# What would your caveman job be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423 "2011-04-06T17:42:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/41 "2011-04-06T23:32:14Z")
Bait ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/42 "2011-04-06T23:36:29Z")
Makin’ spears, chipping flint knives. Maybe domesticating wolves into dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/43 "2011-04-06T23:48:28Z")
Ooo murderous henchmen, I hadnt considered that - Shaman ethics are probably a bit different to the APA. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/44 "2011-04-06T23:50:14Z")
> [@Otara](#): > > Ooo murderous henchmen, I hadnt considered that - Shaman ethics are probably a bit different to the APA. > > Otara I am not a _henchman_, sir. I am an _indepedent contractor in the maiming field_. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/45 "2011-04-07T00:05:16Z")
My job is telling people they are doing something wrong without telling them the right way to do it. Never mind tiger bait, they’d tie me up for sloth bait. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/46 "2011-04-07T00:10:06Z")
I’m retired so I get to be a tribal elder. You’ve all got to feed me and listen to my stories. ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/47 "2011-04-07T00:29:10Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m retired so I get to be a tribal elder. > > You’ve all got to feed me and listen to my stories. Or put you on an ice floe. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/48 "2011-04-07T00:34:10Z")
I’m an economist, so I’d be dead. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/49 "2011-04-07T00:37:16Z")
I wouldn’t have survived long enough to be bait. Bad eyesight, premature birth, etc… I almost died as it was. ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/50 "2011-04-07T00:39:12Z")
Wrangler of unruly cavechildren (I’m a behavior therapist). Also, I can fingerpaint a mean bison. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/51 "2011-04-07T01:13:29Z")
Me teach Grok how speak caveman good! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/52 "2011-04-07T01:24:38Z")
Gene spreader. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/53 "2011-04-07T01:28:10Z")
I would be a practitioner of the oldest profession…hairdresser! Weaving in bones, shells, flowers, hacking off hunks of hair with a stone blade to make bangs so you can see. Hey, I would invent the braid! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/54 "2011-04-07T04:15:08Z")
Hunter. And no one has said hunter yet! I’ll be quite important in our tribe, I guess. I would also be something of a storyteller. I could see myself leading hunts by day, and telling tales around the campfire at night. It honestly sounds much more rewarding than my life in 2011. In some ways I think this is why video games resonate so much with my generation. That direct cause/effect and struggle/objective relationship is so much more prevalent and attainable in video games vs a lot of our daily lives. Our goals are less tangible and much more long term. There’s an allure in plundering tombs for gold to buy a fancy sword or getting enough headshots to earn a medal. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/55 "2011-04-07T09:32:49Z")
Considering some of my past hobbies, I’d be maker of the firewater with all that useless rotten grain. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/56 "2011-04-07T10:24:02Z")
I’d catch fish. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/57 "2011-04-07T10:43:45Z")
Cave painter and clothing maker. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/58 "2011-04-07T11:09:17Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > War Chief. Dude, serious? You’re a lawyer. Possibly sneaky tribal shark. 🙂 Sneaky tribal shark in training. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/59 "2011-04-07T11:19:51Z")
Storyteller/teacher; herbalist; headologist. That’s based on the kind of training I got (chemistry), the many hours I have spent watching other people’s kids and/or answering difficult questions (“are babies made lying down?” “who was that Hitler guy and why are our parents refusing to tell us?”) and that a big part of my job involves figuring out what makes different people tick. I’m reasonably sure that I wouldn’t be getting hired by other tribes to improve their processes (I’m a management consultant), but the storyteller and headologist aspects might come in handy to improve ours and therefore our lives (I’m also one of those people who are always thinking “how could this work better?” - I do stay away from Stuff That Ain’t Broken, though). > [@j66](#): > > My job is telling people they are doing something wrong without telling them the right way to do it. Ah, so you get to be the Scary Shaman: Doing Fire’n’Brimstone Since Before We Had Matches. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/60 "2011-04-07T11:35:04Z")
I’d be the third herbalist. I would know where plants grow, their uses, I would gather all the plants the healer needs and pick up some medical lore on the way. I’d teach eveybody about good bugs and bad bugs and how to tell them apart. I would also love to try and make soap and paint and lye, so I’d be a bit of a chemist. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423.md?page=4)