# what would your reaction be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 13, 2014, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487 "2014-11-13T00:01:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/21 "2014-11-13T01:35:07Z")
Maybe they have an in-joke about that song that has nothing to do with you. Or they think you’re a giant lame nerd. Either way, who cares? You’re going to meet lots of people that like you and lots of people that don’t, better to not waste your energy on those who don’t. Try to remember that you’re not half as interesting to other people as you think you are. And that’s not meant to sound mean, it’s just true. Most people (esp of college age) are so worried about what other people are thinking of THEM to spend much time noticing the little things we obsess over in ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/22 "2014-11-13T01:35:13Z")
And yes, no one ever grows out of high school. Except the people who learn that they’re allowed to ignore petty bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/23 "2014-11-13T01:37:37Z")
Is this projection or transference? I can never keep them straight. My reaction even if she held up a sign that said, ‘ONLY WEIRDOS PLAY THIS SONG’ would be to carry on living my life. You have one poodle to train for this circus called life and that is you. Don’t think about their friendship. Don’t think about her reaction. It’s over and whether you were right or you were wrong it will still be over; they’ll never think of it again, neither should you. If you find yourself thinking about it, think about a kitten or a cactus or a cactus-wearing kitten instead. Do that every time until they never occur to you again. Repeat this process for the next 70 years of the crap others will do around you. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/24 "2014-11-13T01:42:07Z")
With maturity, these girls will learn to better hide their silent communications and facial expressions. With maturity, you will learn that it doesn’t matter if people think you’re a nerd or a weirdo for liking certain things. ---
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/25 "2014-11-13T01:47:23Z")
The solution to this situation is: DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT That may seem dismissive, but what really is there to be gained? It may be because they didn’t like the song choice (they’re entitled to their tastes, you’re entitled to yours) it may be because for a completely different reason that is impossible to guess with the information you have at your disposal. Either way thinking on it probably won’t give you any deeper understanding of the situation and even if you could gain a deeper understanding, how would you profit by it? ---
**Author:** ![greenpen3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@greenpen3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenpen3)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/26 "2014-11-13T01:58:22Z")
Thanks for the reply. The thing is, I never said I liked it. I chose it for the class because it fit the topic really well. That’s why they should have been professional and not attributed the song to my identity in the way they did. I won’t make fun or or judge anyone for picking a “weird” song–they’re just doing it b/c it fit their presentation topic well, regardless of like or dislike. Also, that is not to say I would judge someone on their music preferences either unless they were being really hypocritical. ---
**Author:** ![Abracadebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f04885/32.png) [@Abracadebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abracadebra)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/27 "2014-11-13T02:09:20Z")
It’s attributed to many people, but relevant here, nonetheless: What other think of you is none of your business. This may come with age, but as far as I’m concerned, if a person doesn’t pay my mortgage, feed me, or raise my children for me, I don’t care what they think of me. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/28 "2014-11-13T02:15:25Z")
Any chance your fly was down? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/29 "2014-11-13T02:15:58Z")
> [@greenpen3](#): > > I looked at her since she was right next to me and she smiled back in reaction to her friend like “Yeah, what a nerd.” It was obvious she was reacting to the song, like for even knowing about that song I am some type of weirdo That is a whole hell of a lot of information to glean from seeing two girls smile at each other. I think you might just be a bit too sensitive. > [@greenpen3](#): > > That’s why they should have been professional and not attributed the song to my identity in the way they did. First off, you all are college kids, not professionals. Second of all, “attributed the song to your identity”? There you go again. See my comment above. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/30 "2014-11-13T02:20:49Z")
Is this a duplicate thread? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/31 "2014-11-13T02:27:40Z")
No, the other one is. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/32 "2014-11-13T02:29:44Z")
You only need ONE of these topics, so I’ve merged them all. One was in the Pit, so if any future readers find some Pit language above this one, that’s why. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/33 "2014-11-13T02:32:16Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > No, the other one is. \< knowing smile and snerk \> ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/34 "2014-11-13T04:05:54Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > If you find yourself thinking about it, think about a kitten or a cactus or a cactus-wearing kitten instead. Do that every time until they never occur to you again. > Repeat this process for the next 70 years of the crap others will do around you. > [@Abracadebra](#): > > It’s attributed to many people, but relevant here, nonetheless: What other think of you is none of your business. Thank you both – I do obsess over past incidents and the more ways to talk myself out of it, the better! My cactus-wearing kitten will be named Pokey. Or Spike. ---
**Author:** ![HipGnosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@HipGnosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HipGnosis)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/35 "2014-11-13T16:35:41Z")
You assume WAY to MUCH. But why were you ‘presenting’ a song someone in your group hadn’t heard? Didn’t you maturely collaborate on your presentation? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/36 "2014-11-13T16:44:25Z")
Their reaction appeared pretty immature. Your reaction to it seems kind of immature also. ---
**Author:** ![May\_20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@May\_20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/May_20)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/37 "2014-11-13T16:49:23Z")
> [@greenpen3](#): > > Maybe it is one of those situations where you had to be there? Yet again, I say it was EXTREMELY obvious what they were smiling about. They both were completely composed and then the second the song came on the girl in the audience realized the song was “weird” or “different” or whatever and looked at her friend who was standing next to me and I looked at her since she was right next to me and she smiled back in reaction to her friend like “Yeah, what a nerd.” It was obvious she was reacting to the song, like for even knowing about that song I am some type of weirdo. Yet the girl I am in the group with presents “Blurred Lines” and there’ s no laughing or smiling reaction… Okay. You seem to be honing in on the “What a nerd/weirdo” judgment. It’s tough to stand up in front of others and present your work, knowing they are critiquing you, some less silently than others. There’s been a lot of good advice so far. Here’s another takeaway. Are you a nerd? If you are, own it. Be the very best nerd you can be. If you aren’t, shake it off. She either doesn’t know you well enough or doesn’t want to know you well enough for her opinion of you to matter. And that’s okay, too. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/38 "2014-11-13T16:58:21Z")
The reaction of your audience is extremely important. Reactions from individuals in that audience don’t mean shit, unless that individual is the one evaluating your work. Did you get a good grade on the project? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/39 "2014-11-13T17:02:52Z")
Sounds more like insecurity by the OP. It was super obvious! :rolleyes: But, hey you are the one in a sociology class…maybe you should add a psychology class also, to better identify these non-verbal cues. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487/40 "2014-11-13T17:28:15Z")
I’m thinking you’re being very hypersensitive. You teach sociology, but you are baffled that students might smirk or not be entirely receptive to your class? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-your-reaction-be/704487.md?page=3)