# What's it like to have a penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 25, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795 "2000-07-25T16:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/21 "2000-07-25T21:02:01Z")
I’m sure someone would let you share theirs. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/22 "2000-07-25T21:06:05Z")
I love having a penis. It’s so much fun to play with! And it does neat tricks! Handy for when I want to have sex with a woman as well! Handy when I’m feeling handy! It’s one of the best parts of my body, and it feels darn good! Welcome to the board. Feel free to share my penis anytime you like. ---
**Author:** ![UncaStuart](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncastuart/32/404_2.png) [@UncaStuart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncaStuart)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/23 "2000-07-25T22:44:46Z")
Hey, no biggie. . . . I mean . . . oh, forget it. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/24 "2000-07-25T22:47:29Z")
> [@](#): > > It was in the sixth grade! More than ten years ago!! And he really did deserve it!! I wasn’t even aiming for it either… Sure, that’s what you say \* now, \* but what about when I’m rolling around on the ground in mind-numbing pain? I’ll just stay over here, thank you very much. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/25 "2000-07-25T22:55:03Z")
\*\*What’s it like to have a penis? \*\* If you are a man, it is far better than the alternative. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/26 "2000-07-25T22:59:55Z")
Well, okay, he said something bastardish and I was standing in front of him (like I said, we were in the lunch line) and the only way I could retaliate was if I sorta flicked my hand behind me. Guess what I hit. I didn’t think I hit it… I didn’t feel it, that’s for sure. Okay, you guys can uncross your legs now… 😃 I haven’t done it since, okay? Really! Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/27 "2000-07-25T23:00:51Z")
Opulence, men do not have penises. Penises have mobile life-support systems. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stranger\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@The\_Stranger\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stranger_1)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/28 "2000-07-25T23:24:02Z")
These are some minor irritations I find associated with having a Penis: \> it hurts when you forget to “adjust” before you sit down. \> When you sit down on a toilet you have to hold it out of the water… \> But the worst irritation is when it gets hard, it seems to remove brain cells…thus lowering your IQ, thereby reducing you to caveman status… /caveman voice… _“MMMMMSEXGOOD, NOSexBAAAD!”_ Stranger OUT ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/29 "2000-07-25T23:27:50Z")
> [@](#): > > you guys can uncross your legs now Well, if you put it \* that \* way… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/30 "2000-07-26T01:21:24Z")
One of the better things about having a penis is that it makes your paycheck bigger. (_Smiley implied! Smiley implied!_} ---
**Author:** ![bwv881](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@bwv881](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bwv881)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/31 "2000-07-26T02:41:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Opulence \* > \*\*I keep having this dream where I have a penis and get very aroused and have sex with women. I’m sure there’s some phsycological meaning behind this, but as a girl, I have always wondered what it would be like. In the dream, I have a sense of power and domination. Is that what its like? \*\* Power and domination? - not for me at least. It’s just something between one’s legs that you have to take care to protect but can be a lot of fun to have. I think of it as a pleasure producing organ for the male (and female). Interesting that a female would think of it as a means of domination. BTW I’ve heard that hormones (testosterone) can significantly enlarge parts of the female anatomy 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/32 "2000-07-26T03:43:36Z")
Power and domination, power and domination… I am clearly not using this thing the right way, because I swear Mrs. Cal doesn’t see things that way. Maybe I should check the batteries. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/33 "2000-07-26T04:04:23Z")
Believe me Op, though I wouldn’t part with “Little Larry” for the world, sometimes he can be a royal pain in the ass. 1.) Women will not no the indescribable pain of getting kicked in the balls. (OK, men will never know the indescribable pain of Childbirth, but at least you chicks have a fairly good idea when that’s going to happen.) 2.) When Big Larry has a few drinks little larry passes right out, and will occaisionaly sleep through the ministrations of the most voluptous female, much to Big Larry’s embarassment. 3.) No multiple Orgasms. Nuff said. Didn’t Cecil do a column on this once? 4.) errr, size. Though I have been assured by women that little Lar is “average” and “unfurls to a decent length,” I will always be insecure about this and it will provide ammo to any vindictive ex-girlfriend. (Fortunately my breakups have been amicable) I suppose that Women go through the same insecurities with breasts and body image though. Omigod, I’m not turning into Micheal Masterson, Am I??!!! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/34 "2000-07-26T04:49:58Z")
Please - I agree with Audrey: let’s not do the penis envy thing. Frued was a troubled man and the theory is losing credibility and social context regardless. It could just be a natural curiosity. After all I think most sexually active people have at least wondered what sex would be like as a member of the opposite sex. And I know I’ve had some very intense dreams where I was having sex as a woman (and incidentally it felt completely different - better even. Strange subconsciousness). ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/35 "2000-07-26T05:56:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*I once accidentally whacked this guy down there while standing in line for lunch at school. He was in pain for a bit. I felt bad about it, but he, of course, deserved it. 😃 \*\* Mr. Snake demands that anyone who I associate with be a lot more respectful of him than that. Especially since, according to Ruffian, I…twice…well, read it for yourself: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31796](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31796) ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/36 "2000-07-26T08:48:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\* > Mr. Snake demands that anyone who I associate with be a lot more respectful of him than that. > > Especially since, according to Ruffian, I…twice…well, read it for yourself: > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31796](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31796) > > \*\* **Oh, please don’t stop flirting with me!** I _have_ read that post. May I again say I wish I’d been there? Ruffian said you were “a great addition to the company”. I bet you were, babe. Next time, take pictures! And also, I would show utter kindness and care and consideration to Mr. Snake. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/37 "2000-07-26T08:58:01Z")
I’m not sure how to answer this question, because I don’t know what it’s like NOT to have one…having said that, sometimes it’s nice that it does the thinking for me. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/38 "2000-07-26T09:44:06Z")
I can one-up the OP. I’m male-ish, but several times I’ve had dreams where I was female (rather attractive, too). In these dreams, one of my best friends (female-ish) comes along, sporting a nice boner (two feet long, actually… a long-standing joke ‘tween us). She and I have a lot of sex in the dream (a two-footer? Hey, it’s a friggin’ dream!). Anyway, I can recall the orgasm I had as a female, and it was different than my orgasms with Mr. Happy (although I did wake up wet and sticky). ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/39 "2000-07-26T09:49:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\*In these dreams, one of my best friends (female-ish) comes along, sporting a nice boner (two feet long, actually… a long-standing joke 'tween us). \*\* ::COUGH:: _ **"A long-standing joke 'tween us"** _??? \*\* > [@](#): > > She and I have a lot of sex in the dream (a two-footer? Hey, it’s a friggin’ dream!). > \*\* ::COUGH:: “a \*\*\* friggin’\*\*\* dream” Well, you’re either an incredibly a careless proofreader or an absolute master of the double entendre… ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795/40 "2000-07-26T14:27:40Z")
• It’s kind of like trying to explain what it’s like to breathe air instead of getting your oxygen through a set of gills. I mean, lacking the comparison experience, it’s a lot like being. • The “power and domination” thing: while I’m far from being a spokesman for my gender, for me it is most reminiscent of the tickle-fights of childhood. It is fun to “get” someone so that they are helpless as a result of their own reaction to being tickled. It is also fun to be “gotten”! I think there is an undue emphasis in our culture on guys as the ones who want to “get”, and girls as the ones who are primed to respond surrenderingly if “gotten” good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-it-like-to-have-a-penis/26795.md?page=3)