# Whatever happened to the poor, poor, unicorn? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195 "2009-09-07T20:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/41 "2009-09-08T05:29:27Z")
Jewel kicked some ass in _The Last Battle_. ---
**Author:** ![wunderkammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@wunderkammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wunderkammer)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/42 "2009-09-08T06:01:36Z")
> [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](#): > > Unicorns… not just for virgins anymore. [Ninjas can ride, too](http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=40&issue=15). Nah, Doc’s totally a virgin. Sure, he spends most of his time saving lives and kicking ass, but the only woman he’s not painfully awkward around is Judy (off-limits as an employee and as a gorilla). Of course, I am quite open to evidence to the contrary (and I’ll be in my bunk). ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/43 "2009-09-08T06:19:13Z")
> [@Just\_Some\_Guy](#): > > And the sequel has a griffin! 🙂 Seriously? I’m still waiting on my copy of Two Hearts.. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/44 "2009-09-08T07:06:18Z")
> [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](#): > > Unicorns… not just for virgins anymore. [Ninjas can ride, too](http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=40&issue=15). Ummm… that _particular_ unicorn has a Pride flag on its head and another one sticking out of its ass. I guess dudes really dig that kinda shit. Well, some dudes, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/45 "2009-09-08T07:08:36Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > For one thing, they can only be touched/tamed by a virgin. What, guys can’t be virgins? Who’da thunk? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/46 "2009-09-08T07:55:17Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > What, guys can’t be virgins? Who’da thunk? 😃 [Nope](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AManIsNotAVirgin), says there, most authoritative source in the world. And by “most authoritative source” I mean “I win the argument by default because you’ll be there for hours and won’t be able to make a rebuttle.” (Also, I think it may be mentioned in that article, didn’t check, “virgin” originally explicitly applied to females and then sort of dropped the exclusivity later, but that’s not as funny :p). ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/47 "2009-09-08T08:13:56Z")
Ha ha! Fool! [TV Tropes has already ruined my life,](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife) so your attack is ineffective! ---
**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/48 "2009-09-08T23:02:14Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Ummm… that _particular_ unicorn has a Pride flag on its head and another one sticking out of its ass. > I guess dudes really dig that kinda shit. Well, some dudes, anyway. It’s a rainbow. [And Doc is secure enough in his masculinity to not care.](http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=14&issue=15) So boo. ---
**Author:** ![Gcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gcat)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/49 "2009-09-09T18:36:42Z")
> [@Flutterby](#): > > Seriously? > > I’m still waiting on my copy of Two Hearts.. Did you order the audio book of The Last Unicorn, like I did? It’s been so long, I can’t remember how many years ago I ordered it. _L_ ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/50 "2009-09-09T20:50:00Z")
[They look fine to me.](http://www.threadless.com/product/157/Afternoon_Delight) I live in the Castro, though, so my perspective may be warped. ---
**Author:** ![Pithy\_Moniker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8dc957/32.png) [@Pithy\_Moniker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pithy_Moniker)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/51 "2009-09-09T21:17:26Z")
Maybe if they all looked more like [this](http://www.androidjones.com/images/portfolio_o6/unicorn_of_the_pocylipse_we.jpg) they’d start getting more respect. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/52 "2009-09-09T22:09:25Z")
I think Robot Chicked made a good case: WARNING! Nude action figure and “Magical Unicorn Mayonnaise” reference. Viewer discretion advised! [\*Robot Chicken \*Unicorn Sketch](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHVPB04TaoU&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo%2Egoogle%2Ecom%2Fvideosearch%3Fhl%3Den%26source%3Dhp%26q%3D%2522robot%2520chicken%2522%2520unicorn%2520sketch%26um%3D1%26ie%3DUTF%2D8%26sa%3DN%26tab%3Dwv&feature=player_embedded) ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/53 "2009-09-09T23:57:42Z")
> [@Gcat](#): > > Did you order the audio book of The Last Unicorn, like I did? > It’s been so long, I can’t remember how many years ago I ordered it. _L_ Yes, yes I did. And I have realized I really should inform them of my change of address! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/54 "2009-09-10T05:28:40Z")
Not looking too good here… [http://www.metmuseum.org/explore/Unicorn/hunt\_unicorn\_transcript\_11.htm](http://www.metmuseum.org/explore/Unicorn/hunt_unicorn_transcript_11.htm) DOH! [http://www.metmuseum.org/explore/Unicorn/hunt\_unicorn\_transcript\_16.htm](http://www.metmuseum.org/explore/Unicorn/hunt_unicorn_transcript_16.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/55 "2009-09-10T09:31:44Z")
Uni-corn [http://zuill.us/andreablog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/uni-corn-lrg1.jpg](http://zuill.us/andreablog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/uni-corn-lrg1.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/56 "2009-09-10T16:15:52Z")
[Unicorn Power!](http://www.pbfcomics.com/archive_b/PBF103-Nice_Shirt.gif) Hey, lookit that – you can actually [get the shirt](http://www.pbfcomics.com/things.php?link=shirts) now! ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/57 "2009-09-10T17:15:59Z")
Unicorns have experienced a lack of respect since they survived the flood **without** getting on the ark. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/58 "2009-09-10T19:10:15Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Once I had to fight a pissed off Unicorn in D&D… > > Yeah, not so girly. Just ask the gaping wounds in my body and the stupid self healing abilities. Tell us the story! Tell us the story! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/59 "2009-09-16T04:10:56Z")
If you really like unicorns AND you’re a dude with some class: [http://store.metmuseum.org/Ties/Unicorn-Tapestry-Tie-/invt/unicorntie](http://store.metmuseum.org/Ties/Unicorn-Tapestry-Tie-/invt/unicorntie) ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195/60 "2009-09-16T14:05:41Z")
What happened to unicorns? They are stuck-up, full-of-themselves bastards, that’s what. [http://www.fupenguin.com/2009/03/at-least-i-exist-pretty-boy.html](http://www.fupenguin.com/2009/03/at-least-i-exist-pretty-boy.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-the-poor-poor-unicorn/509195.md?page=2)