# What's Cheez Whiz Got Ta Do, Got Ta Do With It? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721 "2004-03-22T14:11:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/61 "2004-03-23T05:36:45Z")
Hey, I used to eat those canned tamales! :eek: It was the only way I could satisy my craving for tamales. Fortunately I now live 2 blocks from a panderia where I can get real authentic tamales any time I want. There are also 2 Chinese , 1 Thai, and an Italian restaurant within 8 blocks of our house. Life is good. **Booker** , most cheeses have little lactose in them. Are you sure it’s lactose intolerance. I’m very intolerant (of lactose) and I eat cheese like a fiend. **Quilter** , rognons = kidneys. Just so’s ya know. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/62 "2004-03-23T09:23:58Z")
Wowsers. I get way behind when I’m off on a monday. I’ve never tried Cheez Whiz that I know of but I do like Velveeta. Especially for grilled cheese sandwiches. This fact practically gives my chef brother an apoplectic fit but I don’t give a fig. Really. Because I’m not very fond of figs. Unless it’s a fig newton of course. I’m all over those. But definitely **not** Wayne Newton for anyone keeping score. I like Spam well enough though I haven’t had it for some years. As a kid about all I would eat were fried Spam or bologna sandwiches. Oh, and peanut butter and jelly naturally. I have a can of some sort of mutant turkey Spam in my cupboard right now. I bought it out of curiousity but never got up enough courage to open it. It’s probably pretty well aged by now. I also like liver and escargot. Tasty. As for my shoes, they’re mostly Birkenstocks so I imagine they’ve got some sort of germanic names. I’ve never asked them. And just to veer off course a bit, I bought a discount CD the other day and took it to work to play over the weekend. (It gets pretty lonely in the lab on weekends-I’m the only one there.) It was a compilation of great movie songs like Singin’ in the Rain, Get Happy, The Trolley Song (clang! clang! clang!), and The Varsity Drag. Great stuff! And I got to spend the weekend with the likes of Judy Garland, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, et. al. Much better company than I usually keep I must say. Present company excluded of course. (Did you know The Varsity Drag was performed by June Allyson and Peter Lawford?) ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/63 "2004-03-23T11:50:11Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > That hurts **Gazelle**. “Tue of the most disgusting foodstuffs on the planet” and I didn’t even bring up escargots or sauerkraut juice. Or tofu and Clamato. There are waaaay worse stuff than Cheez Whiz and Spam. I love escargot and tofu. But you can add the other tue tue the list of MDFSOTP. Unless they don’t qualify as foodstuffs. Juicestuffs? > [@Rue DeDay](#): > > Heh. Nice spelling too. It makes me feel closer to you, just with the reading. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/64 "2004-03-23T11:51:09Z")
> [@dwyr](#): > > \ But definitely **not** Wayne Newton for anyone keeping score. My youngest sister grabbed Wayne Newton’s ass when she was in Vegas. She and some friends had a stage-side table for his show. Apparently, they were rather well, um, beveraged, shall we say. And during his performance, she said he walks around and hugs and smooches his fans. Well, my ahem shy lil sister decided that as she was being smooched, she’d grab his ass. And she did. She said his eyes got rather large. :eek: She doesn’t eat Spam. But she does like to dress up her greyhound and take him to doggie costume contests. My youngest sister is a colorful individual. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/65 "2004-03-23T12:04:21Z")
I sense a little confusion that fairly begs for a rundown of the various Cheez-Whizesque foodstuffs. May I? [Cheese Whiz](http://huntsfinefoods.homestead.com/files/CHEESE_WHIZ.jpg) [Easy Cheese](http://www.donna-town.com/dona_shop/sgif/0030031.jpg) [Easy Cheese sur un Biscuit de Ritz](http://www.nabiscoworld.com/images/ritz/ri_recipes_cheers.jpg) [Velveeta](http://www.usafa.af.mil/dfsel/sl3/food/images/velveeta.jpg) [Cheesy Mustache](http://www.personal.psu.edu/staff/p/l/plr10/images/smallPablo.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/66 "2004-03-23T13:01:23Z")
I’m kinda lost in the food-type threads, so unless you guys want a recipe for red-flannel hash (which you don’t) I’m going to wait for the sneaker hijack to take off. Now then, **quilter** , I lurked for nearly three years before registering, so I can understand where you’re coming from. That said, continuing to just lurk for a whole _year_ after registering just seems… excessive. Post. Now. That’s an order. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/67 "2004-03-23T13:06:07Z")
More additions to the ick list: bologna ick! escargot ick! kidneys ick! canned tamales ick! (real tamales, yum!) tofu ick! sauerkraut ick! The nonfood ick list: Wayne Newton ick! ick! Wayne Newton’s ass ick! ewww! ick! ewww! and yuck! -swampbear (but I did kinda like **Gazelle’s** cheesy moustache picture) ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/68 "2004-03-23T14:38:48Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > I’m kinda lost in the food-type threads, so unless you guys want a recipe for red-flannel hash (which you don’t) I’m going to wait for the sneaker hijack to take off. Obligatory request for the red flannel hash recipe follows: GIMME! ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/69 "2004-03-23T15:44:42Z")
Speaking of disgusting cheese-related foodstuffs, I can’t believe I forgot this one. [Head Cheese](http://www.morningbuzz.net/other_stuff/headcheese%20copy.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/70 "2004-03-23T16:18:39Z")
:eek: I don’t know whether to be frightened of the head cheese or to be frightened of **Gazelle** because she found a picture of head cheese. :eek: head cheese Ick! ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/71 "2004-03-23T16:26:29Z")
> [@Gazelle](#): > > Speaking of disgusting cheese-related foodstuffs, I can’t believe I forgot this one. > > [Head Cheese](http://www.morningbuzz.net/other_stuff/headcheese%20copy.jpg) You think that’s bad? [Cheese cigarettes](http://www.bpmlegal.com/wcheese.html) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/72 "2004-03-23T17:03:48Z")
> [@Booker57](#): > > Her boyfriend gave me six cans of, not so fast, Treet! WTF? Dude, that’s not funny. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/73 "2004-03-23T17:07:49Z")
**Ex** , I’ll take that recipe for Hash. I haven’t had any since I left New England and I have no idea how to make it. Um… Oh! Bologna! My Dad (former High School Chem teacher) used the word bologna on a test. He had two students ask what it was, and one wrote him a note saying, “Mr. Tool, (not his real name) you misspelled baloney. Can I get extra credit?” I went to a buffet somewhere down south a couple years ago (Homestyle Buffet, maybe?). It was pretty good. They even had a cheese section. The cheese section was simply the largest hunk of Velveeta you’ve ever seen (easily 2 feet square) and an enormous knife to cut it with. Interestingly enough, that much Velveeta jiggles like Jell-O when you touch it, and the oily sheen was practically blinding. None of us were brave enough to try it, though. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/74 "2004-03-23T18:09:29Z")
_gasp gasp gasp pant_ Whew… I’m late! Sorry. I know there is no excuse to be late to the MMP but um well I am so I guess I need a spamking er um spanking er yeah that’s it… So, I don’t like spam - but cheeze-whiz is yummy. We love to have it with fries or to dip soft pretzels in. Nice to see the gang’s all here and officially chartered! Does this mean FCD will take us all for a boat ride? And will we get swept up in a storm. And all we will have is mini spam and cheeze whiz! And Rue will be Gilligan. And I want to be Mary Ann. And I think I need to lay off the cheeze whiz after midnight! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/75 "2004-03-23T21:43:50Z")
_Ahem_ …NOW the gang is all here. I’ve coughed up the $4.95 and here I be. And what do I come back to? Spam. Merciful heavens. Cheese Whiz? Only in an emergency. Head cheese? Do we have to go there? -Ellen. (who’s back … with a ring on her finger) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/76 "2004-03-23T22:01:11Z")
What, no bells on your toes? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/77 "2004-03-23T22:04:50Z")
> [@Ellen Cherry](#): > > _Ahem_ …NOW the gang is all here. I’ve coughed up the $4.95 and here I be. And what do I come back to? Spam. Merciful heavens. Cheese Whiz? Only in an emergency. Head cheese? Do we have to go there? > -Ellen. (who’s back … with a ring on her finger) 🙂 Okay, I lost my program. Married or engaged? And best wishes, semper fi, congratulations, whichever works for you. I’m so happy for you, and just a tad jealous of your beau. ---
**Author:** ![earthpuppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@earthpuppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/earthpuppy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/78 "2004-03-23T22:21:52Z")
Hi everyone. Sorry I’ve been absent for so long, but the firm I work for merged with another, larger firm. I’ve had to relocate to a new office in Buckhead, and they have IT Nazis here (from what I understand)…so I am unable to hang out on the SDMB as in the past. I’m afraid I’ll have to become a nocturnal poster…but maybe I can sneak in once and a while during the day. **rue** , I’d love to come to TornaDope, but it’d be a 500 mile drive for me…I’ll have to see if I get a wild hair up my \_\_\_\_, I just might make it. Just wanted to say hello, and make sure you don’t forget me! ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/79 "2004-03-23T23:40:53Z")
Some of the bestest posters are mostly nocturnal you know. Not that I’m naming names or anything. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721/80 "2004-03-24T00:59:13Z")
I wonder what happens if you bread and deep-fry cubes of Velveeta. Up here in Canada, we don’t seem to carry Velveeta in enormous slabs. Until I went to Arkansas I didn’t realise that people would want it in one-pound blocks. Live and learn. I’m tempted to buy a can of that cheese, just for experimental purposes. If I do I’ll report back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-cheez-whiz-got-ta-do-got-ta-do-with-it/235721.md?page=5)