# What would you tell a 25 year old male virgin? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 21, 2016, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761 "2016-01-21T05:55:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/21 "2016-01-21T17:27:02Z")
Obviously “getting laid” isn’t the answer. Getting a girlfriend might be good though. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/22 "2016-01-21T17:33:38Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Obviously “getting laid” isn’t the answer. Getting a girlfriend might be good though. I don’t think it’s likely to be obvious to a socially stunted 25 year old man why getting laid isn’t the answer. My personal explanation: The _2nd_ time you have sex, you’re still going to be terrible and obviously inexperienced. If you somehow manage to confound some woman into believing you’re not inexperienced, she’ll leave thinking you suck in bed. It just takes a little practice. Most of us get through those awkward first couple times as teenagers. It’s a shame you didn’t, hypothetical 25 year old male virgin, but here we are. Getting a nice girlfriend who doesn’t care that it’s awkward at first is probably your best option. Once you’re through with it all, you can go on with your life and not worry about it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/23 "2016-01-21T17:52:52Z")
Why are you a virgin? Is it due to innate physical issues, lifestyle issues, mental anxiety issues, lack of desire? A useful answer is going to require these questions be answered. Honestly? If I was in your position and I knew (for myself) it was some anxiety based thing and that I was not somehow physically repulsive I would find a professional or a willing amateur and pay for it until I was satisfied I had some kind of sexual skill set. Having a sexual relationship is (normally) going to require you to take some proactive steps to make yourself appealing and that’s all you. Why are you a virgin at the age of 25? ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/24 "2016-01-21T17:58:16Z")
“Start with a mental girlfriend and work your way up.” ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/25 "2016-01-21T22:55:22Z")
What are you waiting for? Carpe Diem. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/26 "2016-01-21T23:17:05Z")
Good pootang is nice… Bad (consequences) pootang will ruin your life. Choose wisely. PS. I didn’t get much of the former…but thank fucking God I managed to avoid the later. ---
**Author:** ![Uniqueorn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uniqueorn/32/2807_2.png) [@Uniqueorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniqueorn)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/27 "2016-01-22T00:01:04Z")
“Don’t listen to the advice of people on an internet message board!” ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/28 "2016-01-22T00:38:44Z")
It would save a lot of time if we had a “how can I get laid” response generator. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/29 "2016-01-22T00:43:40Z")
Being a 25 year old virgin really isn’t any worse than being a 25 year old who met his future wife in high school and has only had sex with her. Lots of guys go their whole lives only having sex with one woman, and many times they end up hating each other. Losing your virginity is over rated. I would tell him to work on his self esteem rather than trying to get laid. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/30 "2016-01-22T06:01:37Z")
If what’s bothering you is purely the virginity fly to Nevada and take care of business. If it’s lack of a relationship that’s a harder problem to solve. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/31 "2016-01-22T06:41:03Z")
Do you have $100 you can spare? If so, why not give it to him and invite him to find a professional working woman who will remove his virginity. I think you would be surprised if you were to learn just how many men lose their virginity by paying a working professional woman to do that for them. I can pretty much guarantee you that he will never forget you and will always think fondly of you if you do that. P.S. Make sure you tell him just how important “safe sex” is. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/32 "2016-01-22T07:29:59Z")
If you’re imagining losing your virginity will change you in some way, like in a movie where you suddenly become suave and confident or something…that almost certainly won’t happen. I lost my virginity in a one-night stand at the age of 18…my feeling the next day was _was that it_? It took maybe another 10 years for me to become confident enough with girls to enjoy flirting and dating and enjoy sex as part of a long term relationship. _That_ was a big change to my life. If you’d like advice on being more confident or whatever, I’m very happy to help guys avoid the torturous route I took 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/33 "2016-01-22T19:36:03Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Assuming you want to change your condition, take steps to make it happen. **Don’t wait until someone else comes to you.** You’ll be waiting a while, maybe even till you’re 59. This needs to be reiterated again. Online dating **Friend PSXer**. I know a lot of people who are in relationships because of it and a good 1/3 of those got married. Or just get drunk and jerk it. ---
**Author:** ![Chihuahua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dec6dc/32.png) [@Chihuahua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chihuahua)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/34 "2016-01-22T20:38:33Z")
“Your sex life is none of my business.” ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/35 "2016-01-22T20:45:11Z")
Is the problem lack of sex or lack of a relationship and lack of sex? I bet the latter. If so, worry about getting into a relationship and the sex will take care of itself. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/36 "2016-01-22T20:46:49Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Being a 25 year old virgin really isn’t any worse than being a 25 year old who met his future wife in high school and has only had sex with her. Lots of guys go their whole lives only having sex with one woman, and many times they end up hating each other. Unless you find the right woman. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/37 "2016-01-22T20:49:09Z")
> [@NeonMadman](#): > > Heaven forbid in our enlightened society that anyone should actually want to wait till they were married to have sex. :dubious: The OP has never given the impression that that was his motivation for remaining a virgin. Why would you think so? ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/38 "2016-01-22T21:00:09Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Being a 25 year old virgin really isn’t any worse than being a 25 year old who met his future wife in high school and has only had sex with her. Lots of guys go their whole lives only having sex with one woman, and many times they end up hating each other. I’m not sure why you equate having sex with the same women is like not having sex, and having sex with different women is like having sex. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2016, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/39 "2016-01-24T00:27:01Z")
I would probably quote Alan Arkin in _Little Miss Sunshine_ (2006): “Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a _lotta_ women.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2016, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761/40 "2016-01-24T00:31:07Z")
If I was in England I’d tell him to keep his pecker up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-tell-a-25-year-old-male-virgin/743761.md?page=3)