# Whatever happened to biblical epics? And why can't we do a good one now? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 2, 2011, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985 "2011-04-02T23:32:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/21 "2011-04-03T20:11:03Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Why not the Qu’ran? The Book of Morman? Or those wacky Bahá’ís? 😃 Are you confusing this with a TV show? Because there was a short-lived series _ **Those Wacky Bahá’ís** _, filmed in…I want to say the late 60s… > [@](#): > > Bahá’u’lláh and Marge mistakenly assume that their new upstairs neighbors are Zoroastrians in this slice-of-mid-nineteenth-century-Persian-life comedy! When Bahá’u’lláh and Sammy come home late after almost losing the big bowling tournament, they overhear what they believe to be chanting to Ahura Mazda. > > The fact that the mysterious Man Who Lives In Box On Roof has seen a copy of “The 21 Nasks” in the dumpster leads the entire building to put on a fake Talent Show to trip up the hapless Schmedemann family. Side-stitching ensues as gaffe after gaffe almost cost Marge and Bunny their place on the Neighborhood Watch Commando Council, and the guys their jobs! Ahhh… I remember coming home from after-school schlemiel-schtick class to flop on the shag carpet in front of that old B&W Philco, just in time to see the slapstick opening chase sequence and Bahá’u’lláh’s hilarious catch-phrase: **“Who NOW are the venerators of the Sassanian emperors, huhhhh?”** [cue laugh track, and the dunking of Oreos] ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/22 "2011-04-03T20:26:59Z")
I think Exapno Mapcase’s story explains it best. At least, it makes most sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_s\_Son](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@Jim\_s\_Son](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_s_Son)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/23 "2011-04-03T20:39:18Z")
Because Hollywood is run by a group of atheistic left wingers and we all know how intolerant and hateful we are. They talk about diversity and intolerance but disagree with them and they will shout you down and try to silence you. Look how many people talked openly of blacklisting Jon Voigt back in 2008 when he endorsed John McCain…the Republican that liberals had spent years saying the GOP should nominate. Exapno Mapcase’s explanation might make sense if he could tell us what biblical films made after 1970 or so were flops. I can’t think of too many. “Jesus Christ Superstar” in 1973 was the eighth highest grossing film that year. The Passion of the Christ is the 57 highest grossing film in adjusted domestic box office and the highest for a non English language film. How many others have followed it? ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/24 "2011-04-03T20:41:28Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The threshold of protest has dropped. > > If you do a movie about any religious subject, there are going to be people somewhere who are offended by it. And nowadays they’ll get organized and start a protest campaign. > > So studios avoid the headaches and go to comic books for their inspiration on epics instead. That and Exapno Mapcase’s post explain why do you don’t see biblical epics anymore. Also, the biblical epics from the 50s and 60s haven’t aged well. The best you can say about them now is that some of them (like **The Ten Commandments** ) are still entertaining due to camp appeal. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/25 "2011-04-03T20:55:19Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > If you do a movie about any religious subject, there are going to be people somewhere who are offended by it. And nowadays they’ll get organized and start a protest campaign. > > So studios avoid the headaches and go to comic books for their inspiration on epics instead. Why do you think anbody would be offended, and why do you think they wuld protest? Religious movies come out all the time without any protests. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/26 "2011-04-03T20:56:31Z")
> [@Jim\_s\_Son](#): > > Because Hollywood is run by a group of atheistic left wingers and we all know how intolerant and hateful we are. They talk about diversity and intolerance but disagree with them and they will shout you down and try to silence you. Look how many people talked openly of blacklisting Jon Voigt back in 2008 when he endorsed John McCain…the Republican that liberals had spent years saying the GOP should nominate. How many is it? I don’t recall ever hearing about it. According to IMDB, he’s been working steadily in television since the election, and has a new movie coming out in 2011, so it appears the talk (if there was any talk) was just talk after all. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/27 "2011-04-03T20:57:32Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Okay, but I guess that invites the question: Why can’t the Christian religious movie community be expected to do for, say _Jonah and the Whale_ what they did for _PotC_? For a second there, I got my acronyms confused, and was deeply amused by the idea of a staggering, dreadlocked Johnny Depp playing Our Lord and Savior. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/28 "2011-04-03T22:30:37Z")
> [@Jim\_s\_Son](#): > > Because Hollywood is run by a group of atheistic left wingers and we all know how intolerant and hateful we are. They talk about diversity and intolerance but disagree with them and they will shout you down and try to silence you. Look how many people talked openly of blacklisting Jon Voigt back in 2008 when he endorsed John McCain…the Republican that liberals had spent years saying the GOP should nominate. I had no memory of this at all. When I Googled it, all I found was that a comment by a non-Hollywood blogger set off the blogosphere, but I never found anything that said anyone in Hollywood actually suggested anything of the sort. If you could provide cites of actual executives in Hollywood talking about blacklisting anyone, your outrage would be justified. > [@](#): > > Exapno Mapcase’s explanation might make sense if he could tell us what biblical films made after 1970 or so were flops. I can’t think of too many. “Jesus Christ Superstar” in 1973 was the eighth highest grossing film that year. The Passion of the Christ is the 57 highest grossing film in adjusted domestic box office and the highest for a non English language film. How many others have followed it? I never made any claim that Biblical epics flopped. I claimed, correctly, that they stopped being made by Hollywood. I’m still picking up my jaw from the floor at your cite of Jesus Christ Superstar as a counterexample. How less epic can a movie possibly be? And as for offense: [The Broadway production](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ_Superstar#Controversy) > [@](#): > > The Broadway show and subsequent productions were condemned by some religious groups. Tim Rice was quoted as saying “It happens that we don’t see Christ as God but simply the right man at the right time at the right place.”[10][11] Some Christians consider these comments to be blasphemous, the character of Judas too sympathetic and some of his criticisms of Jesus offensive.[12] At the same time, some Jews said that it bolstered the anti-Semitic claim that the Jews are responsible for Jesus’ death by showing most of the villains as Jewish (Caiaphas and the other priests, Herod) and showing the crowd in Jerusalem calling for the crucifixion.[13][14] The musical was banned in South Africa for being “irreligious”.[15] The film stirred up the same complaints, even though changes were made to the script to make it more acceptable. Jesus Christ Superstar taught producers everywhere that the 60s were over and that religious materials were too touchy to touch. I can’t think of a worse example you could have picked to try to make your case. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/29 "2011-04-03T22:31:04Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Why do you think anbody would be offended, and why do you think they wuld protest? Religious movies come out all the time without any protests. Is that a whoosh? _Life of Brian_ was protested against. _The Last Temptation of Christ_ was protested against. \*The DaVinci Code \*was protested against. _The Passion of Christ_ was protested against. _Dogma_ was protested against. _The Golden Compass_ was protested against. _Jesus Christ Superstar_ was protested against. _Religulous_ was protested against. _Goya’s Ghosts_ was protested against. _The Name of the Rose_ was protested against. _The Love Guru_ was protested against. _Saved_ was protested against. _Priest_ was protested against. _Jesus Camp_ was protested against. _The Magdalene Sisters_ was protested against. _The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys_ was protested against. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/30 "2011-04-03T23:04:19Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Is that a whoosh? _Life of Brian_ was protested against. _The Last Temptation of Christ_ was protested against. \*The DaVinci Code \*was protested against. _The Passion of Christ_ was protested against. _Dogma_ was protested against. _The Golden Compass_ was protested against. _Jesus Christ Superstar_ was protested against. _Religulous_ was protested against. _Goya’s Ghosts_ was protested against. _The Name of the Rose_ was protested against. _The Love Guru_ was protested against. _Saved_ was protested against. _Priest_ was protested against. _Jesus Camp_ was protested against. _The Magdalene Sisters_ was protested against. _The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys_ was protested against. Fair enough. I thought you were implying that atheists would protest films with a pro-religious message. My mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2011, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/31 "2011-04-03T23:09:42Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Fair enough. I thought you were implying that atheists would protest films with a pro-religious message. My mistake. My favorite was some Christians who protested _Footloose_ because they were offended by the movie depicting a Christian as being somebody who’d get offended by popular entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/32 "2011-04-04T02:07:13Z")
If you count the Apocrypha as Scripture then the story of Judith would make one heck of a Biblical epic. Lust, gore, attempted seduction, trickery, and a head hanging on the city wall! ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/33 "2011-04-04T02:17:31Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > My favorite was some Christians who protested _Footloose_ because they were offended by the movie depicting a Christian as being somebody who’d get offended by popular entertainment. Hmm. Did they do it with good humor and style? ---
**Author:** ![slowlearner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@slowlearner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slowlearner)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/34 "2011-04-04T02:47:49Z")
there can be no more ot epics, charlton heston is dead, look how ridiculous gere was as king david. and they’d screw it up with cg, roman soldiers look great in technicolor and panavision. best heston movie The Naked Jungle? army ants treating people like soylent green… ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985/35 "2011-04-04T03:13:13Z")
As Sir Laurence Olivier demonstrated in _Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow_, being dead is no longer a deterent to appearing in a movie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-biblical-epics-and-why-cant-we-do-a-good-one-now/576985.md?page=1)