# What would your custom T-shirt have on it?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 23, 2002, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499 "2002-12-23T06:01:12Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/1 "2002-12-23T06:01:12Z")

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I got a computer, I got an inkjet, I got iron-on transfers. The world is my cheap tourist trap.

I’m thinking of T-shirt ideas, ones that I might actually wear after the novelty has worn off.

I have two ideas-

One, the front has a picture of Troy McClure of the Simpsons, saying “Hi, I’m Troy McClure…” and the back says, “You might remember me from…” and then his complete filmography.

Two, the bootleg pissing Calvin we’ve all seen, relieving himself onto the words “Copyright infringement.”

Any more ideas?

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**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/2 "2002-12-23T06:09:41Z")

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A picture of myself _wearing_a picture of myself…

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**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/3 "2002-12-23T08:30:56Z")

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I saw two shirts that I felt were really cool and want turned into one… It will have a bunch of penguins across the top with one in the middle wearing a bikini, and beneath it it will say ‘One by one the penguins steal my sanity’

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**Author:** ![Blown\_Injected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@Blown\_Injected](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blown_Injected)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/4 "2002-12-23T11:15:52Z")

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RACE CAR spelled backward is RACE CAR

After all, is there anything more important?

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**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/5 "2002-12-23T11:27:41Z")

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“The stomach beneath this shirt is smaller than it appears”

What percent of people in the US are overweight?

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**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/6 "2002-12-23T12:48:32Z")

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How about the word “binge” on the front and “purge” on the back?

I mean this in a philosophical sense rather than a food sense.

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**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/7 "2002-12-23T13:49:56Z")

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“Will work for fools”

“Your name here”

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**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/8 "2002-12-23T15:20:33Z")

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You could steal ideas from the onion:

“I enjoy drinking beer.”

“Your favorite band sucks.”

Then there’s the classic:

“Listen to Black Sabbath.”

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**Author:** ![Shah\_Jehan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Shah\_Jehan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shah_Jehan)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/9 "2002-12-23T15:27:13Z")

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“I smile because I have no idea what’s going on”

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**Author:** ![Zazie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Zazie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zazie)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/10 "2002-12-23T15:30:13Z")

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Mine would say :

MADE IN FRANCE.

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**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/11 "2002-12-23T17:00:10Z")

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Forgive the rotten spelling

The gene pool could use a little clorine.  
Don’t know (front) Don’t care (back)  
My rice crispies told me to do it.  
My other personality is driving (Oh sorry, bumper sticker there)  
My Godess can beat up your God  
I may be ugly, but you’re mean and I can get plastic surgery  
American by birth, Pagan by choice  
Bad Mother  
Blissfully free of the ravages of intelegence  
Foot Soldier in the Loon Platoon  
Searcing for intelegent life  
Gould spellen’ ain’ta preewreckwezit 4 gould komyunickashun  
My Juvenile Delinquint knocked up your Honor Student  
Been there…Done that… (these are T-shirts right? I’ve never actually seen one that said this)

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**Author:** ![Bimble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b2d939/32.png) [@Bimble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bimble)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/12 "2002-12-23T17:33:48Z")

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Does my bum look big in this?

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/13 "2002-12-23T17:45:30Z")

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I’m down there  
with an arrow pointing down

as a response to large-chested women who wear t-shirts saying

I’m up here  
with an arrow pointing up

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**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/14 "2002-12-23T18:12:39Z")

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Stop reading my shirt.

Look at me not caring. (I made this shirt for my friend Jewell who says that constantly)

You owe me money.

Various mathematical and scientific symbols/formulas (each on a different shirt)

pi (with about 300 decimal places around it in a spiral)

E=mc2 (I have this one already)

1:1.618 (I believe this is the “Golden Ratio”)

Dihydrogen monoxide: fatal if inhaled.

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**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/15 "2002-12-23T18:17:07Z")

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(First off, I love the OP’s).

Okay, mine. The word ‘Masturbater,’ in a pretty cursive font, pale blue on a white t-shirt, with sparkles, like one of those stupid shirts that say ‘hottie’ or ‘princess.’

or

‘Bassists are cool.’  
[slight hijack]  
I actually made some **I \<3 Guam** shirts once. You’d be shocked by how many people ask things like, “Sooooo…who’s Guam?” accompanied by a pervert-y raise of the eyebrows. It’s sad. No wonder it’s taken since 1973.  
[/slight hijack]

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**Author:** ![jellen92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@jellen92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellen92)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/16 "2002-12-23T18:32:09Z")

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I saw this at a used-clothing store and now wish I bought it…

‘nobody puts baby in a corner’

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**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/17 "2002-12-23T20:31:11Z")

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I would like one that says “Varsity Masturbation Team” on the front and “Team Captain” on the back.

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**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/18 "2002-12-23T20:39:43Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Orange Skinner \*  
> I actually made some **I \<3 Guam** shirts once. You’d be shocked by how many people ask things like, “Sooooo…who’s Guam?” accompanied by a pervert-y raise of the eyebrows. It’s sad. No wonder it’s taken since 1973.  
> [/slight hijack]

I am the owner of one of **Orange Skinner’s** “I \<3 Guam” shirts, and wear it with pride.

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**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/19 "2002-12-23T20:49:12Z")

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A detailed diagram of my internal organs, directly over the general area they’d actually be.

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**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\
**Post date:** [December 24, 2002, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-custom-t-shirt-have-on-it/144499/20 "2002-12-24T03:16:54Z")

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“I’m having a bad scalp day”

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