# Whatever you do, don't fart. TMI!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2011, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296 "2011-05-18T09:21:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/1 "2011-05-18T09:21:18Z")
I’m booked for a colonoscopy tomorrow, so today (apart from fasting) had to take some weird preparation stuff that makes you shit, lots. Feeling that old familiar feeling in my butt, I toddled off to the toilet for a spell, then again a few minutes later for a similar experience. But another two minutes after that, I had a mild sensation…so I gave a wee fart. ☹ Not a good idea AT ALL. Whatever you do, when your bowel is full of junky stuff that the doctors think is a good idea…don’t fart, OK? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/2 "2011-05-18T10:05:24Z")
A wise piece of advice. I’m sure **lieu** will be along shortly to confirm this fact. 😃 Since this is in the realm of TMI (realm, hell, this thread is in TMI’s living room!) I’ll share this. Last time I had a colonoscopy my doctor gave me a few adult diapers, I forget the pc term for those right now, to wear as needed. I did wear one to bed that night. It helped. Before this post, only one person other than the doctor knew this. Now _Teeming Millions_ know! ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/3 "2011-05-18T10:22:34Z")
Good luck with the procedure Kambuckta. The prep is the worst part I think. Farting or no. ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/4 "2011-05-18T11:11:16Z")
This is a choice moment to introduce the Dave Barry article on his own colonoscopy experience… [http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/129257-news-hound-dave-barrys-colonoscopy-journal-non-political-humor.html](http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/129257-news-hound-dave-barrys-colonoscopy-journal-non-political-humor.html) > [@](#): > > Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis… Been there, done that. Twice. And women talk about having babies…ppfftt 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/5 "2011-05-18T11:35:47Z")
Well, at least until you have the actual colonoscopy. At that point you habve eliminated virtually everything in your colon, and they use inert gas to distend the colon, so they can see. At that point, farting is essential. It’s damned near mandatory, in fact. But you can take solace in the fact that you will be releasing Inert Gas. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/6 "2011-05-18T12:20:13Z")
May I present for your entertainment, [the Picolax thread](http://www.singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/) Enjoy 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/7 "2011-05-18T12:30:32Z")
Kambuckta, I feel for you. It’s a good thing I like to read, because the toilet was too far from the TV the time they did the same thing to me. And yes, after the sigmoidoscopy, I let a 22 second fart out in the car. I think one could actually see me getting smaller. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/8 "2011-05-18T13:17:02Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Kambuckta, I feel for you. It’s a good thing I like to read, because the toilet was too far from the TV the time they did the same thing to me. > > And yes, after the sigmoidoscopy, I let a 22 second fart out in the car. I think one could actually see me getting smaller. Not very many posts make me laugh audibly, but this one did. mmm ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/9 "2011-05-18T13:25:28Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > But you can take solace in the fact that you will be releasing Inert Gas. Inert schminert. I bet it still smells like ass. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/10 "2011-05-18T13:30:25Z")
“So you think you’re so good that your farts don’t stink?” “Well, one time, in 1960, for 20 minutes…” ---
**Author:** ![Mikkel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikkel/32/13151_2.png) [@Mikkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikkel)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/11 "2011-05-18T13:58:31Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Inert schminert. I bet it still smells like ass. I didn’t actually try trapping and smelling them, but the nurses assured me that they wouldn’t smell, since the intestines were clean. I went to and home from the hospital by bus. I were very grateful for the diapers I was given for the trip out. I had drunk the last dose two hours before the twenty minutes trip. They had told me \*not \*to take the car, since they might give me something which made it illegal to drive for twenty-four hours. When I went home, in rush-hour traffic, I tried holding the farts for when the bus accelerated :p. I don’t think the beautiful young lady sitting beside me heard or smelled anything. She sat there still when I got off the bus. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/12 "2011-05-18T14:01:33Z")
Wow, here they will not allow you to go home by bus. You have to have someone to look after you (or be with you) for around 24 hours. In my experience anyway. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/13 "2011-05-18T15:05:50Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Wow, here they will not allow you to go home by bus. You have to have someone to look after you (or be with you) for around 24 hours. In my experience anyway. When I had mine, not only did I not get anaesthetic, and stay there for 24 hours, I got up and drove myself to work. Seriously – that was one of my doctor’s selling points – I could go straight on to work afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/14 "2011-05-18T15:24:57Z")
> [@Ken001](#): > > This is a choice moment to introduce the Dave Barry article on his own colonoscopy experience… > > [http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/129257-news-hound-dave-barrys-colonoscopy-journal-non-political-humor.html](http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/129257-news-hound-dave-barrys-colonoscopy-journal-non-political-humor.html) > > Been there, done that. Twice. And women talk about having babies…ppfftt 😉 I’ve had a colonscopy (including the prep) and I’ve had a baby. If I have my druthers, I’d rather have the colonoscopy. And this COMPLETELY leaves aside the fact that I never wanted kids in any case. Colonoscopies are a walk in the park compared to the childbirth that I had. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/15 "2011-05-18T16:40:51Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > I’m booked for a colonoscopy tomorrow, so today (apart from fasting) had to take some weird preparation stuff that makes you shit, lots. > > Feeling that old familiar feeling in my butt, I toddled off to the toilet for a spell, then again a few minutes later for a similar experience. But another two minutes after that, I had a mild sensation…so I gave a wee fart. ☹ > > Not a good idea AT ALL. Whatever you do, when your bowel is full of junky stuff that the doctors think is a good idea…don’t fart, OK? > > 😉 Oh dear. I went through that fun experience last summer (and get to repeat it again this year - aren’t I lucky?) and I knew to NOT risk anything if I was not on the toilet. Any urge, and I ran to the bathroom before attempting any relief. A related hint: do NOT put the toilet lid down. Even that brief delay to lift the lid is… problematic. :smack:. **Typo Knig** also had to go through this last fall. I saw him right after he drank the goo, regularly dressed (zip/button slacks and belt). I ordered him to change to elastic-waist shorts. He thanked me, later. The biggest annoyance? You sit on the pot, crapping out stuff you swear you ate 10 years ago… and figure you’ll sit there until the next round hits. But nooooooo - your body refuses to take advantage of the fact that you’re already where you need to be… instead, it stubbornly REFUSES to act… until you’ve gotten 10 feet or more from the toilet. Doesn’t matter if you sit there for 30 seconds or 30 minutes. :mad:. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/16 "2011-05-18T16:43:39Z")
> [@Ken001](#): > > … > Been there, done that. Twice. And women talk about having babies…ppfftt 😉 No, “ppfftt” is what your body says after the colonoscopy. “AARRRGHHH I’M GONNA KILL YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH” is what you say during childbirth. Afterward, you say “GO TO SLEEP DAMMIT!”. 2 kids, failed epidurals both times (one with a c-section, yay) and I’ll take the colonoscopy any time. I’d probably even prefer the colonoscopy if I went through it unmedicated. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/17 "2011-05-18T17:06:23Z")
Yeah, nothing like getting sucker punched by the colon of death. I think Norman Mailer said it best… _“Keep a tight asshole.”_ **Kambuckta** , the only scary part of the procedure is afterwards when they roll you into a recovery room with a bunch of other patients that likewise had prodigious volumes of air shot up their butt. It’s a bit like being in a hunting camp where everyone’s loaded for bear and they all start doing tequila shots. Oh yeah, and no cherry or strawberry jello unless you want to see your doctor get his freak on. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/18 "2011-05-18T17:51:26Z")
Happened to me too when I got food poisoning. Had to secretly throw away that pair of underwear ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/19 "2011-05-18T17:55:12Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Whatever you do, don’t fart. [Butch Hobson to Rich Dauer.](http://forum.sportsmogul.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=10614&d=1189802416) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296/20 "2011-05-18T17:59:15Z")
It probably wouldn’t be a very good one to try and light either. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whatever-you-do-dont-fart-tmi/582296.md?page=2)