# What's some of the lamest things you've ever seen? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003 "2007-05-29T23:40:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/62 "2007-05-31T04:48:16Z")
My husband rode me to school last week on the bike. I got stopped about 6 times by idiots trying to hit on me (lame enough) before I could finally hit the bathroom, get into class, and sort out my laptop. Some dude spies my helmet next to me and decides to get friendly: “I don’t want you to think I’m hitting on your or anything (my :rolleyes: meter goes off the charts), but I think chicks that drive\* motorcycles are totally hot!” “Actually, I rode on back.” It’s great. Every time they get hit with that realization, it’s comic. I think I need to hire a guy to follow me around with a slide flute for these moments. The stuff I see when I’m actually up front is even lamer. Guys driving busted-up four-banger wannabe racecars trying to race all the time - you know the type, they’re the epitome of lame, usually with spinner rims on their faded red 1992 Honda Civic. I usually rev my engine a bunch, then watch them lay down rubber as I cruise off the line at a whopping 25mph. \*verbatim ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/63 "2007-05-31T04:53:40Z")
I can’t name any names or places here, but bear with me. There is a radio show that has been going on for a very long time. You’ve most likely never heard of it. It is hosted by a woman who is the embodiment of everyone’s most embarrassing-but-oblvious mom. Only this one has an ego to match. On this show, she brings students from local schools to talk about issues that she thinks are important. The problem is, the students she brings on are there as punishment. They are failing so badly in their classes that if they don’t show up, they don’t get the credit that would put them at 51% for the term. Consequently, they are the least-informed, least-interested, least-interesting, most vocabulary-challenged bunch of kids you could find. They often don’t know each other, and have no idea what the topic will be until they get there, and then they have to talk about it. That makes for stimulating listening, I gotta tell ya. Most of the show consists of this woman, who is poorly-spoken and partially-informed, attempting to steer these hapless kids into expounding on why they agree with her virtual monopoly on the airtime. She thinks she’s famous. She acts like it, too. She is lame. Her show is lame. The name of the show is ridiculously lame. The premise is lame. The guests are lame, and the audience, or lack thereof, knows it. Everybody knows it but this woman. That is so lame. Still, somebody allows it to continue eating up airtime that could have something interesting in it. Like the radio equivalent of the test pattern. And that’s what’s _really_ lame. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/64 "2007-05-31T05:03:47Z")
[QUOTE=Queen Bruin] “I don’t want you to think I’m hitting on your or anything (my :rolleyes: meter goes off the charts), but I think chicks that drive\* motorcycles are totally hot!” [/QUOTE] On this note: people who say “drive motorcycles” are lame. You freaking _ride_ a motorcycle. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/65 "2007-05-31T05:07:26Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] On this note: people who say “drive motorcycles” are lame. You freaking _ride_ a motorcycle. [/QUOTE] I heard a wise man once say, “You ride a motorcycle, but drive a Harley.” Corollary: all the red Ducati monster driving people in my neck of the woods are lame. They’re the new Rebel Fashion Accessory for middle-class guys with sagging guts and a midlife crisis. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/66 "2007-05-31T05:10:52Z")
Two preppy white girls are walking through the mall with an older woman. The girls are engaged in a gripping conversation about “bitches” in the best Compton/South Central accent they can manage, approaching a Starbucks when one suddenly sticks her hand in the other one’s face, saying “hey yo, hey yo, hold the fuck up.” She then turns to the older woman, and in her sweetest big eyed white girl “aren’t I so adorable” voice innocently asks “grandma, can I please have five dollars for a Frappuccino?” That was pretty lame. Another pretty lame story came from when I was a kid working at a video rental store. The assistant manager was something like 40, also painfully white, reciting Dr. Dre lyrics to a poor woman who had the misfortune of asking him to elaborate when he told her he was a musician. Oh Jesus, my freakin’ teeth hurt to think about that one. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/67 "2007-05-31T05:46:27Z")
[QUOTE=Scumpup] That gentleman is not very attractive. I wonder if he ever had any success with the fairer sex. [/QUOTE] Yeesh. Reminds me of my ex-husband. I think that guy would look alright if he didn’t look like a dick in a lame suit. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/68 "2007-05-31T06:01:03Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] A wood spoiler? And I thought the guys who’d lash a 2x8 board to the back of their truck with baling wire to replace the bumper were goobers. [/QUOTE] You mean [like this?](http://gallery.opalcat.com/gallery/Easter2007/dodge?full=1) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/69 "2007-05-31T06:25:03Z")
[QUOTE=Queen Bruin] I heard a wise man once say, “You ride a motorcycle, but drive a Harley.” Corollary: all the red Ducati monster \*\*driving \*\*people in my neck of the woods are lame. They’re the new Rebel Fashion Accessory for middle-class guys with sagging guts and a midlife crisis. [/QUOTE] This is like Gaudere’s law. Only worse. Far worse. Draw and quarter me. I think I win the thread by being the lamest thing in it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/70 "2007-05-31T08:11:11Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] Those wheels on that Jag are one of the lamest things I’ve ever seen. I think those huge-diameter, overly-shiny “bling” wheels are one of the most evil ways that someone can mutilate a car. I can’t even begin to get inside the head of the kind of person that would put those on his ride and think they looked cool. The shittier the car, the lamer they look. [/QUOTE] Ugh. Look what I found on eBay. A [1972 International Harvester Travelall](http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/1972-International-Travelall-20-inch-rims_W0QQitemZ120126691884QQihZ002QQcategoryZ31846QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) with 20 inch bling rims. In fact, the link to the auction reads: “1972 International Travelall 20 inch rims.” As if someone looking for a Travelall - a classic piece of American auto history, much sought after by International enthusiasts - would be _happy_ that those rims are on it. It seriously breaks my heart. I’m praying that whoever buys that thing will take those hideous wheels off. It’s likely - International drivers and poser gangsters are not two demographics that often mix. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/71 "2007-05-31T12:24:52Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] The topper was the license plate frame, which read, “Thunder makes the noise, but lightning does the work.” I don’t even know what that means. What work does lightning do, relative to thunder? How long has it been since lightning held down a steady job? Frankly, I think lightning’s a bit of a slacker. [/QUOTE] 😛 It’s a [country song](http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/brock-chad/lightning-does-the-work-2859.html): I’ve heard thunder talkin’ up a storm Rattlin’ my windows and knockin’ on my door But I’ve seen lightnin’ blow a cypress tree in half The thunder’s busy talkin’, and lightnin’s kickin’ It ain’t the smoke, it’s the fire that gets the burnin’ done If it wasn’t for the bullet, nobody’d fear the gun It ain’t the bark, it ain’t the growl, it’s the bite that hurts Thunder’s just a noise, boys, lightnin’ does the work aka, a real cowboy gets it done without all this blathering. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/72 "2007-05-31T12:42:33Z")
When I lived in Florida, many people of a working-class exurban and rural Confederate cultural orientation, whose skin in the area between their heads and shoulders reflect light in the in the wavelength range of about 625 to 750 nanometers, would have large stickers bearing what they thought were witty short phrases mounted across the top of the front window of their trucks. Seen on a jacked-up Ford F-350 crew cab pickup with duallies: **I AIN’T COMPENSATIN’!** Another favorite was on the back of a Nissan Sentra seen in a barrio-like neighborhood in Denver. Stretched across the back window, in a large Old English typeface, was the word “CAR”. Can’t forget the powder blue Dodge Aries sedan with spinning rims I saw in Las Cruces, New Mexico a few years ago. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/73 "2007-05-31T12:49:00Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] Can’t forget the powder blue Dodge Aries sedan with spinning rims I saw in Las Cruces, New Mexico a few years ago. [/QUOTE] I’m thinking about getting those for my 1998 Civic sedan. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/74 "2007-05-31T15:51:48Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] Every Scion Xb I’ve ever seen in public, being driven by a mid-fifties, terminally unhip aunt-ish woman. Seriously, that car is _catnip_ to the absolute last demographic that Scion wants it to be embraced by, which cracks me up. [/QUOTE] Reminds me of the Honda element. The marketers expected it to appeal to the young hipsters. Apparently, they’re making an unexpected number of sales to the empty-nesters. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/75 "2007-05-31T16:13:01Z")
The Thing > **[Volkswagen Type 181](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volkswagen_Thing)** > > The Volkswagen Type 181 is a two-wheel drive, four-door, convertible, manufactured and marketed by Volkswagen from 1968 until 1983. Originally developed for the West German Army, the Type 181 also entered the civilian market as the Kurierwagen (“courier car”) in West Germany, the Trekker (RHD Type 182) in the United Kingdom, the Thing in the United States (1973–74), the Safari in Mexico and South America, and Pescaccia in Italy. Civilian sales ended after model year 1980. > Manufactured in Wolfsb... ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/76 "2007-05-31T16:30:25Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] 😛 It’s a [country song](http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/brock-chad/lightning-does-the-work-2859.html) [/QUOTE] Inevitable [YouTube link](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8GZAYDX1tc). ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/77 "2007-05-31T16:32:18Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] Stretched across the back window, in a large Old English typeface, was the word “CAR”. [/QUOTE] That’s actually kind-of funny, I think. The lamest think I’ve seen lately happened while driving into work the other day. The car behind me was inches from my bumper, swerving onto the shoulder on our right & occasionally into the opposite-direction lane on our left. Over the course of about 15 minutes he passed me and several other people in no-passing zones, always getting 1 car length ahead at a time, diving in and out of traffic. Well, soon enough he’d got out of sight & the commute proceeded without further excitement. A half hour and 20 miles later I pull up to a stop light & who should be sitting right next to me? I pointed and laughed until the light changed - he drove straight & I turned left. I’m not sure if he got the joke. Silly boy 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/78 "2007-05-31T18:07:22Z")
There’s a guy around the corner who drives a Honda Accord. He’s replaced the original chrome badges with ones that say **Jeep** and **4 X 4**. He was two characters away from a cool pun. If the badge had said 4X4X8, that’s the correct dimensions for Accord (a cord) of firewood. 😉 He has recently added a bumper sticker. “You wouldn’t understand, it’s a Jeep thing.” A few blocks from here, there’s a new, very expensive neighborhood. There might be a house or two under a million, but I doubt it. None of the houses have mailboxes out front. There’s a big bank of stainless steel locked mailboxes down the street, and that’s where everybody’x mail goes. You pay a million bucks for a house, and you have to walk a half mile to get your mail! You Dopers in SoCal may not understand, but $1M gets you a mighty fancy home here. You might have to substitute $3M to get the drift of the story. 😃 (I don’t mean any offense.) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/79 "2007-05-31T18:23:26Z")
Hey **AskNott** , nice sig! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/80 "2007-05-31T18:53:18Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] Hey **AskNott** , nice sig! 🙂 [/QUOTE] Thanks, doll! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003/81 "2007-05-31T19:03:45Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] Seen on a jacked-up Ford F-350 crew cab pickup with duallies: I AIN’T COMPENSATIN’! Another favorite was on the back of a Nissan Sentra seen in a barrio-like neighborhood in Denver. Stretched across the back window, in a large Old English typeface, was the word “CAR”. [/QUOTE] I dunno. I think both of these are rather amusing. The first requires at least some minimal ability on the part of the 350 owner to make fun of himself (because, honestly, if he was _completely_ serious, and didn’t want anyone to even think that he was compensatin’ would he really put that on his truck?). The second just appeals to my sense of generic minimalism. Because if you’re gonna put a big-ass decoration on something, why not stick “car” on your car and iron-on “shirt” on your shirt and name your yacht “Boat”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-some-of-the-lamest-things-youve-ever-seen/406003.md?page=5)