# What's some of the lamest things you've ever seen? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003 "2007-05-29T23:40:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/1 "2007-05-29T23:40:18Z")
I’m defining “lame” to mean something that is blatantly uncool and ridiculous, in a way that can be almost universally recognized. Perhaps my example says it best: A not-very-old Ford Mustang . . . being used to deliver pizzas, complete with plastic sign on top. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/2 "2007-05-29T23:42:06Z")
And I just realized it should be “What _are_ …” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2007, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/3 "2007-05-29T23:52:02Z")
7th graders “hooking up” with new boyfriends/girlfriends. Most are innocent and clueless, having no idea what they are doing. Cute, but lame. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/4 "2007-05-30T00:00:51Z")
The television show “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?” sets off my lame-o-meter. I watched a few minutes of it, had the uncomfortable realization that it is “Jeopardy!” for the marching morons, and was smart enough to change the channel. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Venom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Lady\_Venom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Venom)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/5 "2007-05-30T02:16:17Z")
That would be the old, Chrysler Lebaron Convertible down the street with the insanly huge, home made looking spoiler… driven by an old woman. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/6 "2007-05-30T02:44:34Z")
I saw a car with a “spoiler” made of 2x4s. I am assuming it was a joke (it was an old beat up car) and I thought it was hilarious. On the other hand, it would be lame in the extreme if it were supposed to actually be functional or cool. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/7 "2007-05-30T03:10:04Z")
I was once at a state fair, and walking through the midway I saw a guy playing that game where you throw baseballs at plates to win a prize. He must have had some Springsteen-style “glory days” in his past, because he was standing some distance back and throwing the baseballs as though from a pitcher’s mound…he wasn’t doing a full windup, but he was doing the whole pitcher pose…the side of his body towards the game, right hand with the ball, resting it in his left hand as though wearing a mitt, and pitching it from the stretch. He was throwing so hard that, although he didn’t break too many plates that I saw, he was denting the backdrop of the game. Kind of unnecessary to throw that hard…it’s pretty easy to break a plate with a baseball, even at the velocity I can throw at. He looked like a complete idiot who had never gotten over his HS baseball career. Sad. ---
**Author:** ![Intravenus\_De\_Milo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Intravenus\_De\_Milo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intravenus_De_Milo)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/8 "2007-05-30T04:19:43Z")
The college guy who walks around wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar popped, a backwards upside-down visor, cargo shorts, and flip flops. In Ithaca, New York. In the middle of _February_. Oh, and I forgot to mention that he doused himself in Axe right before he went out, indicating that either: a) he didn’t shower; b) he tried to, but his roommate and associated girlfriend were monopolizing the shower for “mutual” bathing/make-out time; or c) he really thinks it makes him unbearably attractive, just like in the commercials, thus indicating that he watches waaaay too much TV. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/9 "2007-05-30T04:48:34Z")
[QUOTE=Lizard] I’m defining “lame” to mean something that is blatantly uncool and ridiculous, in a way that can be almost universally recognized. Perhaps my example says it best: A not-very-old Ford Mustang . . . being used to deliver pizzas, complete with plastic sign on top. [/QUOTE] Why is that blatantly uncool and ridiculous? Mustangs aren’t _that_ expensive. Now if someone was delivering pizzas in a Bentley, that would be truly absurd. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/10 "2007-05-30T05:20:51Z")
OK you want lame, I got your lame right here. The year was 1985, I was working at a Jag dealership as a technician. Before I go on, I have to give you a car lesson. Jaguar starting building the [XJS](http://www.britishcarlinks.com/1985_Jaguar%20_XJS.jpg) in 1976 and continued to build it the mid 1990s. There were very few outward clues as to the changes between the years. All of the cars though the late 1980s were [powered by a V-12 engine](http://www.classiccarshop.co.uk/images/Jaguar%20XJS%20HE%20V12%20met%20red%20engine.jpg). However the early cars were mechanically pieces of shit.OK, so I get this car in for a repair. A 1976 XJS. The shittyist of the shittyist. Now this car is worth maybe a couple of grand, but to the casual observer, it looks almost identical to the 45K one we have on the showroom floor. I get into this piece of shit, and the first thing I notice is the stereo. It is a cheap (($30ish) AM/FM cassette unit. The car owner has taken some hand rubbed letters and labeled it **Blaupunketet** not blaupunkt, but blaupunketet. :dubious: Actually let me give you the gist of it. It was hand rubbed lettering so it came out **B[sup]l[/sup][sub]a[/sub]u[sup]p[/sup][sub]u[/sub]n[sup]k[/sup][sub]e[/sub]t[sup]e[/sup][sub]t[/sub]** Next is the car phone. Now this is 1985 where a car phone is a BIG DEAL. This ahole has mounted a $10 buy it from your local Right-Aid drug store home phone on his center console. I cannot perceive just how dumb a person would have to be to be impressed by this. We were convinced he must have been dating houseplants. ---
**Author:** ![Intravenus\_De\_Milo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Intravenus\_De\_Milo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intravenus_De_Milo)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/11 "2007-05-30T05:41:18Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] OK you want lame, I got your lame right here. [/QUOTE] Wow, times really are changing. Everyone today knows that Bowze amps are the new hottness 😃 I guess those sleazy guys like in the “Fake Mini” ads (“You put some stripes on roof, no one can tell difference!”) really do exist. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/12 "2007-05-30T05:46:26Z")
[QUOTE=Rigamarole] Why is that blatantly uncool and ridiculous? Mustangs aren’t _that_ expensive. Now if someone was delivering pizzas in a Bentley, that would be truly absurd. [/QUOTE] Hmmmmmmmm… If someone were delivering pizzas in a Bentley, I’m not sure I’d think that was lame. I’d be very curious as to why. It would be more of a “rrrUUUhhhUUH” (scooby doo) moment than truly lame…imho. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/13 "2007-05-30T07:10:37Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] Jaguar starting building the [XJS](http://www.britishcarlinks.com/1985_Jaguar%20_XJS.jpg) in 1976 and continued to build it the mid 1990s. [/QUOTE] Those wheels on that Jag are one of the lamest things I’ve ever seen. I think those huge-diameter, overly-shiny “bling” wheels are one of the most evil ways that someone can mutilate a car. I can’t even begin to get inside the head of the kind of person that would put those on his ride and think they looked cool. The shittier the car, the lamer they look. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/14 "2007-05-30T07:11:21Z")
There’s a guy downtown who dresses as Darth Vader while he slays the shit out of a violin for the tourists. He doesn’t actually play anything coherent, he just works the bow like a four-year old on a triple espresso. Pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/15 "2007-05-30T07:36:54Z")
[QUOTE=Shamozzle] There’s a guy downtown who dresses as Darth Vader while he slays the shit out of a violin for the tourists. He doesn’t actually play anything coherent, he just works the bow like a four-year old on a triple espresso. Pathetic. [/QUOTE] I’m sure he finds your lack of faith disturbing. I knew a guy who bragged about how he got all the chicks by pretending to be rich and wearing a suit to bars where other guys just wore a t-shirt and jeans. Not just any suit, either, it was one that he repeatedly bragged cost him $5,000 (he is unemployed). He also had to add an expensive watch to the deal, I forget what he claims to have paid for it. One day, he emailed me a photo of him ready for a night on the town. His hair was all slicked back and the suit he was wearing looked like it had been decomposing on a hanger at Goodwill for the last 40 years. It was WAY out of style, and not even in good condition. The proud look on his face was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/16 "2007-05-30T07:39:41Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] Hmmmmmmmm… If someone were delivering pizzas in a Bentley, I’m not sure I’d think that was lame. I’d be very curious as to why. It would be more of a “rrrUUUhhhUUH” (scooby doo) moment than truly lame…imho. 🙂 [/QUOTE] If it actually happened, it would surely be a cover gig for a big-time narcotics/prostitution racket. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/17 "2007-05-30T09:32:03Z")
[QUOTE=Charger] I knew a guy who bragged about how he got all the chicks by pretending to be rich and wearing a suit to bars where other guys just wore a t-shirt and jeans. Not just any suit, either, it was one that he repeatedly bragged cost him $5,000 (he is unemployed). He also had to add an expensive watch to the deal, I forget what he claims to have paid for it. One day, he emailed me a photo of him ready for a night on the town. His hair was all slicked back and the suit he was wearing looked like it had been decomposing on a hanger at Goodwill for the last 40 years. It was WAY out of style, and not even in good condition. The proud look on his face was hilarious. [/QUOTE] Do you still have the picture? ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/18 "2007-05-30T12:58:30Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] Do you still have the picture? [/QUOTE] After some digging around, I found it! My memory may have exaggerated it’s condition, but not the style of the suit, which certainly doesn’t look like a $5,000 suit. And the “Look out, ladies, here I come” expression gets me every time. [![](https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v389/DaleTheBold/suitpic.jpg) ](https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v389/DaleTheBold/suitpic.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/19 "2007-05-30T13:09:46Z")
[QUOTE=Charger] After some digging around, I found it! My memory may have exaggerated it’s condition, but not the style of the suit, which certainly doesn’t look like a $5,000 suit. And the “Look out, ladies, here I come” expression gets me every time. [![](https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v389/DaleTheBold/suitpic.jpg) ](https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v389/DaleTheBold/suitpic.jpg) [/QUOTE] That gentleman is not very attractive. I wonder if he ever had any success with the fairer sex. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2007, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/20 "2007-05-30T13:15:30Z")
[QUOTE=Intravenus De Milo] The college guy who walks around wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar popped, a backwards upside-down visor, cargo shorts, and flip flops. In Ithaca, New York. In the middle of _February_. Oh, and I forgot to mention that he doused himself in Axe right before he went out, indicating that either: a) he didn’t shower; b) he tried to, but his roommate and associated girlfriend were monopolizing the shower for “mutual” bathing/make-out time; or c) he really thinks it makes him unbearably attractive, just like in the commercials, thus indicating that he watches waaaay too much TV. [/QUOTE] Reminds me of (NSFW link broken). (NSFW). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003.md?page=2)