# Whatever happened to: "Thank You" after a retail purchase ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567 "2011-08-30T01:26:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bri2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/48db29/32.png) [@Bri2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bri2k)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/21 "2011-08-30T21:18:07Z")
I heartily agree with the OP. Being polite and acknowledging others respectfully can make the mundane pleasant. I certainly think less of an establishment where they can’t even offer a base level of good manners. Bri2k ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/22 "2011-08-30T21:20:35Z")
I normally hear the sales person say “thank you”, after I say “thank you”. When did people stop saying “thank you” to retail people for waiting on you? ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/23 "2011-08-30T21:33:21Z")
Round my way, the minimum is two pleasantries each way (“how are you” and “thank you,” or equivalents) per transaction. That’s not counting the small talk required if either of you recognize the other. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/24 "2011-08-30T21:34:44Z")
Most of the places that I go to will thank the customer. Some people will obviously be following a script, while others will seem more natural. I don’t mind scripts, as long as they aren’t too terribly long and are actually part of customer service. For instance, if I go to a beauty salon, and I’m asked if I’ve been there before, that’s a valid question. What I don’t want is a five minute recital on the specials of the day/week. And I really don’t want to know my clerk’s/server’s name. I don’t want to be bestest buddies with him or her. For my part, I say “please” and “thank you” when I make a request and get it filled. And I’m one of those Luddites who are NOT constantly on the phone in some manner when I’m out in public. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/25 "2011-08-30T21:37:33Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I normally hear the sales person say “thank you”, after I say “thank you”. When did people stop saying “thank you” to retail people for waiting on you? I have to agree. Retail workers are no more or less polite than their customers. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/26 "2011-09-01T00:52:00Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I have to agree. Retail workers are no more or less polite than their customers. Exactly what I was coming in to say – I always get a nice thank you (well, mostly) after saying thank you to them. My attitude is that the retailers are the boss – mutually beneficial, but I’m a guest in their store, and certainly not their boss. Could they have me eighty-sixed if they wanted to? Sure! Never happened to me, not even at some bar, but that’s their right, since it’s their store, not mine. Maybe short-sighted to not try to suck the customer’s wang, whenever possible, but it is the way the world works, IME. But the upshot is, be nice to them, they’ll be nice to you, unless they’re raging assholes – but why bother shopping someplace where people are total dickholes behind the counter? ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/27 "2011-09-01T00:55:58Z")
It seems weird to thank someone for allowing you to give them money _before_ they thank you for doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/28 "2011-09-01T01:28:41Z")
Don’t see why – they’re not doing you a favor by letting you come into their store. It’s supposed to be good for both parties, and they are providing a service without which your average folk woould have to shlep across town or hit EBay. Of course, you’re providing them with monetary barter, so it works both ways. Makes sense to me. You could rock-paper-scissors for who goes first in the little social dance, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/29 "2011-09-01T01:56:45Z")
I won’t say that I see it everywhere but most of the time retail clerks thank me. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/30 "2011-09-01T02:09:18Z")
> [@Jaledin](#): > > Don’t see why – they’re not doing you a favor by letting you come into their store. It’s supposed to be good for both parties, and they are providing a service without which your average folk woould have to shlep across town or hit EBay. Of course, you’re providing them with monetary barter, so it works both ways. Makes sense to me. I’m doing them a favor by going into their store. The necessity isn’t equivalent. Under normal circumstances, anything customers buy at a given store they can either get elsewhere (if it’s important) or do without, whereas the store is always, _absolutely_ dependent on customers buying, no two ways about it. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/31 "2011-09-01T04:39:08Z")
The less talk, the better, as far as I’m concerned. I want to get what I need and be out as fast as possible. I \*hate \*shopping. I love self-checkout stations because of the lack of human contact. As long as everyone knows how it works (which is most often, I’ve noticed), it’s much faster because there is no chit chat. Incidentally, the machine always thanks me at the end 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/32 "2011-09-01T04:48:42Z")
Things like ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘Sir’, ‘Miss’, etc., are second nature to me. It’s how I grew up. I wonder if this is a regional thing? Now, some of the young brats and classless acts may not be courteous if I’m in their establishment, but I suppose those aren’t the type of places I typically spend money in. I mean, I say please and thank you and I think I’m pretty friendly, so maybe clerks nowadays respond to what they are given. Or we’re just all losing it. People are awfully rude and they wear pajamas shopping and don’t respect their elders. \ I’m twenty six and I feel old as I type. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/33 "2011-09-01T14:43:13Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > I’m doing them a favor by going into their store. > > The necessity isn’t equivalent. Under normal circumstances, anything customers buy at a given store they can either get elsewhere (if it’s important) or do without, whereas the store is always, _absolutely_ dependent on customers buying, no two ways about it. oh, please. yes, stores are dependent on customers to stay in business. that’s obvious enough. but spare me the whole “i’m doing them a favor” shtick. i mean, do people actually go around saying “self, i am going to grace [local supermarket name here] with my presence, and generously give them the pleasure of accepting my money in exchange for products!”, or do they just say “oh, dude. i need bread” or some variation of such? the attitude displayed in the former really shows a lot of entitlement, which tends to be the kind of customers who are less than pleasant to deal with. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/34 "2011-09-01T16:14:07Z")
I think that **Peremensoe** has inadvertently identified why the pleases and thank-yous are a vanishing animal. What _should_ be the case that trumps all of the “my transaction pays your salary” sentiment (a very near cousin to “the customer is always right” which could have a Pit thread all its own) is that another human being is performing labor for you. When I am in a restaurant, for example, I say thank you whenever my drink is refilled. I say thank you when my food is dropped off and I also say thank you when the check is dropped off too. This is what I was raised to see as basic human courtesy, it costs nothing to do and adds to the overall tone of the whole interaction. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/35 "2011-09-01T16:31:39Z")
I actually think it’s more important for me, the customer, to thank the shop assistant as retail can be such a shitty job with so many rude customers. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/36 "2011-09-01T16:37:31Z")
> [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](#): > > And yes, I agree with \*\*blondebear \*\*-- put the damn phone down and do your job for 30 freaking seconds while I’m conducting a transaction. My money pays your paycheque, no matter how small that cheque might be, so do me the courtesy of making at least a token effort to recognize it. You may then return to discussing whether Jayden and Brianna were totally making out last night or whatever the hell you were killing time on. [/rant] I don’t think I’ve ever seen a shop assistant gassing on their own phone. In most stores in London, it’s store policy to ban phones on the shop floor (for staff). Customers, however, think nothing of chatting on their phone while they thrust products at the shop assistant, giving them barely a glance. Plenty of customers treat shop assistants like they are less than human. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/37 "2011-09-01T16:40:05Z")
I knew a retail clerk who thanked Jesus, audibly, after every transaction. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/38 "2011-09-01T16:51:41Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > I’m doing them a favor by going into their store. > > The necessity isn’t equivalent. Under normal circumstances, anything customers buy at a given store they can either get elsewhere (if it’s important) or do without, whereas the store is always, _absolutely_ dependent on customers buying, no two ways about it. Conversely, no store is dependent on any one customer. The way I see it, I give them money, and they give me goods and/or services. It’s a transaction between equals. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/39 "2011-09-01T17:16:36Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > When I am in a restaurant, for example, I say thank you whenever my drink is refilled. I say thank you when my food is dropped off and I also say thank you when the check is dropped off too. This is what I was raised to see as basic human courtesy, it costs nothing to do and adds to the overall tone of the whole interaction. well, that’s just silly. after all, it’s their job to do those things, and they should do it with a smile and be damned grateful for the opportunity! and woe betide them if they don’t thank you for your patronage… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567/40 "2011-09-01T17:27:26Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I remarked to my husband after leaving that someone would make a fortune if they could bottle and sell your effervescent personality.) I used to go to the Potbelly sandwich shop near my office a lot more often than I do now, because the order-taker girl was just so happy. Not in a fake perky way, but in a way that would brighten your day a little, regardless of what happened. She wasn’t even hot- just moderately attractive, but I actively liked going in there and being able to absorb a little bit of that happiness that was radiated. As to the OP question- I think it depends a lot on the counter person’s personality, how they’re feeling that day, and how they’ve been trained. If they’re well trained, at worst, you’ll get an insincere and half hearted thank you, but most of the time you’ll get a close-enough facsimile of a real thank-you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-thank-you-after-a-retail-purchase/594567.md?page=3)