# What's Left of Eve Crawls Back to Work . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 8, 2002, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509 "2002-04-08T16:10:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/1 "2002-04-08T16:10:45Z")
Just NOT a good beginning to spring, not at all. Woke up on Saturday the 30th with the bottom half of my face all red and swollen and itchy, like I’d had a poison-ivy facial. Went to three doctors last week, all with different opinions (allergic reaction? strep infection? bacterial infection?) and just as many pills and ointments (when you have cats, by the way, putting sticky ointment on the bottom half of your face assures you will spend the rest of the day looking like Geo. Bernard Shaw). Stayed home and had my own film festival: “A Woman’s Face,” Marked Woman," “Mask,” “Phantom of the Opera” . . . Took a week’s sick leave but had to come back today, as I’m sure they are dying for an excuse to fire me and hire a 25-year-old at half my salary. I am still all red and blotchy-looking and itchy, can’t wear any makeup, and and for some reason, everyone here thinks that “Oh my God, you look AWFUL!” is the right thing to say. Oh, and just for additional giggles, my local phone company (Verizon) decided to switch my long-distance carrier (MCI) from a seven-cents-a-minute plan to a thirty-cents-a-minute plan WITHOUT ASKING ME, so I got a $350 phone bill. Spent the morning on the phone with both Verizon and MCI, telling them what would happen to them and to their descendents unto the sixth generation unless they cleared this up. Also called “Jim Myers, Vice President, MCI Customer Service” and told his receptionist that he shouldn’t rubber-stamp his signature onto the phone bills unless he was willing to earn his salary by goddam talking to the customers he purports to serve. So, have I missed anything? ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/2 "2002-04-08T16:44:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*So, have I missed anything? \*\* Heathcliff still has not returned. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/3 "2002-04-08T17:09:31Z")
I’m sorry to hear you were so sick, and I hope the bug is on its way out. Didn’t the docs ever decide what it was? I’ve heard more than once about phone companies pulling this one lately. They’ll claim they informed you in earlier correspondence, even if they didn’t. Whatabuncha maroons! Reminds me to keep a close eye on our phone bill lest they try to pull this one on us. Anyway, feel better soon. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/4 "2002-04-08T17:14:50Z")
Well, I FINALLY got a Pit thread devoted to flaming me! Can you believe it? It’s the one about the racist fights back, or something. Woohoo! I’m finally a REAL Doper! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/5 "2002-04-08T17:21:10Z")
Congrats, Guin, I shall have to check in and see what’s cooking. Cajun Man tells me I missed some kind of unfortunate “shemale” thread, which I am NOT going to do a search for, as I am just not up to dealing with that kind of crap this week . . . Nope, no one knows what the hell is wrong with me—I even logged onto some dermatology sites and they all said, basically, “sometimes you get a horrible disfiguring rash and no one knows why. Sometimes it goes away, and if not, you can always become a Muslim and wear a veil.” Crap. I even had to THROW AWAY ALL MY MAKEUP. I’m going to see if I can find a good NYC dermatologist who takes my crappy insurance plan. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/6 "2002-04-08T17:25:09Z")
…not related to your medical condition is forthcoming. If you can’t get your telephone carriers to fix your billing problems, call the NY Public Service Commission 800 number. It WILL get fixed then. From what you posted, it looks like your bill got “crammed.” It happened to me, and no one seemed interested until I complained to the **Regulatory Authority**. You may now carry on with the sympathy posts. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/7 "2002-04-08T17:30:30Z")
Ugh, **Eve** , sounds like a rash I had on my wrists over 10 years ago - the dermatologist admitted that the fancy diagnosis he’d written in the chart just means basically “rash but we don’t know why you got it or what caused it”. (Not that I’m unfamiliar with this, as I work in a cardiology office and see many chest pains that are diagnosed as ‘musculoskeletal pain’ - translation, it’s not your heart but heck if we know why it hurts. Bodies are just weird sometimes.) If it weren’t the middle of summer at the time, I might even have been able to cover it up, but at least it wasn’t in so conspicuous an area. I hope it fades fast - if it’s anything like what I had, the rash should turn brownish and then kind of fade. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/8 "2002-04-08T18:03:48Z")
“Oh my god, **Eve** , you look FANTASTIC!” And veiled millinery simply adds to your sexy mystique, my dear - and goes so fab with your pearls. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/9 "2002-04-08T18:45:51Z")
Some leprosy haiku to make you feel better: The scabs and sores that Plague my body are often Worse in the springtime. - Elliott C. Evans In the late autumn, When leaves wither and fall down, My nose crumbles off. - Elliott C. Evans Like Job bemoaning The loss of his family I weep for my ear. - Elliott C. Evans Oh, no, leprosy Armadillos can get it I hope I do not. - jimz Simon was leprous He left long trails of organs Boy, was that sucky! - Doug DeCarlo On a windy day Guns are unnecessary To blow my head off. - Doug DeCarlo Check extremities. No summer sun can wake these from numbing winter. - Kurt Schaefer Oh the fetid smell. Dull senses alert too late. Ulcers bloom with spring. - Kurt Schaefer Sure glad i don’t have Leprosy. That would really Suck in the winter. - Axel Essbaum In winter we play Hockey except when there’s a Face off on the ice. - Joby My life is Winter Yet my soul is the Summer My limbs are just Fall. - Chris Rapier The weasels ate up The parts of my body that Died and fell away. - Esther Filderman Jenny Craig you fool Who needs a diet when your Body falls apart. - Esther Filderman She loves basketball Since her illness she uses Her boobs to dribble. - Esther Filderman I would create more But i must go catch a bus Hope my self stays whole. - Esther Filderman leper beach outing salt water laps at their toes floating out to sea - Karen Fabrizius lepers at the beach do not need sunblock lotion wipe away the tan - Paul Mazaitis Fall rain comes gently pond ripples with falling leaves fingers drop like stones. - Greg Landrum we are holding hands our fingers intertwine – hey, come back here with that - Andy Plotkin morning, sun shining coffee perks, toast is soon done flesh makes tasty jam. - Greg Landrum sex can be a drag when you’re afraid of leaving your true love behind - Esther Filderman reading haikus here. i will blow chunks on the floor… aha! found that finger! - Brian Harrison I was bulimic until my finger came off while stuck in my throat - Greg Landrum melted brie is yum but it tastes much better when i stir with his tongue - Esther Filderman lepers laugh aloud, “We have a quicker way than bulemia diet.” - Brian Harrison i used to archive the sick jokes on dan and eric about pilot last remarks. - Brian Harrison my good friend in need asks me for a hand today so I oblidged him. - Brian Harrison headaches are so fun someone pulled the dagger out my head went with it - Esther Filderman My sores and pustules Continue to produce filth Much like this instance. - Elliott Evans the weather turns cold “bridge freezes before surface” blood swirls down the stream. - Brian Harrison Valentines Day gone Hearts strewn all over the stores One of them is mine - jimz don’t smoke any more took a deep drag on a butt then coughed up a lung - Esther Filderman decided to die tried to slit my throat but my head snapped & rolled off - Esther Filderman help, feline vulture she climbs on my shoulder & my arm falls away - Esther Filderman Poetry leprous Falls from and with our fingers Like leaves in Autumn - jimz ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/10 "2002-04-08T19:00:17Z")
**Eve** , sorry to hear of your recent travails. If it’s any comfort, now you have an opportunity to work your Greta Garbo in “Camille” impression. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/11 "2002-04-08T19:01:58Z")
Oh, Drat! There it goes! My left arm just hit the floor No more touch typing. - Dinsdale ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/12 "2002-04-08T19:03:59Z")
“If it’s any comfort, now you have an opportunity to work your Greta Garbo in ‘Camille’ impression.” —More like Bette Davis in “Marked Woman,” or Joan Crawford in “A Woman’s Face” . . . ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/13 "2002-04-08T19:11:15Z")
I loved the themed movie fest. No, truly. And the whole rash thing just lets your inner beauty shine out more, right? Er…You look wonderful! (I’m tempted to add darling, but I still feel like the little girl at the grown up tea party so I can’t.) ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/14 "2002-04-08T19:22:26Z")
I’m so glad to have you back, and as for the rash…maybe you should go get some low dose cortisone cream from the pharmacy and slap it on. Couldn’t hurt (at least I don’t THINK it could hurt) and might help. No, I am not a doctor. I am a redhead with all attendant skin problems that go with BEING a redhead. And I have found that when my ultra-sensitive skin decides to get all blotchy, it is pointless to go to the dermatologist and be told that “well, after all, you DO have redhead skin.” Sheesh, like this is NEWS? So now I just slap on some handy dandy OTC cortosone cream and it almost always fades fast. Oh, and one more piece of (unsolicited, sorry) advice…skip the shemale thread. I read it and I had to wash my eyes afterward. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/15 "2002-04-08T19:48:08Z")
Thanks, Scott—hydrocortisone actually made it itch more. So I’m on bactroban and something else which I can’t remember. Also a week of antibiotics . . . And I got them to prescribe me some real Valley of the Dolls-caliber sleeping pills, as I couldn’t sleep more than a few monutes a night . . . (“This is Eve—she takes the yellow ones!”) ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/16 "2002-04-08T20:28:02Z")
Oh, so sorry for the BAD advice. Have your docs had you try an antihistimine? I suppose they have if they thought it was an allergic reaction. I used to get all blotchy whenever I drank red wine…ChlorTrimitene[sup]TM[/sup] cleared it up quickly. They think I am allergic to metabisulfites. No more wine for me, not even a sip. Also, I know you have seen several docs, but just in case you saw one who wasn’t familiar with this…we had an employee once who got cellulitis. A VERY nasty condition which sounds remarkably similar to what you describe. I very much hope that you start feeling better VERY soon! Scotti ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/17 "2002-04-08T20:34:32Z")
Thanks, toots—I forgot, they also did have me on Benadryl. By the way, when it says on the sleeping pills, “taking antihistamines with this medication may increase drowsiness,” I do not consider that a “warning,” I consider it a “serving suggestion.” Mostly what scares me is, what if it never goes away? It’s been nine days, am I being paranoid? I mean, I guess even poison ivy or sunburn takes longer than that to fade away. And it’s not violent red anymore, it’s more a quaint pink. I am pretty much through with doctors at this point; I’ve seen three already and they dunno WHAT it is. I have also learned that “dermatitis” is doctor-talk for “I dunno.” ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/18 "2002-04-08T20:40:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*…Stayed home and had my own film festival: “A Woman’s Face,” Marked Woman," “Mask,” “Phantom of the Opera” . . . \*\* I’m amazed no one has jumped in to mention the missing film from your list… _The Three Faces of Eve._ [sub]Well, the title’s appropriate anyway.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/19 "2002-04-08T22:27:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **By the way, when it says on the sleeping pills, “taking antihistamines with this medication may increase drowsiness,” I do not consider that a “warning,” I consider it a "serving suggestion."** Eve, you are my kind of gal! ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509/20 "2002-04-08T22:42:37Z")
Yep, well when I had the aforementioned reaction to wine, I sort of felt the same way. I figured if it just made me go to sleep, what could be the harm? I’m at an age where a good night’s sleep is better than diamonds! [sub]disclaimer…I can’t wear diamonds anyway, so this may have been a misleading statement. Now, if we were talking about EMERALDS…might be another story![/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-left-of-eve-crawls-back-to-work/102509.md?page=2)