# What your favorite joke? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2002, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616 "2002-05-24T04:36:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/21 "2002-05-24T16:21:15Z")
Try subbing “wears” for where’s and see if it makes more sense. [sub]she’s using the soap as a dildo[/sub] OK, one more real quick… The young couple is on their honeymoon. After a few hours of exhausting great sex he says, “Now you won’t see me for a while.” “We’re on our honeymoon!” she exclaims. “Where do you think you’re going?” “Nowhere, Sweetie,” he says. “Roll over.” ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/22 "2002-05-24T16:23:09Z")
OK, **Aro** , consider me whooshed. I’ve said it out loud. I still don’t get it. help me out here. **jjimm**. That is great! I love it! A recent favorite: What’s brown and sticky? A stick ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/23 "2002-05-24T16:31:34Z")
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The egg takes a long drag on a cigarette, smiles at the chicken and says: “Well I guess that answers that question”. What goes clip-clop, clip-clip, boom, clip-clop? Answer: An Amish drive by shooting. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/24 "2002-05-24T16:37:05Z")
From an old Burns & Allen show. “I bought George a toaster from Paris the other day.” “Why?” “He loves french toast.” (That used to crack me up when I was a kid.) ---
**Author:** ![JonTheHasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7bcc69/32.png) [@JonTheHasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonTheHasher)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/25 "2002-05-24T16:53:40Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by gonzoron \* \*\*OK, **Aro** , consider me whooshed. I’ve said it out loud. I still don’t get it. help me out here. I think this might work better in British or something. “Wears” as in “Wears out”. The second nun hears the first nun’s query as “This wears out the soap”. Can someone tell me how to look at the riddle answers besides doing a right click | view source and searching on “Spoiler”? Thank you in advance for your continuing support. ---
**Author:** ![ice1000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@ice1000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ice1000)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/26 "2002-05-24T17:55:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JonTheHasher \* > Can someone tell me how to look at the riddle answers besides doing a right click | view source and searching on “Spoiler”? I highlight the answer line. It the shows up in white. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/27 "2002-05-24T17:57:29Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by JonTheHasher \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gonzoron \* > \*\*OK, **Aro** , consider me whooshed. I’ve said it out loud. I still don’t get it. help me out here. > > Can someone tell me how to look at the riddle answers besides doing a right click | view source and searching on “Spoiler”? > > Thank you in advance for your continuing support. \*\* Hi Jon. Just use your mouse to highlight the underlying text, as if you were going to do a block-and-copy. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/28 "2002-05-24T18:00:42Z")
Every year at Chinese New Year I complain that I hate Chinese New Year because this year is the Year Of the Dragon (insert correct one here) and I’m still writing Year of the Tiger (insert last year’s here) on all my checks. It’s really corny, but still makes me smile… ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/29 "2002-05-24T18:19:41Z")
**ratty’s** joke reminded me of this one: Two southern belles are sitting on the porch, talking. Mary is telling Jane about her experiences in the big city. Mary: “Did you know, Jane, that in the city they’ve got men who like other men? They’re called homosexuals!” Jane: “My word!” Mary: “Yes, and they have women who like other women, too! They’re called lesbians!” Jane: “Gasp!” Mary: “Oh, and did you know, did you know, they’ve got men who will kiss a woman _all over_ her body… especially down _there?_” Jane: “My gracious! What do they call those?” Mary: “I don’t know, but I called him ‘precious’.” 😉 I don’t have a single favorite joke, but that one’s never too far away… ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/30 "2002-05-24T18:30:22Z")
I’ve got two… There are 4 types of female orgasms: Holy: oh god, Oh God, OH GOD!!! Positive: oh yes, Oh Yes, OH YES!!! Negative: oh no, Oh No, OH NO!!! Fake: oh bill, Oh Bill, OH BILL!! \ What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick Okay, one more… A couple are on their honeymoon, and the husband hands his pants to his new wife and tells her to put them on. She says, “They don’t fit!” He says, “That’s right. So now we know who wears the pants in this family.” She hands him her pants, and tells him to put them on. He says, “I can’t get into them.” She says, “That’s right. And with that attitude, you never will.” ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/31 "2002-05-24T18:36:10Z")
I’ve got two… There are 4 types of female orgasms: Holy: oh god, Oh God, OH GOD!!! Positive: oh yes, Oh Yes, OH YES!!! Negative: oh no, Oh No, OH NO!!! Fake: oh bill, Oh Bill, OH BILL!! \ What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick Okay, one more… A couple are on their honeymoon, and the husband hands his pants to his new wife and tells her to put them on. She says, “They don’t fit!” He says, “That’s right. So now we know who wears the pants in this family.” She hands him her pants, and tells him to put them on. He says, “I can’t get into them.” She says, “That’s right. And with that attitude, you never will.” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/32 "2002-05-24T19:31:28Z")
**jjimm’s** joke made me laugh out loud and reminded me of: What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/33 "2002-05-24T19:38:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Khadaji \* > \*\*Every year at Chinese New Year I complain that I hate Chinese New Year because this year is the Year Of the Dragon (insert correct one here) and I’m still writing Year of the Tiger (insert last year’s here) on all my checks. It’s really corny, but still makes me smile… \*\* Cute. I’ll be sure to drive all my friends batty with that one. They think I’m corny enough already. ---
**Author:** ![ice1000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@ice1000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ice1000)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/34 "2002-05-24T19:51:32Z")
Why did the turtle cross the street? To get to the Shell station! ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/35 "2002-05-24T20:11:00Z")
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* Pilgrims! ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/36 "2002-05-24T21:51:57Z")
How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?Four skindivers. If you don’t get it, say it out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/37 "2002-05-24T23:33:57Z")
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two - the trick is getting them in there.😃 -Dirty ---
**Author:** ![heptapod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@heptapod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heptapod)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/38 "2002-05-25T00:01:18Z")
Why do women have periods? They deserve them. Pick up a payphone and go “Hello? You don’t say. You don’t say! You don’t say?” to which someone will ask “Who was it?” and one replies “He didn’t say.” Also this strip: [An Old, Old Joke](http://www.jerkcity.com/jerkcity1044.html). ---
**Author:** ![Latte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Latte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latte)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/39 "2002-05-25T03:45:12Z")
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office dressed entirely in plastic wrap. The psychiatrist says, “I can clearly see you’re nuts.” I think this was posted on the boards before, but I hadda laugh. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ice1000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@ice1000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ice1000)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-your-favorite-joke/110616/40 "2002-05-25T04:28:41Z")
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