# What's a Player and What's a Hater? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 9, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864 "2011-06-09T16:08:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/21 "2011-06-10T14:56:04Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > A player is a successful person. Normally in reference to prowess with the opposite sex, but it can extend to income, profession, acquisitions, etc. > > A hater is someone who’s jealous of a player, or at least that’s how it’s used - as an accusation. In other words, pretend I’m a successful rapper and you dislike my music. I’ll simply call you a “hater,” thereby sidestepping your critique of my musical talent by decreeing that your criticism stems from jealousy of my success. Just wanted to say, this is an excellent explanation of both terms. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/22 "2011-06-10T15:32:03Z")
Here’s one interpretation. A variation on BigT’s post. A player might be a guy who uses all those sleazy tricks to “get women”. Things like treat em poorly. Make a date then just don’t show up. Never apologize for anything. All kinds of things the player would NOT do to his friends or family. He does this on the theory that it works (and IME it does for certain classes of women). Then you got the haters. One motivation is that they are just jealous as BigT and others have pointed out. But the haters can be hating not so much for the success but for the methods used. And that doesnt seem that out of line to me. Don’t you dislike it when someone gets ahead using methods you’d never do because they are immoral? I mean damn, not only did they get away with being shits, they got REWARDED for it! So you might have guy thats a player. Finally, some woman, maybe even one that his system works on, gives him hell for treating women like shit. And his response might well be “hate the game, not the player”. He may or may not like using the system but his point is that unfortunately to him it appears to work, so don’t blame him for using it. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/23 "2011-06-10T18:22:21Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > All of that said, I always wonder why people pretend not to understand anything slang, as if that makes them oh so above it all. Not referencing the OP now, but Dio with the whole wide-eyed, “I know ghetto kids I used to teach would make strange sounds about not hating the player but hating the game. I have no idea what that could mean!” > > The fuck outta here. Oh snaps! Thanks for the laugh. I seriously almost died in my chair. > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > But here’s a protip about slang: By the time a popular rapper is\* naming his song\* a slangy phrase, it is already OLD as fuck on the street. So by the time Ice made that shit, it was played out. This is true with the exception (for me) of the term “bling.” I’d never heard of it until that song --by who was it? Juvenile or somebody like that?-- “Bling Bling” came out in the late 90s or so. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/24 "2011-06-10T19:01:43Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > You ol’ playa you! > For people who have never heard ‘Don’t hate the playa, hate the game’ outside of pick up artists, it helps to remember that in the 'hood, every damn thing is the ‘game’. Seriously. It is an \*extremely \*common expression. If you are in sales, that’s the game. If you are a rapper, that’s the game. If you are a drug dealer, that’s the game. If you are a pimp, that is the game. If you are a hustler, prostitute, robber, etc, it’s all the game. Ghetto [Realpolitik](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Realpolitik) (wiki link), reduced to pickup banter or wannabe slang. Oy. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/25 "2011-06-10T21:59:02Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I remember this “playa Hater” stuff from when I was a teacher. From what I was able to gather, a “playa” was apparently a young man who had success with women, but was not exclusive, and often had an insensitive or blase attitude about these women. A “playa hater” was a person who was critical of this lifestyle, especially of the propensity to string women along and be unfaithful to them. This cricism was responded to with the suggestion that the “hater” was “just jealous,” and ‘just be trippin’" because the playa had something that the hater did not have. Plays also made the argument that one should not hate the playa, but hate the game, whatever that means. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game” means “do not blame persons more successful in a given endeavor than you for your lack of skill.” Which is true as far as it goes. I also take mild issue with your definition of player hater. In my experience it’s typically used to describe people envious of haters, not those critical of their choices. When I was in college, I had a friend, “Patrick,” who thought I was a stud because I got laid more than he. But I wasn’t really a stud; I just asked out more girls than he did. Out mutual friend “Frank” thought I was a creep to the girls I dated, and eventually dumped me as a friend because he disapproved of me. Patrick was a player hater; Frank was not. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/26 "2011-06-17T15:23:31Z")
Anytime someone makes a comment about a difference in ages between two members of a romantic couple, that’s a hater. It’s just envy. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/27 "2011-06-17T15:25:56Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Anytime someone makes a comment about a difference in ages between two members of a romantic couple, that’s a hater. It’s just envy. My wife’s a lot younger than me, but nonetheless I don’t think what you wrote is necessarily true. There’s lots of legitimate reasons to be concerned or dismayed, particularly if you’re friends with the younger party. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/28 "2011-06-17T17:32:42Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > For people who have never heard ‘Don’t hate the playa, hate the game’ outside of pick up artists, it helps to remember that in the 'hood, every damn thing is the ‘game’. Seriously. It is an \*extremely \*common expression. If you are in sales, that’s the game. If you are a rapper, that’s the game. If you are a drug dealer, that’s the game. If you are a pimp, that is the game. If you are a hustler, prostitute, robber, etc, it’s all the game. And need I point out that everybody in this thread has just lost The Game? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/29 "2011-06-17T18:52:42Z")
I’m not a player. I just crush a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/30 "2011-06-17T19:41:48Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > And yet African Americans seem to woefully underepresented in the game show host industry… You’ve never seen Let’s Make a Deal or Family Feud? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/31 "2011-06-17T20:14:34Z")
That’s two. Does that constitute a refutation of underrepresentation? ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/32 "2011-06-17T21:01:13Z")
Well, it was a joke. But those are both popular syndicated game shows shown on real networks during the day (as opposed to cable crap like Lingo). How many syndicated network TV game shows are there? Probably 20 or 30. So, yes, underrepresented but maybe not by all that much (if you want to crudely extrapolate percentage of population equaling representation). It would be nice to have more diverse game show hosts (most are made up of old orange skin and botox as far as I can tell) as well as having a less humiliating outlet for Wayne Brady’s talents. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864/33 "2011-06-18T01:04:34Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Then you got the haters. One motivation is that they are just jealous as BigT and others have pointed out. But the haters can be hating not so much for the success but for the methods used. And that doesnt seem that out of line to me. Don’t you dislike it when someone gets ahead using methods you’d never do because they are immoral? I mean damn, not only did they get away with being shits, they got REWARDED for it! Let me preface this by saying that I am very, very white, both literally (pale complexion) and figuratively. I have zero street cred. If there is such a thing as _negative_ street cred then that’s what I’ve got. That said, my understanding of the term “hater” is that a hater is motivated by envy or spite. It may not always be clear whether someone accused of being a hater is in fact a true hater, but a hater by definition does not have pure motives. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-player-and-whats-a-hater/584864.md?page=1)