# Whatever happened to You're Welcome? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2011, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229 "2011-05-09T03:05:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/81 "2011-05-12T14:04:27Z")
> [@colonial](#): > > This is completely reversed. > > “No problem” is what conveys the idea of a huge favor, and it carries with it > the added baggage that it might conceivably be a “problem” for you to take > my money. > > It could not possibily be a “problem” for you to do your job right, so there is no > reason to allude to the possibility you might be doing it wrong. Why doesn’t “You’re welcome” carry the added baggage that you might not really be welcome? Posts like this make me want to say nothing but “No problem” to “Thank you.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/82 "2011-05-12T15:00:26Z")
> [@colonial](#): > > If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, and that goes for the etiquette that was standard when I was growing up. How’s that curtsey thing workin for ya? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/83 "2011-05-12T15:02:47Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Of course they do. It’s even in this very thread. Also, _pas de quoi_. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/84 "2011-05-12T15:40:00Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Also, _pas de quoi_. Hmm. I could swear I was told, by a French woman who was helping me learn a few phrases, that French had no “you’re welcome”. I learned “merci” and “merci beau coup (sp?)” but I asked her about “you’re welcome”. Could she have meant that it is generally unnecessary to say it?😕 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/85 "2011-05-12T15:44:21Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hmm. I could swear I was told, by a French woman who was helping me learn a few phrases, that French had no “you’re welcome”. I learned “merci” and “merci beau coup (sp?)” but I asked her about “you’re welcome”. > > Could she have meant that it is generally unnecessary to say it?😕 I have no idea. I speak from the deep well of wisdom that transpires from having taken high school French some 40 odd years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/86 "2011-05-12T15:45:16Z")
Does German have a “You’re welcome”? I remember taking it in college but never learning it… ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/87 "2011-05-12T16:05:36Z")
I don’t think this is new. I recall someone decribing the endless set of 'thank you’s that could be generated by a simple encounter in polite English society of the past. The phrase ‘thank you’ isn’t just an expression of gratitude, it’s can be a simple acknowledgement, a response meaning the same as ‘your welcome’, an polite form of interjection, or even a sarcastic response that where the word ‘thanks’ is substituted for something else. I also find inappropriate florid use ‘thank you’ on the rise, which makes me feel uneasy using ‘your welcome’ as a response, so ‘no problem’ or echoing ‘thank you’ back makes more sense than sounding like I’ve actually done anything to be thanked for. Back to the sarcastic side, I spent a year in CA in the 80’s, and got my first exposure to the ubiquitous ‘have a nice day’. It didn’t take long to realize it meant something entirely different. I prefer the crass honesty of the east coast. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/88 "2011-05-12T16:58:44Z")
> [@colonial](#): > > “No problem” is what conveys the idea of a huge favor, and it carries with it… > > …the added baggage that it might conceivably be a “problem” for you to take > my money. > > It could not possibily be a “problem” for you to do your job right, so there is no > reason to allude to the possibility you might be doing it wrong… In addition to Freud’s point, that ‘you’re welcome’ could be twisted to imply that there exists such a situation where one might\* not \*be welcome, there is also the need to break this to you… Yes, there exists a situation where taking your money might be a problem. Plenty of problems can present themselves during a business transaction. But Meyer was happily letting the customer know that indeed there was no problem at all to serve her. The people who object to ‘you’re welcome’ are also throwing me off with that. As has been pointed out already, it implies that one is totally and completely welcome to anything. That is a pretty nice sentiment. As for me, I’m one of those hams who likes to lay it on extra thick and say, “The pleasure was all mine” or something equally ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/89 "2011-05-12T17:55:32Z")
> [@colonial](#): > > As far as retail goes I did about six months duty in a curb market at about > minum wage plus 50 cents or a dollar. Again, craziness was not a problem, > and in that job I saw more drunks (since I always worked at night) than > most other retail. Then again, I was careful to thank each customer no > matter how small the purchase was, and it may not have hurt that I always > said “you’re welcome” or “thank _you_” in reply to a customer’s thanks. If you saw no craziness whatsoever during your stint in retail, consider yourself extremely lucky. The vast majority of my customers were just fine, but a few were utterly batshit, and if you search for threads titled things like “crazy customer stories” you’ll see that that’s not unusual. Also, you sometimes said “thank _you_” in response to their thanks? Isn’t that completely crass and classless and all-round terrible in your world view? > [@](#): > > If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, and that goes for the etiquette that was > standard when I was growing up. It also goes for transmongrification > in language changes, where tawdriness attains status it does not deserve. So, is it just the etiquette of your young years that is the undisputed ‘right’ etiquette? What about your fathers etiquette, or his fathers? Do you follow the etiquette rules of the 19th century? Why not? ---
**Author:** ![colonial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/90 "2011-05-12T20:49:11Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Why doesn’t “You’re welcome” carry the added baggage that you might not really be welcome? No, and I am curious to learn how you could possibly think so. “You” carries no baggage, ditto “are” ditto “welcome”. > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Posts like this make me want to say nothing but “No problem” to “Thank you.” Posts like yours, which interpret language in a sort of perverted newage newspeak, so that words mean the opposite of what they have meant for ccenturies make me want to throw up. That is, on the next person I hear say “no problem”. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/91 "2011-05-12T20:55:52Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Does German have a “You’re welcome”? I remember taking it in college but never learning it… It is the same as “please”, i.e. “bitte”. At least that is what I learned. There may be other variations. ---
**Author:** ![colonial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/92 "2011-05-12T21:00:43Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > If you saw no craziness whatsoever during your stint in retail, consider yourself extremely lucky. The vast majority of my customers were just fine, but a few were utterly batshit, and if you search for threads titled things like “crazy customer stories” you’ll see that that’s not unusual. Yeah, lucky me. > [@Meyer6](#): > > Also, you sometimes said “thank _you_” in response to their thanks? Isn’t that completely crass and classless and all-round terrible in your world view? No. Why should it? I really wish you, that Freudian Slippry guy and several others would get over this newage newspeak shit of yours. > [@Meyer6](#): > > So, is it just the etiquette of your young years that is the undisputed ‘right’ etiquette? What about your fathers etiquette, or his fathers? Do you follow the etiquette rules of the 19th century? Why not? As a matter of fact, I doubt good manners have changed much since my father’s time, and since the 19th century. It may be that the bad manners actuallty started with the “do your thing” mantra of my late 60s early 70s youth (even though “No Problem” had not yet reared its ugly head. Frankly I think too many of my generation gave up on any sensible semblance of discipline for their children, including teaching them basic manners, and the scandalous divorce rate did not help either. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/93 "2011-05-12T21:21:19Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Yelling at a shop worker and telling them that all young people are terrible and rude and that their mother obviously didn’t raise them right is so wildly out of proportion to the ‘crime’ of not using the right phrase that I am amazed anyone would defend those actions. Or recommend that the correct course of action is for the worker to then suck up to the customer and grovel for their forgiveness. Believe me, very few people are such special customers that a store needs to put up with that kind of abuse of its employees. I agree. It was disappointing when I worked for giant chains and they allowed customers to be assholes and gave them what they wanted. It set a bad precedent IMO. Later I got to work for small independent operations and when people were jerks we got to show them the door. When customers got unruly the staff liked to come get me because I remained polite but told them in direct terms that rude and insulting behavior was not tolerated. They either calmed down and we resolved a problem like adults, or they left. I had a lovely older gent who does instrument repairs talk to me about firing customers. There are times you know a customer is more trouble than they’re worth. They will consistently complain and try to get something. It’s okay to not do business with them. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/94 "2011-05-12T21:33:58Z")
> [@colonial](#): > > As a matter of fact, I doubt good manners have changed much since > my father’s time, and since the 19th century. It may be that the bad > manners actuallty started with the “do your thing” mantra of my late > 60s early 70s youth (even though “No Problem” had not yet reared its > ugly head. > > Frankly I think too many of my generation gave up on any sensible > semblance of discipline for their children, including teaching them > basic manners, and the scandalous divorce rate did not help either. The goal of etiquette is to lubricate the wheels of society so that we can all get along together in peace and harmony. This means that yes it would be polite of the checkout clerk to say you’re welcome when you say thank you. But this is a two way street and it is your job as well to not get all huffy if they say no problem or no worries or cheers. The word doesn’t actually matter as much as the intent and when you make a stink about it, you are being just as rude or even ruder than they are. Also, are you seriously blaming the divorce rate? Yeah, I’m sure that’s where the problem is. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/95 "2011-05-12T22:28:08Z")
> [@colonial](#): > > No, and I am curious to learn how you could possibly think so. > “You” carries no baggage, ditto “are” ditto “welcome”. OK, so \*why \*does “No problem” carry any baggage? “No” = no baggage. “Problem” = no baggage. Yes, conceivably there could be situations where it is a problem. Why is that so offensive to you? You could apply the exact same logic and say, “It should be obvious that I’m welcome to ask for a favor.” Why is “No problem” fraught with issues when “You’re welcome” isn’t? > [@](#): > > Posts like yours, which interpret language in a sort of perverted newage > newspeak, so that words mean the opposite of what they have meant > for ccenturies make me want to throw up. That is, on the next person > I hear say “no problem”. How am I perverting language? I’m applying the same standards to one phrase that you applied to another. ---
**Author:** ![Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fake_Tales_of_San_Francisco)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/96 "2011-05-12T22:51:17Z")
> [@colonial](#): > > The connotative meaning is exactly the thing I object to in “no problem”. Well, that’s why I find it so funny. There really is no problem with having no problem. I also like no worries. > [@colonial](#): > > I really wish you, that Freudian Slippry guy and several others would get over this newage newspeak shit of yours. It’s very interesting that you’re lecturing people about manners, and talking to them like this at the same time. But anyway. The sentiment and general understanding of ‘you’re welcome’ and ‘no problem’ is more or less identical, apart from the formality of the phrases. I know it isn’t for you, and probably a few others who are stuck in the past, but unfortunately for you English isn’t a dead language, it is changing. You have to change with it, or you’ll just get het up over really silly inconsequential things like this. Just have a gay old time! ---
**Author:** ![Mariemarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Mariemarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariemarie)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/97 "2011-05-13T00:39:20Z")
French equivalents of “you’re welcome” I have heard: _Pas de tout._ _Je vous en prie_, followed by _A votre service_. The second one was an example in a French text book many many years ago. I do not like “not a problem” as a substitute for “you’re welcome” in many cases, especially from telephone customer service representatives who have put me on hold a dozen times before they’ve been able to correct a wrong-item-shipped/ double-billed/never-received situation. CS rep: “Thank you for holding. We’re going to refund the extra charge and send you the correct item. Your RMA number is 12345.” Me: “Thank you.” CS rep: “NOT a problem!” As if to imply that by saying “thank you” I was apologizing for causing them such a hassle by asking them to deal with their company’s mistake and making them put me on hold for 20 minutes. No, dickhead, say “you’re welcome-- thank _you_ for the opportunity to fix the mistake”. Sheesh. But then I’m old-ish. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/98 "2011-05-13T00:54:28Z")
> [@Mariemarie](#): > > … No, dickhead, say "you’re welcome-- thank _you_ **for the opportunity to fix the mistake".** > Sheesh. > But then I’m old-ish. Bolding mine. Geezus Krist, you folks require some groveling, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Mariemarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Mariemarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariemarie)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/99 "2011-05-13T00:59:23Z")
Damn right, and get off my my lawn, whippersnapper. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229/100 "2011-05-13T01:07:33Z")
Okay **colonial** , just to be clear, you think ‘you’re welcome’, ideally accompanied by a dainty little curtsy probably, is the \*only \*acceptable response to ‘thank you’. You specifically said that it is the \*only \*reply with class: > [@colonial](#): > > […] it is a cheap-sounding > cheap-feeling tawdry substitute “you’re welcome” which is the only > reply with any class. But then you say: > [@colonial](#): > > […] I always > said “you’re welcome” or “thank _you_” in reply to a customer’s thanks. So you’re going against your earlier statement because now you are saying that there are other acceptable responses - namely ‘thank _you_’. But: > [@Meyer6](#): > > you sometimes said “thank _you_” in response to their thanks? Isn’t that completely crass and classless and all-round terrible in your world view? > [@colonial](#): > > No. Why should it? Now it’s ‘shit’ for me to take you at your word that absolutely nothing but ‘you’re welcome’ is acceptable. Why is it okay to change the ‘proper’ etiquette phrase when you want to, but not when the other person in the conversation wants to? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-happened-to-youre-welcome/581229.md?page=6)