# What would your caveman job be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423 "2011-04-06T17:42:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/81 "2011-04-07T23:31:39Z")
Based on my current job, it would be dragging other crippled cavemen to their healers three caves down the trail, and back to their caves. There would be many disputes over the agreed upon price in shiny stones. Occasionally Depending on the level of sophistication, I would operate some kind of crude sled, or ornery dinosaur. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/82 "2011-04-08T07:25:28Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Cave painter and clothing maker. Cave art critic. I find your work underivative. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/83 "2011-04-08T07:46:29Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Cave art critic. > I find your work underivative. Brilliance. Me? I’m a cowardly weakling, so I would do what I did in school: hang around the bigger caveman, flatter my way into his clan, and be a mere lackey. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/84 "2011-04-08T15:42:40Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > What DO they teach in these schools? Nitpicking and hoop-jumping. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/85 "2011-04-08T17:28:15Z")
Since I’m an artist, I’d do the cave paintings and petroglyph carving. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/86 "2011-04-08T17:33:09Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Nitpicking and hoop-jumping. And hip-hop appreciation too, yes? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/87 "2011-04-08T18:01:25Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > And hip-hop appreciation too, yes? You still never watched that video, did you? Infidel. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/88 "2011-04-08T18:44:45Z")
Builder, hunter, fisherman, navigator, tool-maker. Anything but agriculture. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/89 "2011-04-08T18:52:17Z")
Hey fellow cave painters, we should figure out a way to incorporate a cryptic message to [Werner Herzog](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1664894/)! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/90 "2011-04-08T18:54:12Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > You still never watched that video, did you? Infidel. I certainly did watch it. I gave you my word, which is good even when I have on the evil hat. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/91 "2011-04-08T19:08:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I certainly did watch it. I gave you my word, which is good even when I have on the evil hat. Well, the last time I asked, you hadn’t yet, and you never responded back. And, while I trusted that you would \*eventually \*watch it, “eventually” has a very long time frame. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/92 "2011-04-09T00:34:18Z")
> [@](#): > > Ah, so you get to be the Scary Shaman: Doing Fire’n’Brimstone Since Before We Had Matches. Much more interesting than what I had in mind. > [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Considering some of my past hobbies, I’d be maker of the firewater with all that useless rotten grain. Oh, thank you. If I fail at the Scary Shaman job, I can insist you calibrate your fire, qualify your rotten grain vendor, and run proper trials for your firewater. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/93 "2011-04-09T03:34:11Z")
If my role-playing experiences are any guide, I’ll be the one trying to extinguish other cavemen when they discover fire after playing in the tar pits. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/94 "2011-04-09T04:02:15Z")
If it’s based upon my current IRL job (inventory management), I’d be the one keeping track of the food locker, the tools, beads and shells. Based upon my previous career experience, I’d be figuring out a better way to hunt the mammoth (process writing). Based upon my hobbies, I’d be a bard(bardess?..anyway, musician) or one of the cave painters (visual art). I’d also make a decent scout (hiker, camper) or hunter of small game (it’s a stretch, target shooting). Based upon my upbringing, I could also be a farmer, rancher or butcher in a settlement. Jill of all trades, master of only a couple. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/95 "2011-04-09T05:17:02Z")
\ Where are we located? What sort of sustenance economy do we practice? When are we located? Most importantly, _who_ are we? _Homo_ or something else? If we are Hunter-gather _Homo sapiens_ living in the Middle Paleolithic off of the coast of Italy, then we probably would have lived in a rather egalitarian group of individuals who ate a lot of seafood, in addition to a huge variety of nuts, animals, fruits, seeds, and perhaps even some grains. We would have lived in small, mobile groups that came into contact and traded with other groups, such as Neanderthals. We had jewelry, rituals, and likely cannibalized other humans. Females wouldn’t have reached menarche until about 18 or so years of age, would have a 4 year birth interval, and both genders could have lived to their 70s. We had fire, spears, and may have had needles. \ I would be extremely knowledgeable about the behavior of some of the other species we prayed on (perhaps including humans). I’d suck at making stone tools (I know from experience), but I’d make up for it by weaving reeds and things together into baskets and clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/96 "2011-04-09T05:23:21Z")
The caveman job that most closely resembles my own would be ‘obsidian spear point technician’. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/97 "2011-04-09T07:25:54Z")
> [@TheoS](#): > > I’m an accountant- please help me find a job! I know… I could be a temporary for anybody that doesn’t feel like doing their caveman duties that day. One day I could be a fire watcher, another day bait, another day I could fill in for the gene passer alonger… Alright, who scheduled bait day before gene passing day? I told you guys, future generations are going to want bait volunteers too. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/98 "2011-04-09T07:42:30Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Since I’m an artist, I’d do the cave paintings and petroglyph carving. Trash cleaner upper. And yelling at people who write on the walls. I’m “big” enough to make Hells Angels pick cigarette butts off the road, I know I could make people cave people shit in the proper place. No writing my MY cave walls, go outside and chivel on the outside!!! ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/99 "2011-04-09T07:52:44Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > No writing my MY cave walls, go outside and chivel on the outside!!! Philistine! Well, future Philistine at least. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/100 "2011-04-09T08:06:23Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > \ > Where are we located? What sort of sustenance economy do we practice? When are we located? Most importantly, _who_ are we? _Homo_ or something else? I would advice you not to go around asking other cavemen if they are _homo_, unless you want to reach an evolutionary dead end sooner than you expected. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423.md?page=6)