# What's really the problem with this board **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268 "2006-09-19T15:36:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/1 "2006-09-19T15:36:41Z")
Go ahead and joke about the hamsters all you want, but they’re not the problem, at least not since the latest upgrade. Nope, hamsters are obsolete. Now the Dope is running on [guinea pig power](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQPZkSLk55w&mode=related&search=)! Unfortunately, the new staff are still learning their job, which leads to random slowdowns of the board and the occasional complete shutdown. Give them time, fellow Dopers, and I’m sure they’ll keep things rolling right along. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/2 "2006-09-19T15:46:17Z")
That’s what happens when you hire [actors](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hammy_hamster) to do menial jobs. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/3 "2006-09-19T16:06:35Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Now the Dope is running on [guinea pig power](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQPZkSLk55w&mode=related&search=)! [/QUOTE] Well, we’ve certainly had a number of pellets dropped on us today at any rate. Perhaps they can be recycled into a methane-based power source? Maybe one that could supplement the guinea pig’s power stream for those times when they take breaks to grunt and be disgruntled? ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/4 "2006-09-19T16:27:40Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Nope, hamsters are obsolete. Now the Dope is running on [guinea pig power](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQPZkSLk55w&mode=related&search=)! [/QUOTE] That looks like a hamster to me… ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/5 "2006-09-19T17:46:13Z")
Guinea pigs don’t seem like the best energy source, at least not in my experience. I used to have a couple, and got them a wheel- good exercise, right? One ignored it completely, the other used it to rest his head on. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/6 "2006-09-19T17:53:07Z")
Forget guinea pigs! Someone needs to come up with wheels big enough for [**capybaras**](http://lifesciences.asu.edu/bio494/jfouquette/Images/pet%20capybara.JPG) the largest rodents in the world. The Dope would have nary a problem with slowdowns with a bunch of them on board! I _soooo_ want one of these as a pet! Hi to our own **capybara,** by the way. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/7 "2006-09-19T18:33:27Z")
That’s a hamster. We have a guinea pig; I don’t think she’d be any good at running a board. Imagine her interjecting her opinion in the Pit: “WHEEEEK! WHEEEEK! WHEEEEK!” Guinea pigs shouldn’t run on wheels, anyway. It’s bad for their backs. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/8 "2006-09-19T19:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=Lobelia Overhill] That looks like a hamster to me… [/QUOTE] :dubious: 😕 A hamster? For sure? Why… Why… :eek: :mad: That vendor _lied_ to me! He _swore_ it was a guinea pig! :mad: :mad: Dammit, I want my $7.49 back! :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/9 "2006-09-19T21:48:51Z")
The problem is that it’s all cluttered up with “WTF is wrong with this board?” threads. There’s a somewhat cryptic stickie at the top of the About This Message Board forum, saying “we’ve called the techies, but we’re waiting,” or something. It seemed intentionally vague to me. ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/10 "2006-09-20T10:24:02Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] :dubious: 😕 A hamster? For sure? Why… Why… That vendor _lied_ to me! He _swore_ it was a guinea pig! Dammit, I want my $7.49 back! [/QUOTE] and it’s pining for the fjords… luffs ya 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/11 "2006-09-20T13:17:10Z")
[Here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPmen2qPSDw&mode=related&search=) is the source of the problem from the other night. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/12 "2006-09-20T13:27:59Z")
[QUOTE=Lobelia Overhill] That looks like a hamster to me… [/QUOTE] It’s definitely a hamster; guinea pigs are far more meaty. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/13 "2006-09-20T14:30:57Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] [Here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPmen2qPSDw&mode=related&search=) is the source of the problem from the other night. [/QUOTE] That just made my day. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/14 "2006-09-20T14:35:03Z")
Upon further research, I’ve discovered another serious glitch: In a failed attempt to maximize resources, Jerry tried doubling up hamsters on each wheel. [The results aren’t pretty.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIesi-Y7piU) ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/15 "2006-09-20T14:57:33Z")
Our crack investigator, Snidely Whiptickle, has just returned with this footage shot at the training camp where Jerry prepares new recruits for the wheel. I leave the conclusions for you to draw: [Boot camp for the SDMB Rodent Corps](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K_cjmopYYc) ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/16 "2006-09-20T15:29:01Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Upon further research, I’ve discovered another serious glitch: In a failed attempt to maximize resources, Jerry tried doubling up hamsters on each wheel. [The results aren’t pretty.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIesi-Y7piU) [/QUOTE] I keep telling him to upgrade to [cats,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5Fg6KFcOsU&NR) but he doesn’t listen to me. Probably because I don’t use Linux. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/17 "2006-09-20T15:45:08Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Our crack investigator, Snidely Whiptickle, has just returned with this footage shot at the training camp where Jerry prepares new recruits for the wheel. I leave the conclusions for you to draw: [Boot camp for the SDMB Rodent Corps](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K_cjmopYYc) [/QUOTE] Typically, you’ve got one rodent doing the work and two others going along for the ride. It’s no wonder things are so slow. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/18 "2006-09-20T15:46:38Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] I keep telling him to upgrade to [cats,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5Fg6KFcOsU&NR) but he doesn’t listen to me. Probably because I don’t use Linux. [/QUOTE] That’s . . . that’s _cool_. I so have to get one of these things, I’ve got a cat that could use the exercise. ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/19 "2006-09-20T15:58:19Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Upon further research, I’ve discovered another serious glitch: In a failed attempt to maximize resources, Jerry tried doubling up hamsters on each wheel. [The results aren’t pretty.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIesi-Y7piU) [/QUOTE] damn you to Hull, I pee-ed myself!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268/20 "2006-09-20T16:43:21Z")
The way things have gone lately, I suspect _we_ are the guinea pigs! I hear meerkats work great. Until they stand up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-really-the-problem-with-this-board/373268.md?page=2)