# What's so bad about sucking, anyway? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 9, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068 "2002-08-09T02:03:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/1 "2002-08-09T02:03:37Z")
That really sucks. We’ve all heard it, most have said it. But I think most would agree that being the sucked or the suckee (in accordance with your preference and/or equipment) is by and large a pleasurable experience. But somewhere, somebody must have been sucked, or done some sucking and decided that it was the worst thing ever. That much I can accept as possible- maybe a small handfull of people don’t like it. But apparently enough people felt the same way to give the expression popular acceptance. How in the world did a phrase - describing what 99% of the general population regards as a cloud 9 experience - come to have such a negative meaning? ---
**Author:** ![jaybee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6de8d8/32.png) [@jaybee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaybee)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/2 "2002-08-09T02:32:50Z")
It has gay conitations when said among guys. I have heard women exclaim “So do I” when someone commits that something sucks. That always seems to redirect the conversation . . . ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/3 "2002-08-09T02:41:54Z")
I am continually amazed that people use “to suck” to mean a negative experience. Wish they would stop a moment to consider the original of that piece of slang. It comes from a day, not too long ago, when the lowest thing you could say about a woman is that she performed oral sex; and the lowest thing you could say about a man was that he was homosexual. Haven’t we progressed beyond those days? ---
**Author:** ![Phlint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c89c15/32.png) [@Phlint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlint)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/4 "2002-08-09T03:05:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Haven’t we progressed beyond those days? Some have, most haven’t, but regardless, I’d say it’s a pretty safe bet that the majority of people using “suck” in a negative way are not considering the etymology of the word, it’s just another common phrase that people use without thinking. Just like the commonly misused phrase “I could care less.” If the people using this stopped and thought about it, in most cases it makes no sense at all. What they really should be saying is “I couldn’t care less.” ---
**Author:** ![Gjorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@Gjorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gjorp)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/5 "2002-08-09T04:19:29Z")
The etymology of a phrase isn’t what matters, it’s how the word is used. That’s what gives the word its meaning. Nowadays when someone says ‘you suck’, they don’t mean you suck other men’s dicks, they are just repeating a put down. Actually, ‘suck’ in the negative sense means to do something badly, be something poor, etc… ie. ‘That TV show sucks’ would not be taken by anyone to mean ‘That TV show performs oral sex’. ---
**Author:** ![RM\_Mentock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@RM\_Mentock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RM_Mentock)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/6 "2002-08-09T04:44:57Z")
I think most of its popularity arises from its general admissibility (it’s not one of the [big eight](http://staff.dstc.edu.au/bill/carlin.html), after all, kinda two-way), so children are allowed to use it but it still raises a glimmer of horror on their parents faces, since their parents are familiar with the entymology[.](http://michael.mangold.com/spider.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/7 "2002-08-09T04:52:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gjorp \* > \*\*The etymology of a phrase isn’t what matters, it’s how the word is used. That’s what gives the word its meaning. > \*\* “He jewed me out of $10.00” “The vacation package turned out to be a gyp.” If you don’t really **mean** you’re talking about Jews or Gypsies, or if you don’t **know** you’re talking about Jews or Gypsies, then it doesn’t matter. BTW, until the 1990s you could not use the slang term “to suck” on network television in the U.S. That’s how recent it was generally considered offensive. ---
**Author:** ![Aro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@Aro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aro)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/8 "2002-08-09T12:02:14Z")
I’ve heard old ladies on the street saying _‘tosser’,_ obviously not realising the original derivation of the word. No one considers it anything like as offensive as _‘wanker’._ Always amsues that _‘that’s bollocks’_ means _'terrible / awful ’_ **whereas** _‘that’s the dogs bollocks’_ means _‘fantastic’ or ‘brilliant’_ ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/9 "2002-08-09T12:37:40Z")
Interesting - I had always associated “that sucks” with the sharp intake of air that happens when you see something painfull happen to another person Perhaps I am simply pure and chaste!! 😃 Grim ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/10 "2002-08-09T12:52:35Z")
Recently having come home with the driest mouth in existance, and having made a big glass of raspberry lemon diet ice tea, and having put a straw into it and then realizing my mouth was too dry to suck, I can tell you that being able to sex is sometimes the best thing in the universe. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/11 "2002-08-09T12:54:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Recently having come home with the driest mouth in existance, and having made a big glass of raspberry lemon diet ice tea, and having put a straw into it and then realizing my mouth was too dry to suck, I can tell you that being able to sex is sometimes the best thing in the universe. 😃 \*\* Being able to SUCK! Boy, I ain’t never gonna live down that Freudian slip :smack: :wally 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/12 "2002-08-09T12:55:44Z")
> [@](#): > > …being able to sex is sometimes the best thing in the universe. OK Annie. What’s _really_ on your mind? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![joyofdiscord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@joyofdiscord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyofdiscord)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/13 "2002-08-09T17:42:44Z")
I imagine it’s probably a mix of three factors. First, it reflects the simple trend of turning words describing sex acts into negative slang. “I got fucked over.” “I got screwed.” “I got the shaft.” This would be the primary cause, but I suspect there’s also some misogyny and homophobia thrown into the mix for good measure, suggesting that those that do the sucking, women (straight women) and gay men, are substandard and worthy of derision. [tangent] However, do take note that vulgar slang is, in large part, an equal opportunity offender. While some feminists quip, “Why must my genitalia be an insult?!” referring to “pussy”, they neglect to realize that that’s not a gender-specific issue. Ever called someone a “dick”? Remember “fucked” “screwed” and “the shaft”? The implication there is always that the penis causes trouble, big trouble, screws everything up (there I go again). This is how penes are viewed by Western culture, not as glorious mighty phalluses worthy of worship, as the “silly” branches of feminism might suggest. Of course, on the other hand, having “balls” is considered, more or less, to be a compliment. It’s just as often used to point out someone doing something foolish and overly daring, but it is a good example of genuine gender bias in the slang game. [/tangent] ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/14 "2002-08-09T19:11:02Z")
What does _tosser_ mean? As slang, it is unknown in America. ---
**Author:** ![Aro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@Aro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aro)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/15 "2002-08-11T18:00:18Z")
_Tosser_ - same meaning as _wanker_, only less ‘rude’. From the phrase “to toss off”. Anyway…moving swiftly on. ---
**Author:** ![TVGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/16 "2002-08-11T19:28:42Z")
I’ve always aquainted the term “it sucks” with ideas like “sucking swap water”, or “sucking muck” As to the other connotations, I never “suck” - I always perform expert fellatio. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-bad-about-sucking-anyway/123068/17 "2002-08-11T21:17:02Z")
What about “suck my dick”? It’s not exactly removed from the etymology. It very clearly shows an attitude that performing oral sex on a man is a degrading act.