# what's big, brown, and eats small children? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 30, 2002, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601 "2002-05-30T19:58:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/41 "2002-06-01T19:04:59Z")
Y’know, you’d think, being as old as I am, that I’d, you know… **learn not to keep opening these links** , but obviously, I am brain dead and have never learned from my mistakes. I now have ripped my eyeballs from their sockets and given my cat a heart attack from the shrieking that ensued after seeing that effin’ camel spider. May all you spider nuts rot in Hell. [sub]and no, I have no idea why I keep returning to this thread. Leave me alone, willya??[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/42 "2002-06-01T20:39:33Z")
Quick factoid. (Learned on Discovery Channel) About 2/3 of the world’s biomass passes through the digestive tracts of spiders, mostly in the form of insects. If not for spiders, we would all starve to death because there would be no way to raise crops with out the insects eating them. Spiders are your (furry, eight-legged, carnivourous, nightmare-inducing) friends 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/43 "2002-06-01T21:05:23Z")
> [@](#): > > **what’s big, brown, and eats small children?** Why, **Biggirl** , of course! [sub]I’m so sorry. I’ve been holding off for two days. It damn near killed me.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/44 "2002-06-01T22:07:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cher3 \* > \*\*I found one of those in my kitchen once. I trapped it with the old water glass and index card trick and tossed it out into the garden. > There was an audible “thump” when it hit the ground. \*\* AAAHHHHHHH! ::pants for a moment and looks around madly:: AAAHHHHHHHHH! Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ- I would have unloaded my 22 on it, I don’t care what anyone says. An audible thump? That phrase is going to stick in my brain forever on an endless loop, just like the many horrible things I’ve read that Stephen King wrote. AAAHHHHHHHHHH! Zette ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/45 "2002-06-02T02:03:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhubarb \* > Quick factoid. (Learned on Discovery Channel) About 2/3 of the world’s biomass passes through the digestive tracts of spiders I won’t speak for anyone else, but this is a statistic I did _not_ need to know. Spider poop. It’s what’s for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/46 "2002-06-02T02:10:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lucki Chaarms \* > **[RUN DUDE, RUN!!!](http://www.saddleworth.net/gedspage/goliath.htm)** That photo is an obvious fake! Though those spiders do get that big, from what I read. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/47 "2002-06-02T05:22:35Z")
Jeezuz. I thought Esprix’s scorpion was bad, and I live where there are no scorpions. There are spiders in Illinois though. Pass the coffee, I’m gonna be up awhile. ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/48 "2002-06-02T07:24:37Z")
I am obviously a glutton for punishment. Now I would like to share my pain with you. [I’ll be over here crying if you need me.](http://www.extremescience.com/BiggestSpider.htm) LC ---
**Author:** ![ChronosGF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@ChronosGF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChronosGF)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/49 "2002-06-02T07:42:12Z")
I think spiders are why man invented shotguns… ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/50 "2002-06-02T10:33:08Z")
Am I alone in thinking that a goliath spider would probably make a heck of a meal, if cleaned and cooked properly? Maybe sauteed in butter, served kind of like crab with the legs ready-to-crack and suck on. Arthropods are arthropods, after all, and spiders are relatively common (more common than king crab, at least). Use pigeons or seagulls as bait. We got a ton of seagulls around here, all of them goddamned useless, noisy, and messy. I’d love to see some goliath spiders attacking seagulls. (Sorry for any lossage of recently-eaten meals. Chalk it up to my basic geek nature, and maybe some repressed evil. ;)) If the toxin is still dangerous after cooking, well, can we say ‘Japanese market’? 😃 (Any culture that eats pufferfish is bound to go for a puny spider.) ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601/51 "2002-06-02T11:02:44Z")
/hijack/ Wow someone knows of niles michigan? Most of the cauffmans live between niles/southbend/ buchannon \ Is it still growing ? I havent been there in about 6 years now thanks … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-big-brown-and-eats-small-children/111601.md?page=2)