# What's Hugh Hefner's Secret? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216 "2009-01-07T12:45:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/21 "2009-01-08T03:51:48Z")
Just so we’re clear, I’m not asking about his faux-girlfriends like Kendra. > [@Cliffy](#): > > I don’t know – he seems pretty on the level about the thing. We’ll be together (though not monogamous), you’ll have a great time, meet lots of interesting people, and we won’t ever, ever get married. I believe he’s been married 2 or 3 times. Anyway, having read the responses, I’m gonna guess that NDA’s play a big role. i.e. his divorce lawyer tells his X2b that she’ll get X dollars extra a month extra if she agrees to a non-disparagement obligation. Why do I think so? Because it’s just not in most women’s nature to be cool with it if they have married a guy, given him the best years of her life, given him children, and then been dumped for someone who’s younger and hotter. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/22 "2009-01-08T04:03:56Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > They should be appealing to people’s nostalgia and taking a cue from **Mad Men** (the esthetic, not the racism/sexism). I have a copy of _Playboy_ from 1966. It’s fascinating. I don’t know what the magazine is like now, but in 1966 it had a lot of information on things like the latest audio and video (yes, video) equipment, travel, jokes, political essays, advice columns, in addition to the photo essays featuring such beauties as Melinda Windsor. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/23 "2009-01-08T04:08:38Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Why do I think so? Because it’s just not in most women’s nature to be cool with it if they have married a guy, given him the best years of her life, given him children, and then been dumped for someone who’s younger and hotter. You’re cracking me up, dude. No generalizing there, nosiree. It’s a good thing you said most in front of the women too! 😃 But isn’t it just like many men to do something skeevy like that! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/24 "2009-01-08T04:14:49Z")
They also opened a playboy Casino recently, and he’s probably smart enough to be well diversified. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/25 "2009-01-08T04:20:50Z")
> [@greatshakes](#): > > I think looks are irrelevant, now. Listen, it’s not a looks thing when you’re as old as him, because there ain’[t a gonna be no physical stuff goin on! And some, if not all of his ‘gfs’ can get their attention got, by somebody younger by 4 or 5 decades. > Also, _before Hef had money_ was 50 plus years ago. He was handsome then. > > I also think the women that walk away from Hef have got all that they want from him, and they so pity the kindly old man who gave them their start, that they would be afraid that they would be accused of killing him if they did anything that might agitate him into having a heart attack. He seems to be a big champion of Viagra, so I believe that there would be some physical stuff going on. I never found him handsome, always thought he was butt ugly. BTW, he was married in his early 20s, they divorced, he borrowed money to start Playboy, and Marilyn Monroe (centerfold) was in the first issue-- it came out when he was 27. Once that was on the rails, he was never lacking female companionship. Though I respect his role in sex education of the masses, and his support of talented young writers in his magazine, I still find him repulsive and somewhat reptilian looking. But that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![greatshakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@greatshakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greatshakes)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/26 "2009-01-08T04:51:15Z")
> [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > He seems to be a big champion of Viagra, so I believe that there would be some physical stuff going on. I meant with a partner. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/27 "2009-01-08T13:49:54Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Just so we’re clear, I’m not asking about his faux-girlfriends like Kendra. > > I believe he’s been married 2 or 3 times. > > Anyway, having read the responses, I’m gonna guess that NDA’s play a big role. i.e. his divorce lawyer tells his X2b that she’ll get X dollars extra a month extra if she agrees to a non-disparagement obligation. > > Why do I think so? Because it’s just not in most women’s nature to be cool with it if they have married a guy, given him the best years of her life, given him children, and then been dumped for someone who’s younger and hotter. According to wikipedia, he’s been married twice, from 1949-1959, and from 1989-99. His first wife might be entitled to a little pissyness, on the grounds that her marriage didn’t turn out to be what she signed up for. His second wife most assuredly is not. And since then, it’s been ALL faux-girlfriends. I’m thinking at this point there’s no way that Hef gets within 10 feet of a girl without a contract. Your last remark could have been so much less toolish just by changing the word “women” to “people”. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/28 "2009-01-08T20:01:20Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Your last remark could have been so much less toolish just by changing the word “women” to “people”. But a dude can’t give you children, unless he just plucks them off the street or something. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/29 "2009-01-08T22:57:23Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Your last remark could have been so much less toolish just by changing the word “women” to “people”. I don’t know what you mean by “toolish,” but I will note that men and women (generally speaking) are a bit different in respect of this issue. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/30 "2009-01-08T23:41:21Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > I’m not asking how he gets lots of young hot women, as that is not too hard, particularly if you are a man with some wealth and position. > > What I want to know is this: Why do his ex-wives and girlfriends seem to be so positive about him? Whataver happened to “a woman scorned” and all? > > Or are there some embittered Hefner exes out there who don’t get much airtime? Several of his exes have written books or gone on the record in less than favorable fashion. In fact, while two of the last three seem to only say good things about him, Holly Madison (the “main” gf who desperately wanted to marry him and be impregnated by him-- seriously, they both claim they actively went through fertility treatments, all of which failed) has been less than positive. Holly not only quickly jumped into a relationship with Chriss Angel, but she also has made a lot of catty remarks about Hefner. Apparently, though, most of the girls claim that he’s a very sincere, sweet old man, but that there’s a lot of “gross” stuff that happens at the Mansion. Supposedly there are twice weekly sex nights where every girl in the Mansion is expected to line up in his room in matching PJs after a group bath (he just watches and takes pictures). If a girl wants to sleep with Hefner, she’s expected to strip completely naked, but if a girl doesn’t want to participate, she’s expected to take her top off and do faux lesbian stuff with other observers. The main girl friend goes first (as it’s safer for her that way, in theory, I guess), then every girl in the room. No protection. No testing. That said, from all the books, he really does seem like a sweet guy. He pays for their cars, their college, whatever the girls want or need. Apparently, he’s very easily manipulated, though, and some of the girls found themselves annoyed by how others would cry with him to get their way (supposedly he can’t stand to watch a girl cry). [This book actually isn’t so bad.](http://www.amazon.com/Bunny-Tales-Izabella-St-James/dp/0762427396) She’s an ex girlfriend who is now a lawyer, with her law degree paid for by Hefner. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/31 "2009-01-09T05:17:03Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > [This book actually isn’t so bad.](http://www.amazon.com/Bunny-Tales-Izabella-St-James/dp/0762427396) She’s an ex girlfriend who is now a lawyer, with her law degree paid for by Hefner. According to her Wiki page, she met Hef in 2000 and graduated law school in 2001, so presumably he didn’t pay for much of it. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/32 "2009-01-09T10:50:16Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > According to her Wiki page, she met Hef in 2000 and graduated law school in 2001, so presumably he didn’t pay for much of it. It’s possible that he paid off her loans 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/33 "2009-01-09T11:35:30Z")
Hugh Hefner reminds me of a lot of the DOB’s who sit at my bar. If they have money and like to share it, their perviness is written off as “teasing” or “being silly” or “harmless.” Take the same exact guy and make him a bad tipper and he is considered a disgusting old reprobate who gets short-poured. It’s all about the money. I don’t care how nice or sweet or even how smart Hugh Hefner is. His secret is in his wallet. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/34 "2009-01-09T11:40:37Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > It’s all about the money. > > I don’t care how nice or sweet or even how smart Hugh Hefner is. His secret is in his wallet. Is that a well-filled wallet in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me\*? \*and using Viagra! ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/35 "2009-01-09T11:46:24Z")
A couple of years ago I read a book published online by a woman named Jill Ann Spaulding, who claims that although she didn’t actually have sex with Hefner, she did share his bed and witnessed all the goings-on that took place there during his seven-girlfriend phase. It’s quite lurid and not at all what you would expect of a charming, likeable bon vivant like Hefner. It’s really pretty gross, and given the names that are named and so forth, I would imagine that if her account were false there would have been lawsuits out the wazoo. Plus Hefner has never denied its veracity, stating only that sometimes girls leave their Playboy experience and go on to have actual lives…and that others write books. I found the book still online [here](http://hefnerland.blogspot.com/). Do a search for _“The start of the evening was thirteen girls”_ and the descriptive information follows…or search for _“Give it to her, Daddy”_ and you’ll be right in the middle of the action. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216/36 "2009-01-09T13:45:49Z")
Basically, going into a “relationship” with Hefner & complaining afterwards is like going to a Lynch & Cronenberg film festival & complaining about it being too weird. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-hugh-hefners-secret/480216.md?page=1)