# What's out there that it didn't occur to you even existed?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 2, 2013, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183 "2013-10-02T15:20:34Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 18\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/121 "2013-10-10T19:30:44Z")

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My wife is a Nurse Practitioner. She works at a VA Hospital and shares some pretty special stories. One story in particular has left its marks on me forever. I wish I could unlearn it. She was taking care of a dude whose intestines were so stopped up, or nonfunctional, or whateveritdoesnotmatter, that he was pooping _out of his mouth_. I…gah! I can’t even imagine! I was like, “What?! That’s a thing?!” She said, “Yeah, it’s a thing.”

Now you know it too. It’s a thing.

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**Author:** ![want2befree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@want2befree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2befree)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/122 "2013-10-10T19:35:14Z")

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> [@Lowdown](#):
>
> My wife is a Nurse Practitioner. She works at a VA Hospital and shares some pretty special stories. One story in particular has left its marks on me forever. I wish I could unlearn it. She was taking care of a dude whose intestines were so stopped up, or nonfunctional, or whateveritdoesnotmatter, that he was pooping _out of his mouth_. I…gah! I can’t even imagine! I was like, “What?! That’s a thing?!” She said, “Yeah, it’s a thing.”
> 
> Now you know it too. It’s a thing.

I think I’ve had that (bad) dream.

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**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/123 "2013-10-10T19:36:20Z")

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The penis beaker. Somehow, though, my life doesn’t seem richer for that knowledge.

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**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/124 "2013-10-12T07:04:51Z")

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> [@Lowdown](#):
>
> Now you know it too. It’s a thing.

As a nursing student, I had a patient like that. They called it _fecal vomiting_.  
Another thing that (IIRC) I first heard about here on the SDMB several years ago: prostitutes with a colostomy who allow their customers to have sex with their [stoma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoma_%28medicine%29) (basically, the opening on their abdomen where the colostomy comes out).

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**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/125 "2013-10-12T12:23:19Z")

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> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#):
>
> The penis beaker. Somehow, though, my life doesn’t seem richer for that knowledge.

I read the first post (only) of the penis beaker thread on IMHO. This post of yours confirms my feeling that this is something about which I don’t want to know any details.

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/126 "2013-10-12T20:07:14Z")

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> [@Spice\_Weasel](#):
>
> I’m sorry, I just can’t beat dinosaur porn.

That sentence needs a “to” in it.

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**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/127 "2013-10-12T20:09:07Z")

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> [@vontsira](#):
>
> I read the first post (only) of the penis beaker thread on IMHO. This post of yours confirms my feeling that this is something about which I don’t want to know any details.

The penis beaker is just a post-sex penis-dunking cup. IMO this is not even in the same league as ant zombies, dinosaur porn, or fecal vomiting.

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**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/128 "2013-10-13T00:42:27Z")

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A special tool just for pulling saplings out of the ground:

> **[Pullerbear Tree and Invasive Tree Puller](https://www.pullerbear.com/)**
>
> The Pullerbears are a hand held tree pulling tool that will pull invasive and nuisance trees out of the ground with little effort and with the roots.

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**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/129 "2013-10-13T01:57:51Z")

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> [@Waenara](#):
>
> Another thing that (IIRC) I first heard about here on the SDMB several years ago: prostitutes with a colostomy who allow their customers to have sex with their [stoma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoma_%28medicine%29) (basically, the opening on their abdomen where the colostomy comes out).

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I don’t know why. Fecal vomiting story, fine. Putting a dick in a stoma, gag.

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**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/130 "2013-10-13T09:14:43Z")

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> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> The penis beaker is just a post-sex penis-dunking cup. IMO this is not even in the same league as ant zombies, dinosaur porn, or fecal vomiting.

Oh, how disappointingly tame.

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/131 "2013-10-13T09:21:59Z")

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> [@XT](#):
>
> Well, when I had it they put it in a coke cup. It’s not liquid, but instead it’s like coke flavored breading I guess (hard to describe). It actually wasn’t that bad, though a bit sweet for my taste (most fair food is) and gave me seriously bad indigestion…and is probably extremely bad for you.

> [@terentii](#):
>
> Little deep-fried dough balls made using Coke as the hydrating agent? :dubious:

Basically. You make a batter by mixing flour, eggs, and coca-cola. Then you fry spoonfuls of the batter in hot oil. It’s a coke-flavored fritter.

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**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\
**Post date:** [October 14, 2013, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/132 "2013-10-14T00:10:24Z")

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I couldn’t believe it when I heard about “2 Girls, 1 Cup”. Or the fact that people actually willingly watch that goddamn thing.

I still haven’t seen it. My poor brain needs recovery from the porn that I _do_ watch. (If you want to call “2 Girls”, porn.)

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**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\
**Post date:** [October 14, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/133 "2013-10-14T00:53:09Z")

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Garden gnomes not available - but have a Garden Meerkat Slide 😕[http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/7207363.htm](http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/7207363.htm)

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**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\
**Post date:** [October 14, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/134 "2013-10-14T02:58:22Z")

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Quicksand fetish videos. Apparently some people are into women sinking into quicksand. I hate to admit that I even know about this. I ran across it because of a work related matter of which I will say no more. I never in a million years would have guessed that there was interest in such things, and certainly not that there was enough interest that someone could do it as a commercial venture.

This is just one example site: [http://preview.tinyurl.com/kqg8j56](http://preview.tinyurl.com/kqg8j56) This follows the two click rule even though there’s no actual nudity on the page.

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**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/135 "2013-10-17T07:42:15Z")

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> [@BurglesHams](#):
>
> An algorithmic “[ex back quiz](http://www.lovelearnings.com/breakup-conflict/ex-back-quiz.html)” that calculates the odds of you being able to get back together with an ex.

Note that this is an advertisement so a self-help book about the subject of getting you ex back, and you will have to give them your email address to get the results–which, despite the “no spam” statement, automatically signs you up for a newsletter that will most likely advertise for said book.

At least they tell you this when you get the results, alerting me to the fact that I needed to unsubscribe. I was just curious how accurate it would be. (Personally, it got an answer that seemed reasonable, but it did not, in my opinion, ask enough questions to get to that answer. And, based on the score ranges it gave, treats probability weirdly. Only a 90% chance or higher seems to count as likely.)

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**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/136 "2013-10-17T16:49:37Z")

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> [@Little\_Nemo](#):
>
> Basically. You make a batter by mixing flour, eggs, and coca-cola. Then you fry spoonfuls of the batter in hot oil. It’s a coke-flavored fritter.

The fried Coke (and fried Pepsi) I’ve had were a little different. The dough was biscuit dough made with the cola, then shaped into little doughnut-hole-type balls and fried. The maker would then take a squeeze bottle of straight cola syrup, jam it in, and fill the pastry, then follow up with a dusting of powdered sugar. The end result was basically like a miniature jelly doughnut.

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**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/137 "2013-10-18T19:46:01Z")

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> [@MaxTheVool](#):
>
> Something I learned about a few years ago is The Crown of Thorns. It’s a relic that is believed by true believes to be the actual crown that Jesus wore during the crucifixion, currently kept in Notre Dame in Paris. Sure, there are lots of such relics that people believe crazy things about, no biggie, right?

Similar to this, it was only a few years ago that I learned that there is an Orthodox Christian monestary in Ethiopia that claims to have the actual Ark of the Covenant. The head of the order is the only person who is allowed to even look at it. Regardless of whether it’s real or not (and it may only be a replica, albeit an ancient replica), I would have thought that any such item would have been stolen and/or detroyed centuries ago.

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**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-out-there-that-it-didnt-occur-to-you-even-existed/670183/138 "2013-10-18T21:00:35Z")

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> [@Diceman](#):
>
> Similar to this, it was only a few years ago that I learned that there is an Orthodox Christian monestary in Ethiopia that claims to have the actual Ark of the Covenant. The head of the order is the only person who is allowed to even look at it. Regardless of whether it’s real or not (and it may only be a replica, albeit an ancient replica), I would have thought that any such item would have been stolen and/or detroyed centuries ago.

They are quite serious about it too even if it is a fake. Whatever it is has been guarded by a virgin monk who is forbidden to set foot outside the chapel grounds until he dies. I saw a documentary that caught a glimpse of the monk and he appeared to be an wild and insane madman. They have supposedly had a succession of these monks that have guarded it continuously for over 2500 years.

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