# What's happened to Dick Chaney? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 16, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750 "2008-01-16T16:15:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ronald\_C.Semone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Ronald\_C.Semone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_C.Semone)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/1 "2008-01-16T16:15:49Z")
Except for the accounts of the small fire in his White House office last week, I haven’t seen Dick Chaney’s name in the newspapers for months. What happened? Did I miss something? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/2 "2008-01-16T16:31:00Z")
[QUOTE=Ronald C. Semone] Except for the accounts of the small fire in his White House office last week, I haven’t seen Dick Chaney’s name in the newspapers for months. What happened? Did I miss something? [/QUOTE] On a worldwide tour of zoos to participate in breeding programs other other pandas? S ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/3 "2008-01-16T16:33:12Z")
[QUOTE=Ronald C. Semone] Except for the accounts of the small fire in his White House office last week, I haven’t seen Dick Chaney’s name in the newspapers for months. What happened? Did I miss something? [/QUOTE] Who cares? As long as I don’t have to see him! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/4 "2008-01-16T16:42:44Z")
Maybe he accidentally locked himself in his man-sized office safe. ---
**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/5 "2008-01-16T16:45:18Z")
Apparently he’s been bowling: [Demon bowlers gain confidence with win over Cheney](http://www.dodgeglobe.com/stories/011608/spo_20080116018.shtml) Bowling with old buddies from the, uh, “home office”? Oh, wait. Different Cheney. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/6 "2008-01-16T16:58:38Z")
“What’re we gonna do tonight, Dick?” “Same thing we do every night, George. Try to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!” They’re zany, they’re Cheney and the Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/7 "2008-01-16T17:00:57Z")
The latch on his coffin got stuck. He’s been trying to get out for weeks… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/8 "2008-01-16T17:02:31Z")
Semi-serious answer: The primaries have pushed a lot of other news off the front pages. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/9 "2008-01-16T17:07:34Z")
From his [web page](http://www.whitehouse.gov/vicepresident/) it appears he hasn’t given a speech since December 7. Sure seems odd for him. But then, I notice similar gaps in June/July and October/November. Perhaps his pet boa constrictor is ailing again. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/10 "2008-01-16T17:14:03Z")
[QUOTE=toadspittle] Apparently he’s been bowling: [Demon bowlers gain confidence with win over Cheney](http://www.dodgeglobe.com/stories/011608/spo_20080116018.shtml) Bowling with old buddies from the, uh, “home office”? Oh, wait. Different Cheney. Never mind. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Otto] “What’re we gonna do tonight, Dick?” “Same thing we do every night, George. Try to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!” They’re zany, they’re Cheney and the Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush! [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=jayjay] The latch on his coffin got stuck. He’s been trying to get out for weeks… [/QUOTE] These were all great. Thanks to all three of you for the laughs. BTW: [Wexler Calls For Cheney’s Impeachment](http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/01/15/politics/politico/thecrypt/main3717807.shtml). He just met with Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen to discuss Afghanistan, Kosovo, and Finland’s involvement with NATO’s partnership for Peace programme. Vanhanen said that Cheney did not ask Finland to send more peacekeepers to Afghanistan or Kosovo. He is suppose to meeting with Bill Gates next. (I suppose Count Chocula and Mr. Burns will be in attendance.) Jim ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/11 "2008-01-16T17:35:11Z")
He’s busy planning the invasion of Iran. ---
**Author:** ![Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/54ee81/32.png) [@Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kneepants_Erasmus_the_Humanist)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/12 "2008-01-16T20:56:46Z")
[QUOTE=NurseCarmen] He’s busy planning the invasion of Iran. [/QUOTE] Well…? Whatever it is, it **cannot** be good. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/13 "2008-01-16T21:13:56Z")
I saw Dick Chaney walking with the queen … . ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/14 "2008-01-16T21:15:25Z")
His skin condition is acting up, and there is a shortage of virgin’s blood to bathe in. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/15 "2008-01-16T22:16:20Z")
Last I heard, he was at an undisclosed location. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/16 "2008-01-16T22:49:55Z")
Cyborg Cheney is being fitted with a chaingun arm , Laser Eyeball, & Battle Blade to go with his Bionic Heart &Buddy-Seeking Combat Shotgun™. Soon, all America shall feel his inhuman vengeance. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/17 "2008-01-17T03:45:36Z")
I can’t really see this thread garnering much more in the way of factual input. Given the responses so far, it’s probably better off in MPSIMS. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/18 "2008-01-17T03:48:17Z")
Mephostophiles called in the contract? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/19 "2008-01-17T06:55:13Z")
I think his health is somewhat more precarious lately than in the past, so he might simply be keeping a lower profile to reduce exertion. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750/20 "2008-01-17T07:10:45Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] His skin condition is acting up, and there is a shortage of virgin’s blood to bathe in. [/QUOTE] At last, the reasoning behind abstinence-only sex education is explained. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-happened-to-dick-chaney/433750.md?page=2)