# What would your cat do for a living? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 24, 2016, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947 "2016-02-24T04:12:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/41 "2016-02-25T14:31:24Z")
Musician. She is an excellent air vent and door stop player. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/42 "2016-02-25T16:07:47Z")
Our cat would be some sort of reality tv star. He walks around looking pretty but doing nothing. Complains if his food and water aren’t in exactly the right place in the right amounts. Wants affection when he wants it and turns on you the moment he decides he wants to do something else. oh, and also blames you if you don’t want to put up with his sh!t. ---
**Author:** ![Chihuahua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dec6dc/32.png) [@Chihuahua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chihuahua)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/43 "2016-02-25T16:27:03Z")
If my cat were a human, he would be one of those grotesquely obese people you hear about on the news who haven’t gotten out of bed in three years and have to be removed from the apartment by a construction crane. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/44 "2016-02-25T16:37:56Z")
Blue would be a TV critic. He sits in front of the TV and watches with his laser eyes. I have a whole slew of pictures with captions that I think he’s saying. You can see his Facebook album [here](https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.f.dom/media_set?set=a.452660433312.224092.583613312&type=1). Smokey would be a spy. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/45 "2016-02-25T17:01:09Z")
Liberace. He’s gorgeous, flashy, keeps himself impeccably groomed, and likes to walk back and forth on the piano keys. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/46 "2016-02-25T17:21:29Z")
This thread has caused a lot of discussion in our household! We have decided that Mitzy would definitely be in middle management. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/47 "2016-02-25T19:41:59Z")
Sleep apnea study subject. Food taster. Movie reviewer. Cat groomer. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/48 "2016-02-25T20:02:35Z")
My cat would have been president and he would have had his interns in the Oval Office. My other cat would have been a hired assassin. Kind of a female James Bond, always in a tuxedo. And pearls. Which she would use to garrot her enemies. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/49 "2016-02-25T22:17:13Z")
Ursula: Hooker. She is all about the love. RoadKill: Reluctant Hired thug. He is huge. And strong. And smacks the other cats around but only when they piss him off and, as soon as he does it, he acts all contrite about it. Then he is all sweet. Fillmore: King. Or President for life. Past cats: Gouda. Recluse SleeStak: Worlds most undiscerning food critic. Slee ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/50 "2016-02-25T22:24:52Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > This thread has caused a lot of discussion in our household! We have decided that Mitzy would definitely be in middle management. Hee. Gives new meaning to my favorite commercial line: “I wanna claw my way up to middle management”. Emphasis on the claw. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/rJB0CzlzSwY/hqdefault.jpg "Monster.com commercial") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJB0CzlzSwY) ---
**Author:** ![Ignotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecc23a/32.png) [@Ignotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignotus)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/51 "2016-02-25T22:49:42Z")
Mine are pretty much like Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/52 "2016-02-25T22:51:14Z")
Mine would definitely be a very rich, gorgeous, socialite b\*\*\*\*. She is a beautiful medium hair, but so snotty. ---
**Author:** ![NVME702-redux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@NVME702-redux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NVME702-redux)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2016, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/53 "2016-02-26T22:43:40Z")
My daughter claims Alexander would be a stay at home dad. Probably because he’s a “stay in her room” cat. ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/54 "2016-02-29T08:56:41Z")
I think that mine would be a kind of [James Brooke](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Brooke) or [Josiah Harlan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josiah_Harlan) type, only female – She roams out on the street, exploring and “discovering” new and exciting lands, and she has also managed to install herself as undisputed queen of the area. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/55 "2016-02-29T09:19:06Z")
Lucy would have been that female teacher the “popular girls” were terrified of and other people liked, on account of being both strict and fair. Little Boy lived up to his name. He would have been one of those people who don’t quite reach adulthood (I don’t mean those of us who choose to reject parts of it, but the ones who really don’t get it). Misi would have been one of those ladies who have the phone number of everybody who’s worth knowing. If they don’t have your number, well dear, you’re simply not worth knowing! ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2016, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/56 "2016-03-01T00:30:58Z")
[Leon](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/snowboarderbo/media/Leon1.jpg.html) would have a blue-collar job that he wasn’t very good at because he wouldn’t care about it at all. [Tina](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v326/snowboarderbo/Tina%20183-1.jpg) would do whatever she wanted and people would pay her for doing it (so pretty much what she does now, really). ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2016, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/57 "2016-03-01T01:18:26Z")
Let me think … Absolutely beautiful, but not much for grooming; prone to striking the perfect pose; very smart and very demanding; can attack with no warning … Steve Jobs. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2016, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/58 "2016-03-03T04:11:52Z")
Mine would be a sullen, dangerously-quiet juvenile delinquent with a couple of assault convictions already under his belt. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2016, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947/59 "2016-03-03T05:00:05Z")
Sprite - pre-school teacher. She loves everyone, wants to mama the other cats, will try to mama the people too. Boo - Beyoncé. Beautiful, loving to the right people, and very, very sure of the worship to which she is entitled. Panda - that guy from office space who wanted his stapler. She had a rough kittenhood. She wants to be loved soo badly, but absolutely loses her shit when something scares her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-cat-do-for-a-living/746947.md?page=2)