# Whatever happened to alien anal probes? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 3, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458 "2010-07-03T21:44:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/1 "2010-07-03T21:44:33Z")
[Inspired by this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=569483) These used to be pretty common in the 80’s, but nowadays it seems really rare. Nowadays, I guess because of the rise in digital photography, you hear more about sightings than anal probes. My theories: 1. They’re still happening, but just not as commonly reported as they used to be. 2. When a redneck wakes up with a sore ass after a night of hard drinking in the forest, maybe they figured out that their “buddies” weren’t as buddy-like as they thought, and they cut back on their drinking. 3. Aliens have finally gathered all the information they needed to get from our anuses. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/2 "2010-07-03T21:50:36Z")
As explained by the excellent documentary series, “The Simpsons”, the aliens have simply reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach them. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/3 "2010-07-03T22:35:38Z")
And why, exactly, do you want to know this, Hal? No, never mind. Don’t answer in the thread. We’ll get our answers in a more reliable way. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/4 "2010-07-03T22:38:13Z")
Look, If it is that big of an issue fo you i am sure we can work something out with the aliens to get one… or a few. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/5 "2010-07-03T22:45:13Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > And why, exactly, do you want to know this, Hal? Two reasons: 1. I’m pretty sure my theory about “rednecks and rum” is correct. 2. I’m seeding the sequential threads threads. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/6 "2010-07-03T22:49:38Z")
They removed a couple of polyps. They were benign. I, for one, respect our alien proctologists. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/7 "2010-07-03T23:17:46Z")
Either they learned all they needed to know, or their leader died. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz7sBTHtcLU) ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/8 "2010-07-03T23:22:03Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > 1. I’m seeding the sequential threads threads. Two already! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/9 "2010-07-04T00:39:05Z")
Simple, interest in alien abductions was a fad. Alien abductions have been reported for decades. OTTOMH The Betty and Barney Hill case was in the sixties. I’m sure that people are still reporting contact and probing, but the public just isn’t interested any more. BTW I was once probed by an alien. I know she was an alien because she showed me her green card. ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/10 "2010-07-04T00:47:10Z")
They’re no longer covered by Medicare. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/11 "2010-07-04T00:57:43Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > [Inspired by this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=569483) > 3. Aliens have finally gathered all the information they needed to get from our anuses. And they’ve stolen our saucers … and we didn’t even know. Um … alien anal probe amnesia ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/12 "2010-07-04T01:30:01Z")
Their victims were enjoying it way too much and it freaked them out. ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/13 "2010-07-04T01:48:47Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > 1. Aliens have finally gathered all the information they needed to get from our anuses. [“Oh, come on. I mean, we’ve been coming here for over 50 years and performing anal probes, and all we’ve learning is that 1 in 10 doesn’t really seem to mind.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz7sBTHtcLU) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/14 "2010-07-04T01:57:56Z")
Six posts too late. I’d ask what you were doing, but the name says it all I guess. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/15 "2010-07-04T02:18:14Z")
Phew! I was worried this was going to be about gay undocumented Mexicans. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/16 "2010-07-04T02:24:42Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Six posts too late. I’d ask what you were doing, but the name says it all I guess. 😉 Fuck! And I looked through the thread, too–was surprised that no one had posted it yet… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/17 "2010-07-04T04:32:06Z")
The aliens are afraid of HIV, ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/18 "2010-07-04T05:48:32Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > The aliens are afraid of HIV, Probe condoms. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/19 "2010-07-04T06:47:23Z")
I have no ideas, but I hope somebody gets to the bottom of it. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458/20 "2010-07-04T07:17:09Z")
> [@The\_Scrivener](#): > > I have no ideas, but I hope somebody gets to the bottom of it. Ouch! Try not make an ass out of yourself. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-alien-anal-probes/545458.md?page=2)