# What would your haka response be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 13, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065 "2015-07-13T16:42:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/1 "2015-07-13T16:42:02Z")
[The Welsh bypass recreating “Men of Harlech” from Zulu,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVQ8wtbc4bo) opting instead for stony silence. Me: Curly Howard. Definitely Curly Howard. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/2 "2015-07-13T17:16:22Z")
That was amusing. 🙂 Thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/3 "2015-07-13T17:18:14Z")
Sub-machine gun. Applied liberally. ---
**Author:** ![HotDogWater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/35a633/32.png) [@HotDogWater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HotDogWater)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/4 "2015-07-13T17:55:44Z")
This is one of my favorite haka responses. 1989, Landsdowne Road. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fg4FyhZ-Kg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fg4FyhZ-Kg) ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/5 "2015-07-13T18:53:38Z")
“Men of Harlech” would be wonderful. Someone would probably take offense, though. The Irish team could do Riverdance? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/6 "2015-07-13T20:10:29Z")
Well, now I know what the hell a “Haka” is. I think. 😕 Has anyone ever done _The Macarena?_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/7 "2015-07-13T20:11:05Z")
I was at the All Blacks - USA Eagles match in Chicago last fall and I can not for the life of me remember what the Eagles did during or after the Haka. My college team had a pre-game song referencing prostitution, poor sportsmanship, STDs, onanism, and other such delights. Probably wouldn’t be allowed to sing it these days. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/8 "2015-07-13T21:32:51Z")
Something decent, and military, I think. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/7-2jLLMdEBw/hqdefault.jpg "Military Camp Drill - Monty Python") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-2jLLMdEBw) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/9 "2015-07-14T01:41:30Z")
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers… and you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/10 "2015-07-14T04:23:29Z")
The Tonga response - Broke with tradition but was awesome - just for the record - Tonga and New Zealand share very close histories - the Tonga “dance” was also a Haka The Munster at the beginning - this was great, as hosts Munster were issuing the challenge to which the All Blacks responded. Munster is also a “legend” for a game way back in 1974 when they, a 2nd division club side beat the All Blacks - the game was so legendary a movie was made about it As for the Australian response - singing Waltzing Matilda and the petty prattle coming from the commentators - that’s about the sort of poor sportsmanship and bigotry that we have come to expect from Australian sports. Whatever you want to say about their prowess, the Australians are amongst the “worst sports” I have seen - and their commentators are amongst the most biased in the world. The response was in incredibly poor taste and perhaps the most insulting way to respond to the Haka. Do remember - the Haka is more than a "dance’ - it is very much a part of the New Zealand culture - this is how opposing tribes would issue challenges to each other prior to battle. And Maori culture is very much a part of New Zealand everyday life - which is part of what makes the Australian response in such poor taste, and the commentators, who should know better, so bigoted. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/11 "2015-07-14T04:54:46Z")
These days, both teams have to be on the 10 meter line, so there is 20m of no-man’s land between the teams. In the 2011 World Cup final, the French ignored this and marched up to the half-way line during the Haka and were fined for doing so. New Zealanders couldn’t have cared less, and took up a whip-round to pay the fine for the French. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/12 "2015-07-14T05:13:00Z")
> [@si\_blakely](#): > > These days, both teams have to be on the 10 meter line, so there is 20m of no-man’s land between the teams. In the 2011 World Cup final, the French ignored this and marched up to the half-way line during the Haka and were fined for doing so. > > New Zealanders couldn’t have cared less, and took up a whip-round to pay the fine for the French. Yeah… Speaking only for myself - I love to see the “challenge” accepted “like a man” - the style of the French, Welsh, Munster (Irish) is fantastic ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/13 "2015-07-14T07:57:35Z")
I’ve never understood why the All-Blacks are indulged to that degree. No one should be obligated to stand there while they perform it. I’d walk my team down under the posts for a huddle and a chat and let the others get on with it. Ideally I’d get rid of it on the pitch altogether unless they choose to sing it instead of their national anthem. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/14 "2015-07-14T08:45:01Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > I’ve never understood why the All-Blacks are indulged to that degree. No one should be obligated to stand there while they perform it. I’d walk my team down under the posts for a huddle and a chat and let the others get on with it. > Ideally I’d get rid of it on the pitch altogether unless they choose to sing it instead of their national anthem. Indulged? Do you have any idea of the history of the Haka? Or that it was first performed as early as 1884 - and has been a large part of New Zealand rugby since then? Or that it was performed by NZ soldiers during the Boer War? To suggest that the All Blacks are “indulged” is rankly offensive. (and sounds like typical Australian sour grapes) That said - a huddle under the far end goal posts to “do your own thing” would be an entirely acceptable response - although I would far rather see the team face the challenge. And for the record - if any other team has their own history of “Challenge Dance” - they are more than welcome in my eyes to perform any such “dance” - as many do, like Tonga and Samoa for instance. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/15 "2015-07-14T08:56:19Z")
I can’t sing for shite, but there’s a jota which “can only be sung if you’re mad enough to fuck a lion”, _Es de hierro_. Hearing it sung has an interesting effect on crowds, as some will say “a fight! :eek:” and do their best to get the hell away while others exclaim “a fight! :D” and zoom in to the sound. _Es de hierro y pesa mucho, el escudo de Navarra es de hierro y pesa mucho, y el que quiera levantarlo va a tener que ser muy ducho el que quiera levantarlo, q’es de hierro y pesa mucho._ It’s made of iron, and heavy, the shield of Navarre is made of iron, and heavy, anyone who wants to lift it will have to be very skilled, anyone who wants to lift it for it’s of iron, and heavy. (_Levantar_ has multiple meanings, including raise and steal) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/16 "2015-07-14T09:30:00Z")
While on holidays in New Zealand years ago I went on a bus trip to a Māori village. For some reason I was chosen to be “captain of the bus” and we were to act like new arrivals by sea. My first duty was to receive the haka. It was roughly explained to me in the presence of the whole busload of passengers. After the passengers got off the young tour guides, all māoris, had a private chat with me. Don’t try to be funny, try to avoid prolonged eye contact with the dancer but don’t be intimidated. It’s a display not a challenge, if he was serious he’d use the massive spear he has. So they stressed don’t try to be funny. Made the whole thing fascinating especially from only a few feet away. And that’s what I would tell any team I coached - go out there, get close, treat it with respect and enjoy the whole experience. There are probably tens of thousands of people in the stands who would happily watch it close up. And really if the other team doing something that has nothing to do with the game puts you off your game pick another sport. ---
**Author:** ![Krav\_Manga](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krav_manga/32/3153_2.png) [@Krav\_Manga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krav_Manga)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/17 "2015-07-14T10:00:41Z")
Sam Scott-Young’s wink in 1992 was pretty good. Of course the thuggish AB’s responded by tapdancing on his head and breaking tiny Paul Carroza’s nose later on. Wallabies flogged them that series though, and have rarely looked better in the 23 years since. [Go to about 2.15](https://youtu.be/rBRgXguANKc) ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/18 "2015-07-14T10:46:02Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > Indulged? Yes, indulged > [@](#): > > Do you have any idea of the history of the Haka? Or that it was first performed as early as 1884 - and has been a large part of New Zealand rugby since then? irrelevant, that’s just an appeal to tradition (and FWIW the Haka has been performed in various ways over the years so discussions on when, how, if, are perfectly relevant) > [@](#): > > Or that it was performed by NZ soldiers during the Boer War? What? exactly what card do you think you are playing here? Brave troops did x, brave troops died, therefore x should be given special status at a rugby match. I suspect many troops also prayed during the Boer war but I’d be equally dismissive of allowing a fire and brimstone bible reading by one side right before kick-off > [@](#): > > To suggest that the All Blacks are “indulged” is rankly offensive. (and sounds like typical Australian sour grapes) You assume I’m Australian?. and your response sounds like kneejerk sensitivity and exactly the point I’m making when I say the All-Blacks are indulged. You know fine well, as do all in rugby, that there is an unspoken assumption that the haka holds a status above the preparations that other teams have. Special dispensation is made for the haka that is not extended to all teams. Thus “indulged”. Read back over the history of the haka and the controversies surrounding it then tell me that the All-Blacks are not indulged. France were fined after advancing on the haka in 2011…fined! In 2006 the all-blacks did their haka in the changing rooms because they were upset about an anthem being played after the haka, how’s that for a sense of entitlement. And where has that entitlement come from? indulgence. It is a source of contention where none needs to exists. Do the anthems, get on with it. Equal for both teams. You need to get yourself up for the game? fine. You’ve got plenty of time to do it when warming up. You certainly shouldn’t get to perform it after the anthems. I’m sure you’d agree with that. What would be the problem with doing it during the warm-up period? Then if any of the opposition are interested they can trot over to watch if they like. > [@](#): > > That said - a huddle under the far end goal posts to “do your own thing” would be an entirely acceptable response - although I would far rather see the team face the challenge. Oh well I’m so glad you find my choice “acceptable” . Very big of you. I’d far rather that no silly intimidatory pre-match rituals were allowed. > [@](#): > > And for the record - if any other team has their own history of “Challenge Dance” - they are more than welcome in my eyes to perform any such “dance” - as many do, like Tonga and Samoa for instance. I see, does it have to have a history that you approved of before it would be an acceptable challenge dance? ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/19 "2015-07-14T11:41:53Z")
So basically your problem lies in two areas 1. You’re intimidated by the Haha 2. I don’t have one so you’re not allowed it. The haka is a part of our culture. We’re proud of it. And we’re not the only country to perform a pre match Haka so no, we’re not asking for special treatment ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065/20 "2015-07-14T12:06:25Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > So basically your problem lies in two areas No, let me be absolutely clear. Everyone should be free to psyche themselves up however they wish but no team should be compelled to take part in anyone else’s routine. I’m not saying you can’t do the haka, just that it shouldn’t be done after the anthems and immediately before the KO. What is the problem with doing it at an earlier point in the proceedings? Either its purpose is intimidation and so must be done right before kick-off for maximum effect ( in which case of course it should be stopped) Or it isn’t for intimidation in which case there is no problem in doing it earlier. Which is it? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-haka-response-be/725065.md?page=2)