# What would your caveman job be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423 "2011-04-06T17:42:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Mister\_Owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@Mister\_Owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Owl)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/101 "2011-04-09T19:03:44Z")
A most amusing thread. Being an hobbyist experimental archeologist (just a fancy name for someone that likes to play with sticks, stones and animal bones,) I actually do all of the things people mention in this thread. I know how to track and stalk animals, can dress and skin em too. I know how to tan the skins and how to make the weapons with which to kill them. On rare occasions I actually teach people how to do these things and much more. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/102 "2011-04-09T22:05:14Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Philistine! Well, future Philistine at least. 😛 As crabby as I’m feeling today, I’d probably be the first one to grow a lawn, just so I could yell “Get off my grass!!!” ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/103 "2011-04-09T23:04:37Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > Females wouldn’t have reached menarche until about 18 or so years of age, No shit? That’s sort of wild, considering it happens to modern-day girls at what… 12-13? I suspect that I’d have been a hunter/warrior type, whatever you call the young aggressive types in a tribe, or whatever they end up as later on when they’re not so young. I always liked contact sports and things like wrestling, competition, and exercise when I was younger, and now I’m a lot wiser and thoughtful (although not _that_ old at 38). Plus, I’m tall and fairly naturally muscular, so my physical appearance dovetails fairly nicely with my temperament. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/104 "2011-04-10T01:13:29Z")
As a writer, I suppose I’d be the scribe, and perhaps teacher of others. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/105 "2011-04-10T05:42:37Z")
Seamstress probably. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/106 "2011-04-10T12:55:16Z")
> [@j66](#): > > My job is telling people they are doing something wrong without telling them the right way to do it. Ah, human resources. ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/107 "2011-04-10T18:17:13Z")
My job would be to round up all of the little savages after the hunt and make sure they walk in a straight line back to the cave. Also, I’d be in charge of field trips. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/108 "2011-04-11T00:22:40Z")
> [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](#): > > Ah, human resources. I beg your pardon? [Insert offended huff.] ---
**Author:** ![Zago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zago)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/109 "2011-04-11T00:57:17Z")
I’d be looking out for our cave - make sure we took advantage of the natural daylight, whatever breezes we could, optimize our natural defences. It would probably be the most comfortable / inviting cave (assumining we had neighbors) because I’m adept at creating spaces that make people feel content. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/110 "2011-04-12T18:02:39Z")
Mad oracle. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/111 "2011-04-13T10:34:36Z")
Based on childhood - marine exploration. Based on degree in early medieval history and literature - speculative fiction writer, maybe budding religion developer. Based on job now - being paid by the dudes making new wheels and spears to ask everybody else if they would like to try them out. Based on roleplaying games experience - storyteller and military strategist. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/112 "2011-04-13T13:56:04Z")
I would have started out bouncing between apprenticeships to the hunters, the warriors, and the bards/lorekeepers. Then when my vision started to slip, I’d be stuck with the lorekeepers all the time, and hating it – full of ADHD energy that does not translate well to keeping lore. So I’d go out with the hunt again. And screw up taking down the prey, because my distance vision isn’t as good as it used to be. Scuba Ben, killed by a sabertooth tiger, before age 20. ---
**Author:** ![Cincoflex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@Cincoflex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cincoflex)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/113 "2011-04-13T13:56:34Z")
Wild foods taste tester. I’m not sure I’d last long, but others could point to my rotting carcass and mutter about not eating those funny white berries. ---
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/114 "2011-04-13T14:26:42Z")
I’ve always enjoyed figuring out how things work, and I also enjoy teaching others how things work. So I guess my job would have to be the first one to go out and actually touch the big black monolith thingy that has appeared overnight, then teach the others how to bash in a prehistoric tapir skull with an old bone. The person with the fire-tender job would then finaly have something to barbecue. ---
**Author:** ![BestWifeEver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/838e76/32.png) [@BestWifeEver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BestWifeEver)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/115 "2011-04-13T15:10:43Z")
I’m a graphic designer so I’d paint logos for the shaman, (stick and snake) hair-dresser (stick and shells), fire-maker, (stick on fire) gene-spreader (big stick) etc…outside their caves. But I’m myopic so I’d be working with my nose like an inch from the wall 😃 ---
**Author:** ![goodie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@goodie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goodie)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/116 "2011-04-13T17:15:46Z")
Honestly, I mostly just give my husband sex and he buys me stuff so my “job” stays pretty much the same. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/117 "2011-04-13T18:49:40Z")
Ooh, ooh, can I join the cave painting club? I can do good cats. Speaking of animals- had they domesticated any by the time people were painting in caves? If so, I’d be person who takes care of them. Feeding and breeding and whatnot. Animals like me. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/118 "2011-04-13T19:34:35Z")
> [@Pyper](#): > > Wrangler of unruly cavechildren (I’m a behavior therapist). Also, I can fingerpaint a mean bison. But how do you keep him from turning around and goring you? > [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > I would advice you not to go around asking other cavemen if they are _homo_, unless you want to reach an evolutionary dead end sooner than you expected. 😃 I might take nighttime cave sentry duty - guard the cave entrance all night, sleep all day. No sabertooths sneak up on us. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/119 "2011-04-13T20:06:53Z")
Tool Maker - I’m a carver! ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423/120 "2011-04-13T21:06:21Z")
Cosmologist -\> Shaman. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-caveman-job-be/577423.md?page=7)