# What's so wrong in calling a woman good-looking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 6, 2013, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990 "2013-04-06T05:14:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/21 "2013-04-06T14:19:00Z")
It’s [benevolent sexism](http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/psysociety/2013/04/02/benevolent-sexism/), and it’s very much related to gender inequality. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/22 "2013-04-06T14:21:32Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > It’s a bunch of things. Harris is a very good AG and doesn’t need the “and pretty” to diminish that in a political introduction speech. It’s not quite “binders full of women” insensitive, but the same thing. I don’t agree that the “and pretty” is a diminisher of her other attributes. It’s an add-on, a bonus. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/23 "2013-04-06T14:33:27Z")
Doesn’t it imply of every woman he praises publically but doesn’t specify her good looks, “and, fellas, despite all this, she’s a dog and I wouldn’t fuck her with your dick”? Is this the problem? ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/24 "2013-04-06T14:33:47Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I don’t agree that the “and pretty” is a diminisher of her other attributes. It’s an add-on, a bonus. But if it was a male colleague, he wouldn’t have said “and easy on the eyes” or anything, would he? That’s the issue. It’s a fine line. Compliments are nice, but they can undermine authority and erode self-worth anyway. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/25 "2013-04-06T14:48:39Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > But if it was a male colleague, he wouldn’t have said “and easy on the eyes” or anything, would he? That’s the issue. > > It’s a fine line. Compliments are nice, but they can undermine authority and erode self-worth anyway. Hasn’t he said stuff like “Dick Berning, best AG in the country and the handsomest fella I know!” before? What’s the difference? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/26 "2013-04-06T14:51:16Z")
Attractive women often deal with people not taking them seriously. Or people attributing their success to their easiness on the eyes instead of the stuff between their ears. Men generally don’t have to worry about people accusing them of riding into success on their good lucks and fuckability. But women do. Can we at least agree on this? If we can, then I don’t see why it’s so hard to see why a powerful man giving a nod to a woman’s looks in a professional context could be seen as kind of tacky. Not necessarily offensive (I’m not offended as a woman), but still really off-key. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/27 "2013-04-06T14:57:40Z")
I’m literally laughing at the offenderati here on this one. You guys are insane. As already pointed out at least 3 times in this thread already, Obama makes comments about people being good looking regardless of their gender. If you as a straight man would honestly take offense from a gay male boss praising you for doing a good job in your career and also for making a comment about how handsome you are, I feel sorry for you. This is absolutely not offensive. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/28 "2013-04-06T15:08:23Z")
I do seem to recall comments about Obama being handsome, and much ado about pictures of him on the beach[in swim trunks](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/22/obama-shirtless-in-hawaii_n_152873.html) (cover of some mag I think). And pictures of a [shirtless Santorum](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/16/rick-santorum-reacts-to-shirtless-picture_n_1354749.html) sunning himself poolside had him having to make statements about how he needed to get to exercising. Lots of introductions made of Paul Ryan commenting on his looks and fitness program … and then his fibs about his fitness accomplishemnts. The reality is that males are also being judged on their looks and comments are being made. It is stupid for Obama to comment on how good looking someone is whether that person be male or female and as already cited _he does it for both genders_. Context is everything. Teasing a friend about being good looking after otherwise singing his/her, in this case her, praises? Not sexist (benevolent or otherwise) but surprisingly clueless that it would be read as such. He is smart enough to know better. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Made_French_Toast_For_You)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/29 "2013-04-06T15:43:01Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I’m literally laughing at the offenderati here on this one. You guys are insane. As already pointed out at least 3 times in this thread already, Obama makes comments about people being good looking regardless of their gender. There’s a difference between commenting on a man’s looks and commenting on a woman’s looks, and if you or others don’t understand that, then it becomes quite clear why you all don’t find it offensive (or at least in poor taste). Politics is still a man’s world. Women are still uniquely judged and acted upon based on their looks. These two things together should clue everyone in to why it’s inappropriate. > [@DSeid](#): > > I do seem to recall comments about Obama being handsome, and much ado about pictures of him on the beach in swim trunks (cover of some mag I think). And pictures of a shirtless Santorum sunning himself poolside had him having to make statements about how he needed to get to exercising. Lots of introductions made of Paul Ryan commenting on his looks and fitness program … and then his fibs about his fitness accomplishemnts. > > The reality is that males are also being judged on their looks and comments are being made. For every shirtless Santorum picture there are approximately one million comments on Michelle Obama’s arms, or Hilary Clinton’s wrinkles. I fear this is starting to turn into one of those “well, men are equally objectified, so what’s the big deal!” threads. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/30 "2013-04-06T15:53:55Z")
I don’t think it’s a huge deal, but it was a mistake, and Obama was right to apologize for it. I think [this](http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/why-obamas-best-looking-attorney-general-comment-was-a-gaffe/274701/) explains it best. ---
**Author:** ![huck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@huck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/huck)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/31 "2013-04-06T16:02:30Z")
It’s just not a remark that anyone would ever make about a man in a similar setting. Certainly he could have said things much worse than this, but it’s similar to the way a female public figure will be described physically in news accounts (“the blonde, petite senator”) where men generally aren’t. Sexist, in a mild and chuckly sort of way, but still sexist. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/32 "2013-04-06T16:08:37Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I’m literally laughing at the offenderati here on this one. You guys are insane. As already pointed out at least 3 times in this thread already, Obama makes comments about people being good looking regardless of their gender. OK, so it’s a stupid thing to do regardless of gender. Now, how big a deal this? Not big at all. But there just isn’t any need for the president to do this so publicly. He’s supposed to be a savvy politician, not some twenty-something or old school politician from the 50s. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Made_French_Toast_For_You)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/33 "2013-04-06T16:19:00Z")
[This](http://www.salon.com/2013/04/05/kamala_harris_deserves_better/) Salon piece provides some context regarding Harris’ political history vis-a-vis her looks: > [@](#): > > I covered Harris’s first run for local District Attorney for San Francisco Magazine in 2003, and in a career spent writing about the barriers to women’s full participation in the political process, I’m not sure I ever faced the blatant gender stereotyping and disrespect I did in that race. Due to Harris’s earlier relationship with San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, the allies of District Attorney Terrence Hallinan felt free to smear her with charges she’d relied on her looks and effectively slept her way to the top. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/34 "2013-04-06T16:24:58Z")
> [@I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](#): > > Politics is still a man’s world. Women are still uniquely judged and acted upon based on their looks. Janet Reno. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/35 "2013-04-06T16:27:57Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Janet Reno. LOL yeh she is a ugly fug ROFLFMAO :rolleyes: So close and yet so very, very far. ---
**Author:** ![huck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@huck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/huck)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/36 "2013-04-06T16:48:29Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I don’t think it’s a huge deal, but it was a mistake, and Obama was right to apologize for it. I think [this](http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/why-obamas-best-looking-attorney-general-comment-was-a-gaffe/274701/) explains it best. I thought that article was rather more sexist, and quite a bit more offensive, than Obama’s remark. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/37 "2013-04-06T17:00:56Z")
I would call it a very minor miscalcualtion. I was a but surprised by his comment and was certain that a backlash was comming. But really no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/38 "2013-04-06T20:05:19Z")
If President Barney Frank (god how I wish) said the same thing about a male subordinate, I don’t think anybody would question the weirdness or creepiness of the situation. It was churlish and inappropriate. Definitely not [this bad](http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r41/patriotdaily/new%20blog%20pics/NION%20NEWS%20PICS/bush_merkel_backrub.jpg), but still not cool. Is this affair a tempest in a teapot? Yes. Is Obama still better on women’s issues than virtually everyone in the Republican part? Definitely. But if I can figure out that handing out compliments to my female subordinates on their physical appearance is inappropriate, the President sure as hell can. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/39 "2013-04-06T20:08:23Z")
Feminists just like to complain ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/40 "2013-04-06T20:09:26Z")
The answer to your question, and to most questions of that nature is “bitches be crazy”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990.md?page=3)