# What's so bad about sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 28, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414 "2003-07-28T12:10:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/21 "2003-07-28T22:22:24Z")
If I were a parent, I would sense the obligation to rear my child properly and teach them right from wrong. The trouble is that these days it isn’t that the kids don’t know right from wrong–they just can’t make up their minds. Under the law in most states, the parent is liable before the law. If I had a son who knocked up his girlfriend I could be damn certain that her parents would want to sue me blind, if not have me prosecuted as 1) an accessory or 2) a negligent parent. (I confess I have not researched this in [Corpus Juris Secundum.)](http://library.uww.edu/guides/cjs.htm) Granted this is an old cliche, but when my teenagers are under my roof they’ll follow my rules or get out. It’s as simple as that. Dougie\_monty ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/22 "2003-07-28T22:35:29Z")
> [@](#): > > As for the other two risks, I hope you agree that there is much less risk in a long-term monogamous relationship. I’m not sure the length of a relationship reduces the chances someone will cheat, and I’m sure it doesn’t reduce the risk of disease. Nor am I sure that kids are more likely to cheat on each other or sleep around than adults. > [@](#): > > The trouble is that these days it isn’t that the kids don’t know right from wrong–they just can’t make up their minds. Yes, because it’s only recently that teens started having sex. > [@](#): > > I think the age of consent in my state is 16. That may vary from state to state – I’m not sure. [Yes, it varies](http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm). (With thanks to **annaplurabelle** for posting this in another thread.) > [@](#): > > Teens aren’t all that sharp with using birth control even when they know they need it. Wouldn’t this be a reason to _educate them more about it_? This argument seems backward to me. The fact that teens misuse birth control, don’t think they need it, or just don’t use it strikes me as really good evidence that teens have to be taught what’s what when it comes to sex. People honestly believe girls can’t get pregnant their first time, or during their period, and that the rhythm method works. I’m not saying any of those things are unique to the United States, but they’re dangerous and wrong. ---
**Author:** ![typhoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed8c4c/32.png) [@typhoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typhoon)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/23 "2003-07-28T22:36:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kunilou \* > **I just don’t think they should do it.** Yeah, well, I’m a teenager, and I don’t think _you_ should be getting any either. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![iwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a87d85/32.png) [@iwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iwire)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/24 "2003-07-28T22:47:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kunilou \* > \*\*. Frankly, he’s not mature enough to handle sex. \*\* What makes you think he is not already having sex? Mature or not he will, or does want it. Heartbreak is going to happen and he might as well learn to deal with it. I am the father of 3 and 5 year old girls the thought of them contracting an STD or getting pregnant scares me, but I will never try to fool myself that they will listen to me if I tell them do not have sex. Sex is part of life and I am sure they will be having sex before I would want them to. IMO the responsible thing is to educate them and hope they make good choices in how they handle it. ---
**Author:** ![iwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a87d85/32.png) [@iwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iwire)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/25 "2003-07-28T22:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dougie\_monty \* > \*\*If I had a son who knocked up his girlfriend I could be damn certain that her parents would want to sue me blind, if not have me prosecuted as 1) an accessory or 2) a negligent parent. \*\* Has anyone _ever_ heard of this happening? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/26 "2003-07-28T23:18:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iwire \* > \*\*What makes you think he is not already having sex? > > [snip] > IMO the responsible thing is to educate them and hope they make good choices in how they handle it. \*\* First off, I didn’t say I didn’t think he was already having sex. I said I didn’t think he was mature enough to handle it. Secondly, I have made sure my children are educated. Marley23, I said “a long-term monogamous relationship.” Monogamous implies that no one is cheating. Typhoon, I’m a middle-aged, married guy with three kids. If you want to have a contest to see which one of us can go without sex the longest, I’ll meet you anywhere, anytime.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/27 "2003-07-29T00:04:27Z")
Well when I was your age we didn’t have any teen sex and we liked it! Or if we did we sure as heck didn’t have no kind of soft bed to have sex upon. NO SIR! We had sex in the back seat of small cars or outside on rocks with bugs biting us and WE LIKED IT! Ok, we really didn’t like it all that much. the bugs and rocks I mean, we really liked the sex. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/28 "2003-07-29T00:40:34Z")
While I agree teaching kids about safe sex and all is the best way to go-I do think that quite a few kids have sex way too young. I post a lot at another message board which has a forum for discussions about sex, and honestly, the ignorance there of the young people astounds and frightens me. I would hope that people would wait until they’re MATURE enough to deal with it. But not teaching them how and refusing to discuss it, other than saying, “Sex is bad unless you’re married,” isn’t helping either, and only makes it worse. ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/29 "2003-07-29T01:10:45Z")
whether kids have sex too young (pre-age-of-consent) or not is really a bit off topic here, but i’m gonna put in my tuppence worth of hijack in on it. i feel that some people aren’t mature enough for a proper sexual relationship at 20 (girl i know got pregnant first time at 20 from some lowlife POS who then ran off. she didnt think to ask him to use a condom :rolleyes:) and that some 17 year olds i know have been in stable relationships since they were 13 or 14 with the same person, without getting pregnant… anyway, hijack over, my other point is that the whole draconian (dammit i love that word :)) ‘no sex before marriage’ thingy causes a lot of problems, and can lead to divorce. how? think about it. lets be honest here. guys think about sex a lot. now, say a guy has the whole ‘no sex before marriage’ complex in his head, he’s gonna marry largely in part cos he can finally get his rocks off. and we all know that a relationship based on sex is a shortlived one. therefore divorce may follow. also, [gripe] i wonder how many of the parents that did the whole evil ‘no sex before marriage or you’re gonna burn in HELL!!!’ thing to their kids really didnt do anything until they were married themselves? i know of people that converted to jehovah’s witnesses (yeah, they have the thingy too) after marriage, and are currently causing their kids (my age-ish) no small amount of angst and inner conflict because of this… [/gripe] this seems to be my night/early morning for writing long posts, altho strangely my eyes are so blurry i can barely see the keyboard… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/30 "2003-07-29T01:41:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dougie\_monty \* > \*\*Under the law in most states, the parent is liable before the law. If I had a son who knocked up his girlfriend I could be damn certain that her parents would want to sue me blind, if not have me prosecuted as 1) an accessory or 2) a negligent parent. > \*\* I’ve never heard of that. Pressure on the boy to marry the pregnant girl, yes, but never any law suit. **"Granted this is an old cliche, but when my teenagers are under my roof they’ll follow my rules or get out. It’s as simple as that. Dougie\_monty"** When you get to be the parent of teenagers, you’ll find it isn’t “as simple as that”. Things get complex in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![Tommyturtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Tommyturtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommyturtle)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/31 "2003-07-29T01:42:54Z")
Parents almost always are sure THEIR kids are not having sex My ex-girlfried used to be forever telling me her son wasn’t sexually active…she was soooooooo certain Right up to the day she walked in on him and his girlfriend having sex on her bed when he thought she would be out all day I do not have children myself but I would think you have to assume your kids are SA and give them all the information to at least make it as safe as possible THEN tell them not to do it…they of course probably won’t listen but at least there’s a better chance they will live through their experimenting stage So someday…hopefully far along the line…they will have kids that torment them as much as they did to you and you can laugh and laugh and laugh ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/32 "2003-07-29T02:04:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > NO SIR! We had sex in the back seat of small cars or outside on rocks with bugs biting us and WE LIKED IT! > > Ok, we really didn’t like it all that much. the bugs and rocks I mean, we really liked the sex. **Zebra** , after all these years, I have finally found you, remember that one night, we did it two times. Once in the back seat and once on the rocks. Seriously, I have to agree with **iwire** , kids are going to have sex weather their parents like it or not. Its just as well to inform them how to protect themselves from pregnancy and STDs, and hope they make the choice that is right for them. I do not think any 15 year old is emotionally responsible enough to have sex. I know a couple of 15 y/os who are having sex one is keeping it from her mother, and one is not. You can ask yourselves what kind of mother _lets_ her 15 year old have sex, but I can tell you this person IMO is a better parent for knowing she can not forbid her daughter to have sex. She can only give her the information that will keep her safe. The other parent, will one day be in for a shock when perfectlyinnocentgirl comes home pregnant or with a STD. She is convinced that only “bad” people have kids who have sex. I will never lie to my kids about when I began having sex, nor will I expect them to remain virgins until they are married. I think everyone should have sex with at least two people before they get married. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/33 "2003-07-29T03:28:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > **Well when I was your age we didn’t have any teen sex and we liked it! Or if we did we sure as heck didn’t have no kind of soft bed to have sex upon. NO SIR! We had sex in the back seat of small cars or outside on rocks with bugs biting us and WE LIKED IT!** What are you talking about? Cars were so much bigger back then. My dad’s got a '57 Chevy and you could raise a family in there, much less get laid. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/34 "2003-07-29T03:39:12Z")
Seems to me the best way to keep your teenager’s from having sex is to pass along genes that give her bad eyes, bad skin, and poor social grace in high school. It sure worked for my parents and BoringMom’s parents. ---
**Author:** ![Tommyturtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Tommyturtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommyturtle)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/35 "2003-07-29T03:40:45Z")
That’s why he liked it…the lucky bastard ---
**Author:** ![Tommyturtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Tommyturtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommyturtle)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/36 "2003-07-29T03:46:55Z")
So no ones’ head explodes from trying to figure out how exactly my last post fits in with what **BoringDad** just said my comment refers to what **SanibelMan** was saying ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/37 "2003-07-29T03:48:00Z")
> [@](#): > > lets be honest here. guys think about sex a lot. now, say a guy has the whole ‘no sex before marriage’ complex in his head, he’s gonna marry largely in part cos he can finally get his rocks off. and we all know that a relationship based on sex is a shortlived one. therefore divorce may follow. I don’t think waiting until marriage does the women any favors either - when it comes to sex, practice makes perfect. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/38 "2003-07-29T06:58:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ScilaX \* > \*\*Later when my gf has gone home, both my rents sit me down and tell me never to take her into my bedroom again cos we’re “both young” and they’d be extremely angry if it happens again. > > WE WERE WATCHING THE TV!!! > > _sighs_ \*\* When I was living at home I wasn’t allowed to have my boyfriend in the house at all, let alone my room. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/39 "2003-07-29T07:02:54Z")
Personally, I’d have HATED marrying a virgin. ESPECIALLY if I was a virgin myself. You learn new things from new partners, and I’d rather my partner had some range of experiences before they climb into bed with me. ---
**Author:** ![Svt4Him](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414/40 "2003-07-29T07:12:02Z")
Teaching people about disease use to be called “Safe Sex”…now it’s called “Safer Sex” as it’s not really save. When looking at it, and my view has changed with my age, there are qualitative and quantitative reasons to refrain. One of the few things I’d change if I could go back again would be my view of sex. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sex/191414.md?page=3)