# What's so horrible about sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 16, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254 "2009-09-16T00:40:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/41 "2009-09-16T18:14:16Z")
These politicians know full well the attitudes of their constituents regarding infidelity (or they are supposed to) and yet they go ahead and dip their wick. In many cases they pander heavily to that attitude too. That is their choice and it’s the choice of their constituents to not vote for them anymore. This has been going on since the beginning of politics. The oh so weepy crying and moaning about how everybody else except the cheating politicians is “hung up on sex” doesn’t buy many votes. If a candidate’s constituents wear funny hats, walk backward and hate sex, shouldn’t that candidate be excepted to respect that? A lot of these guys are all for butting their own noses into everybody else’s business in the form of laws and regulations, yet they cry and weasel like a 5 year old caught with a hand in the cookie jar when someone doesn’t like what they are doing. Those people shouldn’t be called “leaders”. They are easily replaced and there is a long line of people waiting. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/42 "2009-09-16T18:33:14Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > What would a strategy of acceptance toward (R) Politicians being found out cheating/being homo/wathcing porn result in? > > If the next time an (R) Politician was busted on a “moral” issue like this, the Democratic response was NOT “Look at the hypocrite” but rather “Guys, this has nothing to do with his performance as a legislator and should be a private issue between him and his partner”. What would the result be? This is not a rethorical question or a trap by the way, I’m just wondering. People might wonder why the same (R) politicians don’t then extend the same courtesy to gay couples, pregnant women, etc.? ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/43 "2009-09-16T22:10:18Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > I would submit that people tend to gravitate to people who share their values. > > Drinkers hang around with other drinkers, sports fans hang around with other sports fans, church goers hang around with other church goers, etc. etc. etc. > > You are probably around a lot of people who share similar attitudes about cheating and sex. Therefore the numbers you personally observe are skewed. Not true in this case, since I am actually very much against cheating on a personal level (I just think it’s between the people involved). True, I have enabled it, but that (to me) is not the same thing (might be a rationalisation). I guess I use the same logic as gundealers: “If I hadn’t supplied it they would have gotten it somewhere else”. Anyway, point is that the selection of people is not a bunch of polysexual party people with no morals. I would be willing to accept that cheating (or at least admitting to it) is more common in my culture though. ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/44 "2009-09-16T22:12:06Z")
And again: \*What would a strategy of acceptance toward ® Politicians being found out cheating/being homo/wathcing porn result in? If the next time an ® Politician was busted on a “moral” issue like this, the Democratic response was NOT “Look at the hypocrite” but rather “Guys, this has nothing to do with his performance as a legislator and should be a private issue between him and his partner”. What would the result be? This is not a rethorical question or a trap by the way, I’m just wondering.\* I’m not asking for reasons not to do this, I am asking for speculation on what the effect of consistently doing it would be. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/45 "2009-09-16T23:56:42Z")
> [@Squink](#): > > Similarly, a member of the Spanish inquisition found to be practising actual witchcraft should be let off the hook because that doesn’t impact his ability to torture little old ladies whom the neighbors have taken a dislike to. “Bring on the comfy chair!” ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/46 "2009-09-17T03:45:45Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > And again: > > \*What would a strategy of acceptance toward (R) Politicians being found out cheating/being homo/wathcing porn result in? > > If the next time an (R) Politician was busted on a “moral” issue like this, the Democratic response was NOT “Look at the hypocrite” but rather “Guys, this has nothing to do with his performance as a legislator and should be a private issue between him and his partner”. What would the result be? This is not a rethorical question or a trap by the way, I’m just wondering.\* > > I’m not asking for reasons not to do this, I am asking for speculation on what the effect of consistently doing it would be. And again sometimes it does. Sanford disappeared when he ran off to see his girlfriend. He was not doing his job. She was living in South America, that made him miss some work. If they are particularly kinky like Vitter, or closeted gay like so many repubs, they would upset their constituents. Therefore , they might be willing to give up a lot to stay undercover. It does impact their ability to govern in some circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/47 "2009-09-17T10:06:05Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > Ridiculous argument IMO. Hitler never cheated (afaik), JFK was notorious. Which is the preferred political leader? No, _that_ is a ridiculous argument. I _can_ say I don’t want JFK _or_ Hitler as a political leader, you know. I have lots of issues where I have a “one strike and you’re out” policy when it comes to politicians, cheating on your spouse and genocide are just two of them. Sure, if it came down to it, I’d vote for JFK over Hitler. But I would like to believe that in a country of 300,000,000 people you would be able to find someone who is both competent and not a scumbag. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/48 "2009-09-17T10:48:01Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > And again: > > \*What would a strategy of acceptance toward (R) Politicians being found out cheating/being homo/wathcing porn result in? > > If the next time an (R) Politician was busted on a “moral” issue like this, the Democratic response was NOT “Look at the hypocrite” but rather “Guys, this has nothing to do with his performance as a legislator and should be a private issue between him and his partner”. What would the result be? This is not a rethorical question or a trap by the way, I’m just wondering.\* > > I’m not asking for reasons not to do this, I am asking for speculation on what the effect of consistently doing it would be. I thought **Cat Fight** handled it pretty well. The effect on _me_ would be that I’d feel like I was complicit in their hypocrisy. ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/49 "2009-09-17T13:30:08Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > No, _that_ is a ridiculous argument. I _can_ say I don’t want JFK _or_ Hitler as a political leader, you know. I have lots of issues where I have a “one strike and you’re out” policy when it comes to politicians, cheating on your spouse and genocide are just two of them. > > Sure, if it came down to it, I’d vote for JFK over Hitler. But I would like to believe that in a country of 300,000,000 people you would be able to find someone who is both competent and not a scumbag. What if a doctor was caught cheating? Maybe he shouldn’t be allowed to treat patients. I mean if he can lie to his wife, why wouldn’t he lie to a stranger about a condition or what not? Or a cop! What’s to say he doesn’t lie when he takes the stand in a case. After all, he broke a vow made to god earlier, how can we ever trust him again! ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/50 "2009-09-17T13:38:15Z")
And depending on your definition of “competent” and “scumbag” you can find 0 to 300.000.000 people that fit. ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/51 "2009-09-17T14:32:13Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > What if a doctor was caught cheating? Maybe he shouldn’t be allowed to treat patients. I mean if he can lie to his wife, why wouldn’t he lie to a stranger about a condition or what not? > > Or a cop! What’s to say he doesn’t lie when he takes the stand in a case. After all, he broke a vow made to god earlier, how can we ever trust him again! There is such a thing as ‘bringing the profession into disrepute’ and doctors who have committed acts which don’t directly bear on their capacity to treat patients can be, and are, disciplined by their professional body. The same goes for many other professions. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/52 "2009-09-17T14:49:14Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > What if a doctor was caught cheating? Maybe he shouldn’t be allowed to treat patients. I mean if he can lie to his wife, why wouldn’t he lie to a stranger about a condition or what not? > > Or a cop! What’s to say he doesn’t lie when he takes the stand in a case. After all, he broke a vow made to god earlier, how can we ever trust him again! Is the doctor refusing to prescribe birth control to unmarried women then found to be having affairs with half of his patients? Is the cop frequenting prostitutes in an area where it is illegal while speaking out on the ills of society and making raids on brothels for his image (shades of Spitzer)? As with the politicians, it’s less of a concern for me as I wouldn’t keep going to that doctor in the first place. But I wonder what his patients, the ones who believe he knows what’s best, would think when they found his interpretation of God’s plan only applied to his patients. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254/53 "2009-09-21T14:37:01Z")
A little late, you folks might be interested in [this interview](http://thehill.com/20-questions/20870-20-questions-with-susan-wise-bauer) with the woman who wrote _The art of the public grovel_, a book on the subject the OP asked about and which I recommended upthread. > [@](#): > > …Sex may be a private matter. But a leader’s response to a sexual scandal cannot be private, because the scandal gives us, the voters, a little window into his personality. The response “None of your business” — which is, in more polite terms, exactly what “This is a private matter” means — tells us: “This man does not think he is accountable to you.” This is an attitude that makes voters very, very nervous. > > [snip] > > When a leader makes an honest confession [he is saying], “I am willing to be accountable to you.” When you publicly say you have sinned and you are asking the voters for forgiveness, that is making a powerful gesture toward them. Her thesis is that when a man in a position of power gets himself into a sexual scandal, it becomes a symbol for constituents’ fear that he will use his power for personal gain and prey on the public. In a proper public confession (following a ritual that has evolved over the last 100 years), he symbolically lays down his power and reassures voters that he is just like them and will not use his power wrongfully. The voters can then forgive him, giving that power back. Or not, if he missteps. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-horrible-about-sex/510254.md?page=2)