# Whatever happened to the poor, poor, unicorn? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195 "2009-09-07T20:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Aelita\_Daystar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@Aelita\_Daystar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aelita_Daystar)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/1 "2009-09-07T20:40:40Z")
I am here today to mourn the unicorn… Unicorns need a better image methinks. Unicorns get no respect. Guys aren’t typically willing to touch a unicorn with a ten-foot-pole. Unicorns were once thought of as regal and powerful as I think they should. Now they’ve been reduced to being a thing for “little girls”. I find it to be a sad state of affairs. Unicorns can be cool. Not only do they look great, but they’re just plain awesome. It’s like a horse, but better. They’re magical - okay it varies… sometimes they heal you, sometimes they are resistant to magic, etc. But whatever the case, you probably shouldn’t disrespect a unicorn, it’ll stick you with that horn - it’s a weapon dang you! So, how did this happen anyways? How did such a cool creature end up being thought of so poorly? And when did they start to be seen as “girly” anyways? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/2 "2009-09-07T20:53:27Z")
I suspect it has something to do with the thrashing that he got from the lion, all around the town. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/3 "2009-09-07T20:58:47Z")
> [@Aelita\_Daystar](#): > > And when did they start to be seen as “girly” anyways? For one thing, they can only be touched/tamed by a virgin. ---
**Author:** ![Enigmatus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e79b87/32.png) [@Enigmatus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enigmatus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/4 "2009-09-07T21:03:56Z")
THe unicorn isn’t so badly thought of, it has befallen the poor creature, to be placed in the path of overt commercialism. The most fearsome sort of thuggery, the making of the “all mighty dollar”. Since the Unicorn is as mythical as the Dragon, we have no fear that it’s silver reputation shall be tarnished ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/5 "2009-09-07T21:09:35Z")
At least a significant fraction of the population has a notion of what would be a unicorn (or dragon, though they’d probably get the Western and Eastern versions mixed up). But try finding any fans of griffins… ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/6 "2009-09-07T21:13:23Z")
> [@Aelita\_Daystar](#): > > So, how did this happen anyways? How did such a cool creature end up being thought of so poorly? ['Cos they hid from Noah.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3sZReyBXTA) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/7 "2009-09-07T21:13:44Z")
They’ve been hunted to near-extinction, not for their _horns_, but for their _hides_, used to make seat cushions for Unicycles. Damn circus clowns! That’s _another_ species they’ve wiped out! ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/8 "2009-09-07T21:14:28Z")
I respect invisible pink ones. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/9 "2009-09-07T21:20:31Z")
Jay Leno, on an episode of Top Gear, makes a comment that the automobile saved the horse for people who love horses. But, I think you’ll find that most horse lovers are women. Men moved on with cars and love those. Previous to and including the 19th century, a horse was a major and functional possession of the family, and so within the domain of men. It was a beast for hauling stuff and war, and other manly pursuits. A magical horse would just be even more manly. These days, a horse is for looking beautiful and being warm and cuddly. A magical horse is just going to be moreso. ---
**Author:** ![kitemaker\_chuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a88e4f/32.png) [@kitemaker\_chuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitemaker_chuck)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/10 "2009-09-07T21:22:37Z")
I heard they got horn-swoggled! ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/11 "2009-09-07T21:55:15Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > At least a significant fraction of the population has a notion of what would be a unicorn (or dragon, though they’d probably get the Western and Eastern versions mixed up). But try finding any fans of griffins… Griffins used to be my favorite mythical animals - the only one I really fantasized about having as a kid - what a great means of transportation and terrorizing my enemies, while still being cuddlier than a fire-breathing dragon. > [@Aelita Daystar](#): > > Now they’ve been reduced to being a thing for “little girls”. As has been mentioned, the idea that unicorns could be timed by virgins goes back several hundred years. I always felt it made them seem a little lame. ---
**Author:** ![Trick\_Rider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Trick\_Rider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trick_Rider)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/12 "2009-09-07T22:01:41Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > At least a significant fraction of the population has a notion of what would be a unicorn (or dragon, though they’d probably get the Western and Eastern versions mixed up). But try finding any fans of griffins… Griffins. Are. Awesome. As for unicorns, I have no idea. Maybe because they don’t look quite as intimidating as other fantasy creatures? ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/13 "2009-09-07T22:06:20Z")
The [unicorn](http://www.musee-moyenage.fr/ang/pages/page_id18249_u1l2.htm): pansy of the medieval bestiary. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/14 "2009-09-07T22:08:37Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > But try finding any fans of griffins… [Griffin](http://agoldenworld.files.wordpress.com/2006/04/StewieGriffin2%20400w.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/15 "2009-09-07T22:16:08Z")
Required [Tom Smith](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD1F6902zrw) link. ---
**Author:** ![Aelita\_Daystar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@Aelita\_Daystar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aelita_Daystar)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/16 "2009-09-07T22:29:28Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > …the idea that unicorns could be timed by virgins goes back several hundred years. I always felt it made them seem a little lame. When I was younger I hadn’t thought much of it, but later I started to think it made unicorns sound a little pervy. They hide out in the woods avoiding people unless that it’s a girl who is also a virgin. Sounds a little suspicious. Like dirty old hobos hiding in the woods. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/17 "2009-09-07T22:31:02Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > The [unicorn](http://www.musee-moyenage.fr/ang/pages/page_id18249_u1l2.htm): pansy of the medieval bestiary. It wants to put its long horn into a virgin’s lap. _So_ not pansyish. … now, the one in Zelazny’s Amber series – you know, the one that’s been fighting with a _one-eyed snake_ since forever? Total pansy. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/18 "2009-09-07T22:36:12Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > It wants to put its long horn into a virgin’s lap. _So_ not pansyish. Look again. It’s too busy admiring itself in the mirror. The lion is looking away out of sheer embarrassment. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/19 "2009-09-07T22:40:05Z")
Personally I think that any fantasy creature has a wide open field these days with the over saturation of vampires. Perhaps it’s time for a book targeted to teenage girls featuring a romance between a mary sue and a sparkling unicorn. ETA: That lion in that tapestry is completely embarrassed to be there. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/20 "2009-09-07T22:40:18Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > They’ve been hunted to near-extinction, not for their _horns_, but for their _hides_, used to make seat cushions for Unicycles. > > Damn circus clowns! That’s _another_ species they’ve wiped out! Winner! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195.md?page=2)