# What would you think about my relationship situation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2014, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099 "2014-07-26T15:39:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/21 "2014-07-27T12:53:40Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Let me put this as gently as I can. > > Your girlfriend is “confused” about the feelings she has your friend vs. the ones she has for you. > > Your friend not only isn’t helping you, he’s moving in on her. My guess is he’s fully aware of what he’s doing. > > There are three relationships here. You\>girlfriend, you\>friend, friend\>girlfriend. At least two of them are going to end badly, probably all three. The odds are not in your favor. This :nodding: To the OP: I played in this very triangle a few times when I was around your age. In hindsight I now understand what was going on. At the time it was happening, I refused to listen to anyone telling me I couldn’t have it both ways because I thought I could have it all. Nothing ended pretty. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/22 "2014-07-27T13:11:15Z")
Should we post a sticky or an FAQ on this topic? There must be a canned answer to this question by now… ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/23 "2014-07-27T15:56:49Z")
Even if your girlfriend has no romantic feelings for your friend and he has none for her, she and he have a rapport of people who can be really good friends - apparently a rapport you and she don’t share. The person you are meant to be with is the person you share that rapport with - not someone who shares it with a friend of yours. If your romantic relationship is less intimate on an emotional level than the one she is having with her friends (or your friends) it doesn’t bode well. ---
**Author:** ![CharlieFill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71c47a/32.png) [@CharlieFill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CharlieFill)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/24 "2014-07-27T17:29:48Z")
Well guys, to conclude this, I’ve been living this nightmare for a month already but well, my feelings towards her are more indifferent than ever. It is easy for me to break up and move on… I was really attached to this girl but well, I realized she wasn’t “the one” as I thought. For the moment I will drag this relationship to its limit cuz I don’t feel like making it easier to anybody. If the day comes, and she does it, I’ll be glad cuz I really wanna set her free… Well… No… I want her to set herself free. Meanwhile, I’ll act as nothing happened, I won’t involve my feelings on this anymore, and I’ll just get some sex for a while, as long as it lasts. I don’t really care if it last or not, I won’t be the one who’s gonna leave her way alone and easy. Anyway, if I find someone else while I pretend nothing happened, I’ll go with that someone 🙂 Thanks for your words guys! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/25 "2014-07-27T18:32:02Z")
You’re not mature enough, and she’s not mature enough, and the other guy, well, he doesn’t even matter. 20? I think they are being exceedingly generous. Not one of you sound over 15 to me. Dragging it out so it’s not easy for anyone? Telling anyone to ‘back off,’? Staying as long as possible just for sex? Easy to let her go but, won’t let on about that? What a heaping pile of sophomoric head games and drama making! On second thought, I’m going with not one of you being over 13! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/26 "2014-07-27T19:59:24Z")
I know you want to get even and stay for the sex while making everyone else miserable for as long as possible and make THEM do the breakup. And it sounds like they are the bad guys and gals and might even deserve that fate. However, just imagine you get her pregnant. She has the baby but she decides to go with your friend as lover/husband. So, now you are stuck with child support and dealing with that !@#!#! that broke your heart and your @!#@#@# "friend. Sounds like a fun 18 years or so to me. Get OUT before you get stuck IN! ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/27 "2014-07-27T20:14:40Z")
So many people miss the obvious: just become a threesome! ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/28 "2014-07-27T20:22:09Z")
> [@CharlieFill](#): > > Well guys, to conclude this, I’ve been living this nightmare for a month already but well, my feelings towards her are more indifferent than ever. It is easy for me to break up and move on… I was really attached to this girl but well, I realized she wasn’t “the one” as I thought. > > For the moment I will drag this relationship to its limit cuz I don’t feel like making it easier to anybody. If the day comes, and she does it, I’ll be glad cuz I really wanna set her free… Well… No… I want her to set herself free. Meanwhile, I’ll act as nothing happened, I won’t involve my feelings on this anymore, and I’ll just get some sex for a while, as long as it lasts. I don’t really care if it last or not, I won’t be the one who’s gonna leave her way alone and easy. Anyway, if I find someone else while I pretend nothing happened, I’ll go with that someone 🙂 > > Thanks for your words guys! This makes no sense. You are “living a nightmare” and your feelings towards this woman are “indifferent” and you “want her to set herself free.” Yet you will still hang in there until the bitter end. For sex, and what is probably not very good sex, given the dynamic you describe. That sounds really needy and desperate. Have you no self respect? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099/29 "2014-07-27T21:17:15Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I know you want to get even and stay for the sex while making everyone else miserable for as long as possible and make THEM do the breakup. And it sounds like they are the bad guys and gals and might even deserve that fate. > > However, just imagine you get her pregnant. She has the baby but she decides to go with your friend as lover/husband. > > So, now you are stuck with child support and dealing with that !@#!#! that broke your heart and your @!#@#@# "friend. > > Sounds like a fun 18 years or so to me. > > Get OUT before you get stuck IN! Yeah, a friend of mine was ambivalent to his girlfriend - but too passive to break up with her, and besides, he was getting laid. His son is 22 years old now and he HAS to put up with his ex because there are kids. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-think-about-my-relationship-situation/694099.md?page=1)