# Whats grosser than gross?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 24, 1999, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409 "1999-09-24T07:31:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/1 "1999-09-24T07:31:00Z")

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You played it so lets hear your sickest one!

Jumping off a building and getting your eyelid hung on a old nail sunk into the ledge

Finishing up a steak and finding a used bandaid underneath the last bite

Having a major sneeze hit you in church just as you are holding back some major runs

Gimme your best shot!

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**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/2 "1999-09-24T08:56:00Z")

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Jumping off of a ten story building, and landing on a bicycle without a seat.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/3 "1999-09-24T12:03:00Z")

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145?

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/4 "1999-09-24T12:30:00Z")

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Well, the classic punchline is “biting into a hotdog and seeing veins”  
Realizing the cavier you just ate is in fact roach eggs, and you feel them hatching in your throat.

Holding your breath until you feel your eyes pop out of your head and dangle on your face.

Being hung upside down from a tree and being force fed Ex Lax.

Taking a pair of pliers and peeling off all your toenails

Hanging yourself from your nipples with fishhooks.

Ummm…having a major snot luggee built up, and just before you blow your nose, you hiccup and swallow it.

* * *

You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.

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**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/5 "1999-09-24T12:39:00Z")

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Rimming someone and realize there are maggots in his but then consoling yourself becuase they are really pinworms.

My friends usually don’t play this game with me. 😉

SC

* * *

“People’s Poet don’t die, we’ll kill ourselves if you do, but first we’ll take off all our clothes.” The Young Ones

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**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/6 "1999-09-24T12:44:00Z")

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Watching some kid at McD’s popping his zits into the special sauce.

Seeing a puddle of puke outside a restaurant, and recognizing that whose ever it was had the same thing you just had.

Taking your clothes out of the dryer at the laundromat and finding someone else’s underwear was mixed in with your clothes - but they didn’t wash them first.

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**Author:** ![Contestant\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@Contestant\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contestant_3)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/7 "1999-09-24T12:52:00Z")

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Eating a bowl of rice and one of the grains of rice starts wiggling.

Watching a dog eat their fresh vomit

Having your arm dismembered in an auto accident, then walking around in shock, picking up pieces of your arm

Taking a shit and realizing that part of your colon came out and you have to stuff it back inside you

Waking up in the middle of the night to realize that your alcoholic father-in-law is taking a piss in a random corner of your bedroom

Being so poor and so hungry that if you are lucky enough to get some corn to eat, you recycle by retreiving the kernels from your shit for a future meal

You are french-kissing your girlfriend and suddenly she gags and vomits down your throat

* * *

Contestant #3

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**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/8 "1999-09-24T13:03:00Z")

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A pile of dead babies…  
A live one on the bottom eating its way out.

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**Author:** ![lvick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d07c76/32.png) [@lvick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lvick)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/9 "1999-09-24T13:46:00Z")

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Doing a pregnant woman and getting head from the baby,  
Larry

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**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/10 "1999-09-24T13:46:00Z")

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How about spilling your motorcycle on the grated deck of a drawbridge?

* * *

One complete set of morals for sale to highest bidder, new in box.

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**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/11 "1999-09-24T13:59:00Z")

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What about getting electrocuted?

* * *

“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument” - William McAdoo

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**Author:** ![StStella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@StStella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StStella)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/12 "1999-09-24T14:09:00Z")

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Hub- good reference, I love that movie!

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**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/13 "1999-09-24T14:16:00Z")

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The old stanby’s of my youth was:

Sliding off a razor blade into a pool of alcohol.

Sucking the snot out of a dead mans nose.

* * *

Yer pal,  
Satan

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/14 "1999-09-24T14:24:00Z")

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_BARF_

You guys are probably WAY sicker than me, but…

You know, when you’re sick and throwing up all over the place (it’s good when you have diarrhea (sp?) also, you really get to appreciate these small Turkish Hotel Bathrooms that enable you to shit on the toilet and hurl in the fountain at the same time), and you’re throwing up so hard the vomit gets up in the back of your nose ? You then have to _SNORT_ the fucking stuff out of there again, into your mouth, which subsequently makes you barf all over again, causing the very same problem of a nose full of vomit, etc etc ad infinitum 🙂

Am I in for the Gross Award yet or should I add some more gory details ?

Coldfire 😉

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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**Author:** ![cody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cody)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/15 "1999-09-24T14:25:00Z")

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Eating an entire bucket of toenails and then getting diarrhea.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/16 "1999-09-24T14:43:00Z")

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Getiing some bile in your throat and realizing it smells just like Shake-and-Bake.

Sucking off an infected goat.

Peeling off your skin, then plucking the exposed nerves like a harp.

Having a nice steamy shitburger with a side of fried Crisco balls in lard gravy, served in a dirty ashtray.

* * *

You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/17 "1999-09-24T14:57:00Z")

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Seeing my dog eat a pile of shit.( It wasn’t her own and I couldn’t stop her in time.) I almost puked.

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**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/18 "1999-09-24T15:09:00Z")

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Giving your grandmother a goodby kiss and she gives you tongue.

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**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/19 "1999-09-24T15:17:00Z")

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Finding out your new beau is into scat and wants you to be the bottom.

Finding your new beau has green cum and you swallowed not ten seconds earlier.

Two words: bad breath.

Actually seen on a video, it was horrifying yet enthralling:

I saw a scat video where a guy dumped a big diarrhea load on this other guys face. If that was not bad enough, the other guy proceeded to eat it and do a fingerpainting scene. \<YUCKO!\>

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**Author:** ![kknick34](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a698b9/32.png) [@kknick34](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kknick34)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-grosser-than-gross/8409/20 "1999-09-24T16:25:00Z")

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Finding out the barberque potato chips you just ate is your little brothers scab collection.

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