be a virtue. At most, it seems like a mechanism for social conformity. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/35 "2009-03-23T03:24:32Z")
Moving thread from IMHO to Bob’s Burger Bistro…er, Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/36 "2009-03-23T03:33:36Z")
Mustard on bottom bun Soft cheddar on top, lots Crispy bacon on top Budweiser please ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/37 "2009-03-23T04:16:07Z")
Ideally: Cheddar cheese Onion Lettuce Tomato Hot banana peppers Ketchup Mustard Relish > [@](#): > > I like mine with lettuce and tomato > Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes > Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer > Well good god almighty which way do I steer for my > Cheeseburger in paradise ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/38 "2009-03-23T04:26:38Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I’ve never understood why ‘god-fearing’ is considered to be a virtue. At most, it seems like a mechanism for social conformity. It’s a turn of phrase that was obviously being used hyperbolically. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/39 "2009-03-23T04:39:29Z")
I really like breand and butter pickles on my burgers with a really good spicy mustard. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372/40 "2009-03-23T05:28:46Z")
Cheese (swiss, chedder), ketchup, dijon musturd, pickles, relish, onions (minced), mayo, tomatoes [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-like-on-your-hamburger/490372.md?page=3)