# What's a polite way to say: "Please don't text me"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 9, 2012, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144 "2012-09-09T00:04:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/21 "2012-09-09T07:03:57Z")
I dont text and I have set up my phone to not receive them. When asked I say “I got a lot of Spam texts there for a while and had to disable texting on this phone, I think you understand.” Texting is stupid anyway. Either call or send a email. ---
**Author:** ![Jake\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Jake\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Jones)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/22 "2012-09-09T07:06:20Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > “But people text these days.” Well, I guess, but no one I know does. Not to me, not to each other. Yes, I see people (mostly kids) doing it all over the place. Me and my buds, we e-mail, we call, we meet for lunch. But we don’t text. (And that word “texted” would put me off if I ever did want to “text”.) > [@Chimera](#): > > “I don’t” > > Hell, I watch my 14 year old nephew exchanging 1-2 word texts with his friends and think “I wonder how long that would last if he had to pay 20 cents apiece for those conversational masterpieces…” You both come across as a bit antiquated. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Sincerely, I don’t have a problem with your choices. But to imply that text messaging (if that’s more palatable than [texting](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/texting)) is only an activity for children is not only wrong, it reinforces my opinion that your view of the world is antiquated. > [@GreasyJack](#): > > I don’t have text plan, but have figured most months I end up ahead. It doesn’t bother me at all to exchange texts with my friends who have old-style phones, but I really don’t understand why my friends with smartphones are still using SMS when IM works virtually exactly the same way and is free. I say it’s the texters who are the Luddites, not the textophobes. Disagree. Text messaging and IM are not the same thing. Text messaging is, by design, asynchronous. Instant messaging is, by design and name, synchronous. Sure, you can bastardize either technology and treat it like the other, but the fact remains that text and IM both continue to exist because they have discrete purposes and functions. > [@Flyer](#): > > If you want to communicate through the written word, send an email or a fax. Quit pretending that your phone is a typewriter. > > I never send texts, and, except for unusual situations, I hate receiving texts. A phone is for CALLING people. An acquaintance once sent me a text, and I flat-out told him “Don’t do that again.” > > When I become Dictator of the World, I will ban the sale of cell phones that can do **anything** other than making and receiving calls. If you want to do something other than a phone call, you shouldn’t be using a phone. > > And just for the record, I’m 33. This is just over the top. I’m not even sure if you’re being serious. Why would you use a computer or a telephone when you could just write a letter on parchment with your quill and inkwell, or ride to your neighbor’s house on your horse to speak with them in person? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/23 "2012-09-09T07:24:18Z")
I once tried “stop sending me this bullshit”, but it didn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/24 "2012-09-09T09:55:46Z")
> [@manila](#): > > What wait, you pay to receive a text? Is it free for the sender? > > Texting is 1 peso per text in Philippines and only to the sender. What is the justification for charging the recipient? Same in the U.K., it seems bizarre charging the recipient. ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/25 "2012-09-09T10:34:08Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > Same in the U.K., it seems bizarre charging the recipient. Yeah, especially since they can’t do anything about it. You can choose not to answer a call (although incoming calls are also free in Germany and pretty much anywhere else I’ve heard), but you can’t choose not to receive a text. Truly bizarre. You don’t get charged for receiving a letter, right? (Also, 0.20$ + 0.20$ is almost as much as a letter! :eek:) ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/26 "2012-09-09T11:16:30Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > If you want to communicate through the written word, send an email or a fax. Quit pretending that your phone is a typewriter. Typewriter? What’s that? ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/27 "2012-09-09T12:26:10Z")
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to just say you get charged for receiving texts so you’d prefer another method of communication. The reason people text instead of calling is it’s not the same thing. For most people, receiving a text is much less of an inconvenience than getting a call. If you’re driving, talking with someone else, working or just not around your phone a text is not a disturbance and it can be read later. I only call if it’s something that requires a conversation or a quick answer. I also find it quite annoying when someone calls me when I can’t answer and forces me to call voice mail or call them back to find out what they wanted. Why can’t they just send me a text so I know whether I need to call them back or if I just need to buy milk on the way home? I see a phone call as “TALK TO ME NOW! TALK TO ME NOW!” and a text as “When you’ve got a moment…”. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/28 "2012-09-09T12:32:02Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > I don’t think it’s unreasonable to just say you get charged for receiving texts so you’d prefer another method of communication. > > The reason people text instead of calling is it’s not the same thing. For most people, receiving a text is much less of an inconvenience than getting a call. If you’re driving, talking with someone else, working or just not around your phone a text is not a disturbance and it can be read later. I only call if it’s something that requires a conversation or a quick answer. I also find it quite annoying when someone calls me when I can’t answer and forces me to call voice mail or call them back to find out what they wanted. Why can’t they just send me a text so I know whether I need to call them back or if I just need to buy milk on the way home? I see a phone call as “TALK TO ME NOW! TALK TO ME NOW!” and a text as “When you’ve got a moment…”. I have to say that this makes sense. Since I don’t have that kind of life where there are things I need to know quickly when I can’t answer the phone, I don’t need texts, but I can certainly understand the thinking. That’s why I generally e-mail people when I just want to stay in touch instead of calling, since e-mail is not interrupting something. I do have to say, though, that I resent the term “antiquated” almost as much as someone earlier resented the term “children”. So I will stop shaking my cane at you kids today if you will stop calling me grandma. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/29 "2012-09-09T12:38:44Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Typewriter? What’s that? It’s an ancient form of word processing. But that’s not important right now. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/30 "2012-09-09T12:48:31Z")
We don’t have a text plan and I have a very basic phone (no camera, no big screen, no keyboard) that makes texting a pain in the patoot. Fortunately, almost no one has the number, and when I’ve called the provider to complain about unsolicited texts from businesses to my phone, they’ve canceled the charges. My husband texts once in a very great while - usually to our daughter - and I don’t think we’ve crossed the $2 threshold yet. I don’t like it, but what ya gonna do? I’m not a fan of texting - can you tell? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/31 "2012-09-09T12:51:06Z")
So in the US you pay extra to use your phone for text messages? Don’t tell me there is something we Aussies aren’t getting screwed with. Every plan I have ever had includes SMS messages in the monthly spend. Some include hundreds of additional free ones on the same network. I used to pay $29 a month to cover two phones on different plans and never paid extra for calls or SMSs. My current plan would allow me about 2,750 messages a month (if I made no calls), ---
**Author:** ![Jake\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Jake\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Jones)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/32 "2012-09-09T12:53:15Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > I do have to say, though, that I resent the term “antiquated” almost as much as someone earlier resented the term “children”. So I will stop shaking my cane at you kids today if you will stop calling me grandma. That was me on both counts. Do feel free to address me directly. Also, I’m not a kid. I’m closer to the finish line than the starting line, but I try to integrate new technology into my life rather than grouse about “the kids and their texting!” or similar. I basically made the same argument as Bozuit, without the example story, and I made it first. Text messaging is useful as an asynchronous communication tool, much like email. Texting is mobile phone centric, while email is used across a variety of platforms. The fact that you somehow came back to the discussion to deign that text messaging can “make sense” under certain circumstances that you can now deem more worthy than pre-pubescent antics really doesn’t impress me very much. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/33 "2012-09-09T13:07:33Z")
I had a cell phone with no texting enabled for years, until just about two years ago actually. I informed my friends and family of this, if they texted me I’d call them to say ‘please don’t!’ No big deal. FWIW I’m 27 so of course all of my friends (most within 5 years of my age) are huge texters… as am I, now. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/34 "2012-09-09T14:46:06Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I dont text and I have set up my phone to not receive them. When asked I say "I got a lot of Spam texts there for a while and had to disable texting on this phone, I think you understand. That’s what I did. My husband and I don’t text, so we bought a plan that doesn’t include free texting. When someone sent us a text, we’d get charged a quarter or whatever. We explained to our family and friends that we got charged, and asked that they not text unless it was urgent. Everybody understood except the spammers, who were sending half a dozen texts a week, and his 75-year-old mother, who can’t keep her hands off the buttons to send “How are you?” texts, no matter how many times we have asked her to _just call_. I asked Verizon if they could block texts from anyone not in our phone books, just to eliminate the spammers anyway, and they said no. So we went ahead and blocked anyway. Sorry, Mom. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/35 "2012-09-09T14:53:41Z")
There’s nothing wrong or impolite about just saying “I get charged for texts, please don’t text me unless it’s an emergency.” Hell, there’s nothing wrong or impolite about saying “I hate texting, please don’t text me.” It’s your phone, it exists for \*your \*convenience, not everyone else’s. Personally, I’m the opposite. I hate talking on the phone unless it’s absolutely necessary, and I just won’t pick it up. My friends know this about me, and will send me a text that says “I need to actually talk to you, call me when you’re free.” ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/36 "2012-09-09T15:16:51Z")
> [@Jake\_Jones](#): > > This is just over the top. I’m not even sure if you’re being serious. Why would you use a computer or a telephone when you could just write a letter on parchment with your quill and inkwell, or ride to your neighbor’s house on your horse to speak with them in person? I’m deadly serious. I consider myself sort of a quasi Neo-Luddite. I like knowing about new technology, but I’m very picky about what I actually use. I still don’t like the fact that answering machines exist. I hate talking to machines. At various times, I’ve actually considered plans to make people demonstrate a legitimate need to own a cell phone (i.e., for work-related reasons, like I do) before allowing them to own one. I think I would possibly be happier if most non-computer, non-medical technology was stuck in the 1970s. My car is a '95, and I’m not exactly thrilled by having one that new. > [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > So in the US you pay extra to use your phone for text messages? Don’t tell me there is something we Aussies aren’t getting screwed with. > > Every plan I have ever had includes SMS messages in the monthly spend. Some include hundreds of additional free ones on the same network. I used to pay $29 a month to cover two phones on different plans and never paid extra for calls or SMSs. My current plan would allow me about 2,750 messages a month (if I made no calls), The “paying extra” thing is mostly for those of us who don’t have contracts. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/37 "2012-09-09T15:38:06Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > If you want to communicate through the written word, send an email or a fax. If I’m sitting on a park bench, I probably don’t have access to a fax machine or a computer. What makes either of those modes of communication better than a text message, other than the fact that you personally seem to prefer them? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/38 "2012-09-09T15:48:18Z")
A fax? How quaint. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/39 "2012-09-09T15:48:38Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > If I’m sitting on a park bench, I probably don’t have access to a fax machine or a computer. Carrier pigeon! If you’re sitting on a park bench, surely you have access to pigeons. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144/40 "2012-09-09T15:49:10Z")
Please STFU. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-a-polite-way-to-say-please-dont-text-me/634144.md?page=3)