# What would your caveman job be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423 "2011-04-06T17:42:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/21 "2011-04-06T18:46:43Z")
Cook. I do it already for my little clan of neanderthals, can’t see why that would change. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/22 "2011-04-06T18:53:34Z")
I’m a lawyer, so I’d probably be chief. Except I’m female, so that’s probably out. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/23 "2011-04-06T18:54:43Z")
Based on my general abilities rather than specific current job: Night watchman, story teller, and general clean-up… possibly also making and fixing tools. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/24 "2011-04-06T19:00:50Z")
My real-life skill would be just as applicable if I were a caveman. I’d be the Tolkien expert. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/25 "2011-04-06T19:06:07Z")
I’m a programmer, so I suspect I’d be in tools and weapons development. Come to think of it, what I do now is little different than smashing rocks together. I’d always keep the tribal idiot nearby, and spending most of my time looking at him. Supposed to be smashing rocks, looking at the Dope instead. ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/26 "2011-04-06T19:20:29Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I’m a lawyer, so I’d probably be chief. Except I’m female, so that’s probably out. No offense, but I don’t think your ability to put together a good deposition would qualify you as chief over the big dude in the corner with the really big stick. Just sayin. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/27 "2011-04-06T19:25:01Z")
> [@dawson](#): > > No offense, but I don’t think your ability to put together a good deposition would qualify you as chief over the big dude in the corner with the really big stick. Just sayin. 😃 She could sue him for custody of the stick. ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/28 "2011-04-06T19:56:04Z")
_Whack_. Stick to the side of the head. Case dismissed! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/29 "2011-04-06T20:02:49Z")
Yeah, but then there’s the personal injury lawsuit. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/30 "2011-04-06T20:35:08Z")
Dying in childhood from poor eyesight (things get blurry about six inches out) or poor teeth (I had braces, retainers, headgear–the works–and if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to chew properly, with no way to bite off pieces of things because my front teeth wouldn’t meet). If the rest of the band had sacrificed to keep me alive, I probably would have died at the age of 25 when I had my pulmonary embolism. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/31 "2011-04-06T20:44:29Z")
Same here - my role would have been “vague memory of someone who died in childhood”. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/32 "2011-04-06T20:52:24Z")
Storyteller, bully, & thief. ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/33 "2011-04-06T20:52:34Z")
A prostitute would still be a prostitute and a pimp would still be a pimp. Or would they? A lawyer would still be a liar. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/34 "2011-04-06T21:09:18Z")
I’d like to do the cave paintings. ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/35 "2011-04-06T21:24:17Z")
I’d be doing the paperwork for the tribe shaman, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/36 "2011-04-06T21:34:28Z")
Ditto on the really bad eyesight and various childhood diseases would have wiped me out thing. If I survived, as a psychologist, yeah sabre tooth bait. Way too many Shaman to compete with for that to be a possible gig. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/37 "2011-04-06T21:39:59Z")
Lorekeeper. Honestly. Not so much coming up with the stories–though I can, and do–but remembering stories and songs and such. I can easily remember words and phrases verbatim, and for long periods of time. Fortunately, my eyesight didn’t get _too_ terrible until recently. However, as it stands now, if it weren’t for corrective lenses, I’d be fucked (my left eye is now at the point where things are _never_ clear, regardless of distance). ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/38 "2011-04-06T22:54:21Z")
Given that I’m female - probably producer of offspring and gatherer of edible foods. Also, basket weaving and sewing skins (I’m a weaver and leathercarver IRL) ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/39 "2011-04-06T23:14:29Z")
Supply Chain. Whatever you need, I’ll get it. Somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/40 "2011-04-06T23:17:10Z")
> [@Otara](#): > > Ditto on the really bad eyesight and various childhood diseases would have wiped me out thing. > > If I survived, as a psychologist, yeah sabre tooth bait. Way too many Shaman to compete with for that to be a possible gig. > > Otara I will be happy to murder the people ahead of you in line for tribal shaman, and thus force your ascendency to the position, for a small fee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423.md?page=3)