Before I ever commit suicide, I will run off and be a hobo and do heroin, and essentially go crazy, because if you’re gonna do it, at least ruin all of your other options on the way out.
But in the meantime, I went and got some SSRIs which made all of the above a moot point. Exercise and diet are huge, but alot of it is purely chemical.
Once you’ve been treated, the misery in the world won’t affect you nearly as much. And you’ll realize that you’ll be dead soon enough, so you might as well take existsnece, for its good and bad, until death meets you in its natural course.
If you’re not willing to go be a hobo, at least try the medications before you off yourself.
I was thinking about this some more, as existential pondering is one of my likes, and I came up with a very succinct phrase that sums up the issue well for me anyway. Pardon if it’s already been said.
I’m sure there’s one more. Maybe… Change it? Really, that’s your best option in every conceivable way. And there are always ways to make that happen. Always.
You look to the beautiful things in life that surround and affect you. If all you see is thorns, you’ll never find the roses. There are roses under your noses. You have but to open your nostrils.
I was in a pretty crap mood today. People suck. No one loves poor tdn. I can’t even strike up a simple conversation with a stranger. On top of that, the weather sucks ass. Things were bleak. I went into the breakroom to fill my waterbottle, and in there was a coworker’s daughter. Someone I had seen before but never even thought to speak to. (And as it turn’s out, I had painted a picture of her toddlerhood without even realizing I was doing it.) I commented on how her lunch looked good, and before I knew it I was involved in this fantastic conversation with what felt like a lifelong friend. I enjoyed talking to her, and I know she enjoyed talking to me. It was maybe 2 minutes of pure joy, until the mother came in and dominated the conversation. I’m not crazy about the mom. But I’ll carry those 2 minutes around with me for the rest of the day. It was so worth it, waking up today.
Excellent! Nothing like an adventure, I say!
People can amaze you, some current events are exciting, and the future holds a lot of promise.
There is part of every human that feels completely alone. At dinner the other night, I was remarking to my husband, that even though we do well, have great kids, upstanding members of the community, blah, blah, blah-- there is part of me that feels like I am unimportant, and life is one long pointless pain in the ass. Rationally I know that’s not true, but I think it exists in all of us. I was telling him that if I died tomorrow, the church would be standing room only, yet I feel not deeply connected to many people.
The next day I stopped by a friends house, who is moving to AZ soon. Now she is just what I would consider a casual social friend, no deep ties. She remarked how when she first moved here, I was her first friend, how I helped her, how I was a good model for her, how much she is going to miss me, how much I had an impact in her life. I just about cried. She was crying.
GuanoLad you have meaning, you have worth, you have an impact on many, much more than you will ever know.
It is said we have influence on at least 250 people in our lifetime. Do it. Do it well.
Guanolad, I’ve found three excellent musical cures for the state of mind you’ve described.
Peter Gabriel’s “Don’t Give Up” (Guest vocals by Kate Bush!)
The Grateful Dead’s “Shades of Grey”
Pink Floyd’s “Free Four”.
The way I see it, solipistically (Sp?) time is divided neatly into three parts. The infinitity up to one’s existance, life, and the eternity afterwards. I think the middle part is the most interesting, and we find out all too soon anyway. If the music doesn’t do it for you, try ice cream and/or cat toys. There is something primally joyful about letting loose and batting at stuffed mouse around the floor. Try it. The ice cream speaks for itself.
Nothing. Life is a series of gambles, losses, disappointments, failures and struggles. For me, anyway.
I am here because I can be useful to the people I love. As long as I can comfort them in their sadness, support them in their adventures, encourage them in their undertakings and admire their incredible abilities and gifts, I can feel as if life is worthwhile.
“Things get better everyday you stay alive
Then I’m amazed every day that the sun decides to rise
Every minute, every hour, is another chance to change
Life is beautiful and terrible and strange.”
I’ve been through some bad times and some issues. There’s no shame in getting help if you need it. In the end, you just have to live with the bad and make the good. If you’re putting out more good than bad, then yes, existence is “worth it.” And it’s not that hard to do. I’m not all that religious, but the world becoming a bit better as a result of your existence is the equivalent of performing a small miracle. All the best to you.
I suspect that if any of the posters were dragged outside this instant by armed men, put up against a wall and told that they were going to be executed in five minutes time all this philosophising would vanish in micro seconds without any deep thought and there would be a cosensus that “fucking right I want to live whether my lifes pointless or not.”
I wouldn’t put any money on that bet. It’s probably true that I may rail against an unjust death, but an inevitable one is something I can easily resign myself to.
I think this is really good advice. The key is really to focus on what is positive in your life…really, really focus on it. Try to make more of it, whatever it is that makes you happy. The only point of existence that I can think of is just to get as much pleasure out of it as you can. Really, can you think of one thing that makes you happy? Do that, and try to forget about the rest. As Sapo said, turn the stuff that bores or bothers you into moments of Zen. You might try some mediation. Try different things, including meds if you need them, and think about how happy those things are making you. If it isn’t working, try something else, but keep your life fresh.
I have a strong life force. I could NEVER contemplate suicide. But I’ve also never been happy. That’s OK though - I might be happy one day. And even if I’m not, it’s been an interesting ride.
Re: The idea of being dragged out and put up against a wall…
Well, frankly, I don’t think I would want to live in a world where that could happen. So go ahead and shoot me.
One qualifier…
IF there was any possible way that I could grin, beg and lie my way out of that situation, so that I could fight against the bastids who want to behave that way, then watch me suck it up… Hell, I would even put on one of their uniforms, if it meant I could have access to a bunch of them while they were sleeping, while I had one of their pretty guns…
Likewise. I have seriously considered creating my own portable DNR order, at the ripe old age of 27, so that if I am in an accident and I flatline, that’s it for me. Kind of like the “No blood products” cards the Jehovah’s Witnesses carry around in their wallets.
