# What's so wrong in calling a woman good-looking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 6, 2013, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990 "2013-04-06T05:14:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/41 "2013-04-06T20:23:39Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I think [this](http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/why-obamas-best-looking-attorney-general-comment-was-a-gaffe/274701/) explains it best. It might have made a better explanation if it didn’t have links to video of topless feminists on the side. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/42 "2013-04-06T20:29:59Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > But if I can figure out that handing out compliments to my female subordinates on their physical appearance is inappropriate, the President sure as hell can. Again, not a subordinate. She’s AG for the state of CA. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/43 "2013-04-06T20:32:09Z")
Obama was just lucky that he didn’t refer to her as “ole sugar tits”. That or that she was “fuckworthy”, which as I understand it from the BBQ pit, has nothing, nothing I says, to do with either the word fuck or worthy. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/44 "2013-04-06T20:38:08Z")
OK, so it wasn’t like he grabbed her crotch, but it was still inappropriate. We’ve probably got some stragglers, but I think we’ve probably got about 2 standard deviations now nestled comfortably under that summary. How about some gaffe mashups? 'I’d like to introduce my long time friend and binder of women . . . uniter, I mean uniter of women. ‘A woman who once bound me such that I couldn’t even twitch an ass cheek’ ‘A woman who is bound to serve. Who will be bound again and again. Until everyone has been served.’ [someone let me know when they’ve got the tar and feathers ready] ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/45 "2013-04-06T20:43:19Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > The answer to your question, and to most questions of that nature is “bitches be crazy”. If you’re not careful with that wit, you’re gonna put Jeff Dunham out of a job. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/46 "2013-04-06T20:49:56Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > It is weird, and I’m not getting why people think this is a “PC” thing. All you have to ask yourself is if the president would have said anything about her looks if she were a dude. Nope, he wouldn’t have. Even if they were best friends. Because it would be weird if he had. > > I would have found it strange if folks had given the president a pass on this. This. It’s not complicated. Why would you EVER mention a womans looks outside of a sexual context? ---
**Author:** ![romadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@romadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romadea)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/47 "2013-04-06T20:50:12Z")
This is exactly why no one remotely sane wants to be a politician. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/48 "2013-04-06T20:51:47Z")
It has nothing to do with being a politician, a McDonalds manager saying it about his best burger flipper would be just as wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/49 "2013-04-06T20:57:21Z")
C’mon, it’s not like he called somebody a jackass when the cameras were rolling… ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/50 "2013-04-06T20:58:05Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > It has nothing to do with being a politician, a McDonalds manager saying it about his best burger flipper would be just as wrong. Again, Kamala Harris doesn’t work for President Obama. She’s an employee of the State of CA. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/51 "2013-04-06T21:01:45Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Again, Kamala Harris doesn’t work for President Obama. She’s an employee of the State of CA. Which means she is not his wife so her attractiveness has absolutely jack shit to do with anything so there isn’t one single appropriate reason to ever comment on it. What does her working for him have to do with anything? ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/52 "2013-04-06T21:25:11Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Which means she is not his wife so her attractiveness has absolutely jack shit to do with anything so there isn’t one single appropriate reason to ever comment on it. I disagree that its never appropriate to call a non-spouse attractive. Do you really never tell a bride she looks beautiful in her wedding photos? Its not a good idea to mix professional praise with comments on a womans attractiveness, but I think its kinda silly to say you can never compliment someone on their looks unless your married to them. > [@](#): > > What does her working for him have to do with anything? It was your analogy. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/53 "2013-04-06T22:12:07Z")
I only said wife because Obama has one, not because that is the only person you should compliment. ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/54 "2013-04-06T22:25:00Z")
I think it’s critical to gauge just how high on the outrage-o-meter this scandal reached before the President issued his apology. The headline we woke up to was “President Apologizes for Remark”, not “Legions of Outraged Feminists Demand Apology”. So the extent of the initial PC backlash has to be determined before we can judge the merits of the anti-PC backlash backlash. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/55 "2013-04-06T22:28:40Z")
I would have more respect for Obama if he didn’t apologize. It wasn’t the smartest thing to say, but maybe he should just have the balls to say: “I meant no disrespect, and it was said partly in jest. People need to lighten up”. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/56 "2013-04-06T23:16:45Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Again, not a subordinate. She’s AG for the state of CA. My bad. So what? I wouldn’t say it about any woman in a professional context. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/57 "2013-04-06T23:29:27Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > It’s not complicated. Why would you EVER mention a womans looks outside of a sexual context? Because women often take great car with their appearance and on occasion want to be appreciated for it? I’ve heard some women complain in fact about how irritating it is to go out of their way to look good, and have everyone too afraid of being “offensive” to comment on it. And people going out of their way to desexualize women, and _only_ women is just as sexist as the opposite. It’s also a cave-in to the old Christian patriarchal idea that female sexuality is _bad._ It’s fascinating sometimes to see how many ways feminism turned into a duplicate of its ancient enemy, just with different rationalizations. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/58 "2013-04-06T23:37:09Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Because women often take great car with their appearance and on occasion want to be appreciated for it? I’ve heard some women complain in fact about how irritating it is to go out of their way to look good, and have everyone too afraid of being “offensive” to comment on it. > > And people going out of their way to desexualize women, and _only_ women is just as sexist as the opposite. It’s also a cave-in to the old Christian patriarchal idea that female sexuality is _bad._ It’s fascinating sometimes to see how many ways feminism turned into a duplicate of its ancient enemy, just with different rationalizations. have you ever actually even met a woman ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2013, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/59 "2013-04-06T23:46:00Z")
> [@colander](#): > > have you ever actually even met a woman No, I was extruded out of a pod in an automated lab, where I’ve lived ever since. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990/60 "2013-04-07T00:45:25Z")
Context, people. Complimenting my looks on a date? Thank you! Compliment my looks when giving me an Oscar? Sure. Complimenting my looks at the office? Getting a little iffy, but maybe if we are friends. Complimenting my looks to a friend in a private context? Not a big deal, may be obnoxious if you make it a habit of picking apart every woman you interact with. Complimenting my looks at a widely publicized professional event? Inappropriate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-so-wrong-in-calling-a-woman-good-looking/654990.md?page=4)