# What would your Honest personal ad say? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 8, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491 "2002-09-08T01:27:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Hattrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/34f0e0/32.png) [@Hattrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hattrick)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/161 "2002-11-26T11:41:08Z")
28, SWM with a brick wall exterior, demolition not required, will dismantle for the right person. Introvervted until I’m comfortable, then I creep out of my shell. 5’6, 147lbs (10stone 7 or 67Kg) athleticaly fit, but not slim. Enjoys reading, playing guitar, Mandolin, Violin, playing rugby and fencing. social drinking, and a smoker. I have no kids and can’t have any of my own (testicular cancer). Tired of solving partners socio-eco-emotional problems, would like to have an evening out without a breakdown. I have a soft spot for traveling and adventure. is seeking somewhat stable SWF, with a sense of humour, who is not constantly depressed (bitchy-ness OK). Bust size not important, legs a plus, intellegence a must. height not important +/- 7 inches I can live with. more than casual users of mind altering substnaces need not apply ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Magic8ball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Miss\_Magic8ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Magic8ball)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/162 "2002-11-26T14:33:03Z")
Pro’s: SHe has a mean punch. And a humongous sense of humour. Cons: plump. Overly agressive. Suffers from stupid bitch syndrome. Has no patience for peoples crap and has a horrible temper. Too much hair.(on her head) Wears too much eyeliner. Failing math 10. Very bad influence. Want: Someone who’s funny. And who will buy me books. Lots of books. Don’t even bother replying if you don’t like reading, you heathen. ---
**Author:** ![Innanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecd19e/32.png) [@Innanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Innanna)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/163 "2002-11-27T05:22:46Z")
Extremely single female, veggie, but nice about it. Redheaded–for the next five minutes or so. Two eyes, ears, legs and arms–all in good working condition. Enjoys campy/funny Sci-fi (like Firefly, long as it lasts). Reads waaaaay too much. Likes hiking in the local metro park and eating cake. Has Masters in English, and still can’t spell. Doesn’t smoke, or drink. Looking for reasonably attractive male who has a brain is his head and knows how to use it. Must have sense of humor and the patience of Job. Must also like animals. No, not just to eat. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/164 "2002-11-27T07:55:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PT \* > \*\* > As part of the honesty clause: Must be attractive - stunning is okay - and must not be turned off by the thought of Marmite. Wealthy is also a good point… \*\* Jeeeeez I thought my love for Marmite would be enough to find love!..off to get plastic surgery and win the lottery.😃 ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/165 "2002-11-27T09:10:22Z")
My “real” personal ad isn’t working, how much worse could this do? SBF, 28. NS, ND. 5’8" At best average looking, more or less HWP. Economically stable. Emotionally less so. Highly introverted. Non-ambitious. Tendencies toward bitchiness and light levels of sloth and gluttony. Enjoys talking about fine arts while watching bad TV. Shuts up for the commercials. Liberal. Reads nearly constantly. Nerdy. Religious. Picky eater. Over-educated. Has bizarre relationship with exercise. Incredibly insecure. Tends to resent the people who interrupt her during walks on the beach. Too polite to say anything about it. Is searching for male, 28-35 who likes me, is willing to put up with all of that, and can handle being ignored during baseball games. Absolutely must dance. At least reasonably well. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/166 "2002-11-27T19:37:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Innanna \* > \*\*Extremely single female, veggie, but nice about it. Redheaded–for the next five minutes or so. Two eyes, ears, legs and arms–all in good working condition. Enjoys campy/funny Sci-fi (like Firefly, long as it lasts). Reads waaaaay too much. Likes hiking in the local metro park and eating cake. Has Masters in English, and still can’t spell. Doesn’t smoke, or drink. > > Looking for reasonably attractive male who has a brain is his head and knows how to use it. Must have sense of humor and the patience of Job. Must also like animals. No, not just to eat. 😃 \*\* Helllloooo, nurse! ---
**Author:** ![Anubis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Anubis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anubis)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/167 "2002-11-27T20:28:13Z")
Female who loves The Hitchhiker’s Guide and Monty Python. 'Nuff said. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/168 "2002-11-27T22:10:43Z")
Female bi-sexual vaguely pagan agnostic, smoker, non-vegetarian, 20 years old. Enjoys reading, writing, cooking (sporadically), and is attached to her computer at the hip. Is intensely irritated by stupid people, girly girls, and chauvinists. Likes to dance like there’s no body watching. Sarcastic sense of humour, and a belief that the universe is meant to be laughed at by somebody, so why the hell not? ---
**Author:** ![Ooner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@Ooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ooner)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/169 "2002-11-27T23:37:09Z")
GWM, 19. 6 foot, average build. Blond hair. Dark blue eyes, not the creepy super-light blue variety. Shy, intelligent, occasionally hopelessly dorky. Loves random insane humor. Attractive but sometimes self-conscious. Smart but extremely lazy, skips school to sleep, stays up too late in front of the computer. Previous 4.0 student, but currently not acheiving to potential. Seeking GM, 19-23 for committed and fun but not-too-serious relationship. Must be able to accept criticism without being offended. Must know the difference between teasing and insulting. Must be able to laugh at bad television commercials, Family Guy, and Sealab. Bitchy is acceptable. Mean is not. No serious drinkers/drug users need apply. Must be reasonably attractive and in shape. Butch/Femme and Top/Bottom not a concern. ---
**Author:** ![SexyGayGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@SexyGayGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SexyGayGirl)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/170 "2002-12-02T03:41:28Z")
Hey all. This honest personal ad thing seems to be working really well for me. I’ve gotten tons of replies now, and from some really decent women (well except the one “thing”). The older ladies love honesty, guess they’ve had enough bullshit and are lookin for a fine, young, “honest” girl. 😉 SexyGayGirl. ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/171 "2002-12-02T04:41:10Z")
This is fun. I didn’t see it the first time it came out. Looking thru, I saw a few of you delightful female dopers who sounded great to me. Until someone has the energy to start a new thead for this, here’s my best 5-minute, totally honest effort: 38 y-o WM, will be ‘officially’ single in a couple months (divorce takes a long time in the south), have 3 wonderful, adorable sons who split time with their mother. I’m slim, a bit shorter than average (5’8"), reasonably active and interested in all manner of outdoor-type activities, also games, reading, talking, kids, dining out, travel, and occasional enthusiastic sex. I like to have fun and know how to relax, have a good sense of humor, a good job but am bored and ready for something else. Light drinker. Currently spend too much time on the internet (that would change if I had someone to keep me company [hint, hint]). Looking for female, within 5-10 years of my age, not obese and not anorectic, with a good sense of humor, left-oriented politically, not averse to religion, loves kids, and is able to be loved and to give love, and doesn’t get all wound-up about little things. Open-minded, non judgmental. More about love and helping others than about being critical and selfish. Bigots need not apply. Intelligence is a must. Also, you need to live somewhere fairly nearby (in the South), or be able to travel regularly. With kids, I’m not looking to relocate anytime soon. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/172 "2002-12-02T04:59:06Z")
To my chagrin: “Steadily employed professional male, 5’6”, a sturdy muscular 175lbs. Brn hair/ blu eyes. Likes hockey, the outdoors, jazz festivals, and intellectual discussion. Off the market due to federal law. Sorry ladies." Tripler Sorry ladies. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/173 "2002-12-02T05:03:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*To my chagrin: > > "Off the market due to federal law. Tripler > Sorry ladies. \*\* In the stockade again, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/174 "2002-12-02T05:10:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\*In the stockade again, huh? \*\* Nope. Just in Minot, North Dakota. . . Tripler Much, much worse than the stockade. But you saw this one coming. . . ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/175 "2002-12-02T05:29:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*To my chagrin: > > “Steadily employed professional male, 5’6”, a sturdy muscular 175lbs. Brn hair/ blu eyes. Likes hockey, the outdoors, jazz festivals, and intellectual discussion. Off the market due to federal law. Sorry ladies." > > Tripler > Sorry ladies. \*\* Be still my beating heart…well apart from that whole hockey and federal laws bit. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Candid\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Candid\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candid_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/176 "2002-12-02T05:37:15Z")
SWF 35 seeking SWM (around smame age). Seeking someone who has a huge sense of humor and ENJOYS being a couch potato. I am a woman who likes to stay home. I am a short blonde, green eyed woman who is curvatious and has \*anxiety. \*anxiety normally sends em’ running for the hills. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/177 "2002-12-02T07:06:35Z")
Humm… Still a redhead. Still have a great rack. Still put out. Yep - no big changes here. Oh - did I mention that I have bunnies? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Blunty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Captain\_Blunty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Blunty)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/178 "2002-12-02T08:06:35Z")
21 year old female, 5’‘9, 155 pounds with a ddd bra size, working in sales. Normally, I’‘m quite nice, but when I’‘m bad I’'m terrible. Usually around the 28th of every month. I can be very compassionate but I have this habit of speaking before thinking… Enjoys all the kinky things in life. Would like to find a man who will indulge me. Preferably submissive. A sense of humour is a must as I love a man who can take a joke. Looks and age not important. Come and get me… _growls suggestively_ ---
**Author:** ![Wordy\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d2c977/32.png) [@Wordy\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wordy_One)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/179 "2002-12-02T09:02:12Z")
26, white female, short, nail-biter, misanthrope, slightly frizzy-haired, afflicted with astigmatism, enjoys reading, writing, and avoiding the outside world. I’m probably smarter than you are, and I’ll think I have better musical taste as well. No smoking or drugs, occasional drinking. I wear glasses and I don’t shave my legs more than once a week. Seeking male, preferably Jewish, tall, funny–and I don’t mean Adam Sandler/fart joke funny. You should have a job (I’m not wealthy enough for you to mooch), have read something other than a magazine in the last week, and be ambitious, smart, goal-oriented, and good in bed. You should like animals, especially dogs. Sports are okay provided you don’t force them on me, or watch ESPN’s SportsCenter more than once a day. I come complete with breasts, opinions, a large library of books and CDs, and a website on which to denounce you if you bother me. ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491/180 "2002-12-02T14:11:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyGayGirl \* > Hey all. This honest personal ad thing seems to be working really well for me. I’ve gotten tons of replies now, and from some really decent women (well except the one “thing”). The older ladies love honesty, guess they’ve had enough bullshit and are lookin for a fine, young, “honest” girl. 😉 > > SexyGayGirl. WOOOO! Glad to hear this is working out for you! Thanks for de-lurking and joining us! 😉 Though I must add, I’m a bit jealous of your numerous responses. I haven’t even had a “thing” email me. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-honest-personal-ad-say/127491.md?page=10)