# What's sexier: innocence or experience? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111 "2005-07-12T02:53:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/21 "2005-07-12T07:16:46Z")
\*\*What’s sexier: innocence or experience?\*\*A mix. It’s about _two people_. It’s not about the performance of some ritual. Unless that’s what secures your tray table. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/22 "2005-07-12T09:25:34Z")
~sniffles~ No virgin whores? ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/23 "2005-07-12T09:25:35Z")
> [@Large Marge](#): > > I don’t have the patience for teaching; I tried it once, and didn’t find it very satisfying. I’m with Marge. It takes patience to teach an experienced lover what turns you on. Having to teach the basics is too frustrating. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/24 "2005-07-12T10:08:12Z")
Is _nobody_ going to suggest approaching the experienced twin and saying “what say you and me teach your sis a trick or two?”… nobody? Must be just me then. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Harmonix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonix)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/25 "2005-07-12T10:17:02Z")
Magnet, you are a genius. I’ll take experienced please. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/26 "2005-07-12T10:59:50Z")
Experienced, please. The virgins (or innocents) I’ve been with _won’t let go_! I just shook one off at Christmas (at least I sincerely hope so), and one still sends threatening letters to my last address. We’ve been broken up for over five years now. I am married to my sexiest person I can think of (d’awww, how overly sugary sweet! No, seriously, I’m not just saying it because he’s my husband - no one else comes close in my eyes), so my opinion is moot. I married a gentle, loving, _experienced_ lover. No weird mind games, distrust, wondering what other lovers would be like… for us, the curiousity is gone. We experiment with each other a lot, and teach each other many new things, and things never get dull. Yes, we make beautiful _experienced_ music together (I made first chair flute this year! ba da bum _crash_…). But since we’re both experienced, we know what the other pastures are like. Neither of us wants _crabgrass_. :eek: YMWV. - - My sincerest apologies for any awful, terrible puns my post contains this early morning. I’m very tired and my brain finds very stupid things quite amusing right now. I could regret it in the afternoon when I wake up. Or think myself quite clever, then. Either way, I apologise. It’s inherited. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/27 "2005-07-12T11:13:58Z")
I go both ways, in this as in everything. If I see a hot woman with small breasts, I’ll find her breast size very sexy. If I see a hot woman with large breasts, I’ll find her breast size very sexy. Not just in a “because they’re on her” kind of way, but I’ll think “damn I love small/big breasts” to myself. It’s the same in this case. I’d probably flip a coin. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/28 "2005-07-12T11:18:05Z")
If I were a male, I would want a hot virginal thing. Those first few months of sex are _unbeatable_\* in that department. You just cannot match the intensity of it all at that time period. Ever. This is not saying that Experience never matches up, it comes (heh) with intense moments, but not like that Tsunami of " gotta have it…can’t get enough…when will I see him/her again…wah…it hurts so much right now…" This does not mean I want to be intimate with some 18 year old buff boy. The emotional insecurity of this guy and the fact that I’ve got 20 years on him will either confirm the fact he is gay Stella, is dat you? or thinking I have money (HAH!). I want someone on the same playing level or just a little bit higher. Learning is half the fun. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/29 "2005-07-12T12:33:17Z")
Experience. Cuts down on all the screaming and the “No, Please, no!” stuff. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/30 "2005-07-12T12:54:28Z")
What was that retarded tag line for a perfume a long time ago? “Sensual, but not too far from innocence” Meh. If forced to chose, I go with experience, period. But I think **Snow Bo** got it right - what matters is enthusiasm. And a willingness to listen and learn. Or - doesn’t Dan Savage describe it as “GGG” - Good, Giving and Game? or something like that… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/31 "2005-07-12T13:12:03Z")
> [@Snowboarder Bo](#): > > If I can interject, since I already answered the OP, the one single thing I find _sexiest_ is **enthusiasm**. I agree. Although as a girl, I have to say I would probably pick the more experienced one. BUT…the biggest advantage of virginity is it goes away, IMO. And the journey can be fun. Still, I’d rather have someone who’s been there done that most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/32 "2005-07-12T13:16:56Z")
Put me down for **experienced**. Virgins are for throwing into volcanoes and giving to various monsters and upeasing evil gods and stuff. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/33 "2005-07-12T13:21:00Z")
> [@Snowboarder Bo](#): > > If I can interject, since I already answered the OP, the one single thing I find _sexiest_ is **enthusiasm**. We got a winnah!!! At this point I think I would care less about either so long as they really, really want to be there, and are enthusiastic about the whole thing. Now, having said that, in my more youthful days, between say 17 and about 22-23, most of the women I dated were older than me. Some as much as 15 years older. I believe in an earlier thread I mentioned an encounter with one of my former teachers in fact. In those days, experience was definitely a plus for me, I was in a learning mode. These days, and assuming not being happily married, I think the inexperience would be a definite turn-on. Maybe a chance to give back to society, and re-impart all these years of wisdom?? 😛 Who does he think he is???, The Great Svengali? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/34 "2005-07-12T13:23:14Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Put me down for **experienced**. Virgins are for throwing into volcanoes and giving to various monsters and upeasing evil gods and stuff. 😛 Then again, there’s a virgin male Doper or two that I’d probably make an exception for. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/35 "2005-07-12T13:42:29Z")
Seeing as I am not exactly widely experienced, in the sense of sheer numbers of exes, I’ll go for the innocent guy. I could handle a virgin. Heck, with one of them, you don’t have to override the whole “but so-and-so loooooved when I did that” thing. You get to teach them to do stuff exactly the way YOU like it. You are their best lover ever. That sounds fun to me. IRL I went for a nerdish guy with limited experience, similar to my own. It’s working out perfectly, on all fronts. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/36 "2005-07-12T13:46:23Z")
It would depend on two things. Just what expierences does Carla Gugino\_1 have and like? If she is going to want to poo on me then I think I’ll go with the virgin. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/37 "2005-07-12T15:00:24Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Then again, there’s a virgin male Doper or two that I’d probably make an exception for. You can’t say stuff like that and leave out the critical details! G’on luv… I won’t tell! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/38 "2005-07-12T15:03:19Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > You can’t say stuff like that and leave out the critical details! > > G’on luv… I won’t tell! 😉 Well, I can’t. The main one I have in mind has never told me if he is or not, but I’m betting on \*is \* (a virgin). Either way, he’d be _mortified_. So…sorry. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/39 "2005-07-12T15:07:39Z")
Alright then, we’ll do it the hard way. We’re going to have to start tossing dopers in the pond. I forget, do virgins float or sink? No matter… who’s first?! ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111/40 "2005-07-12T15:18:36Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Alright then, we’ll do it the hard way. We’re going to have to start tossing dopers in the pond. I forget, do virgins float or sink? No matter… who’s first?! If she floats, she’s a virgin… witch :eek: Or a virgin duck. Whatever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-sexier-innocence-or-experience/312111.md?page=3)