# What's something that people claim happens a lot, but you have rarely, or never, witnessed it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 13, 2022, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965 "2022-03-13T00:27:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2022, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/101 "2022-03-13T22:41:04Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Another thing I have really not witnessed: Middle-aged or older men leaving their wives for younger women. Oh, sure, I’ve known men who got divorced, or were widowed, and happened to marry someone younger, or a woman who married an older man, but that wasn’t WHY they got married. I’ve known at least half a dozen. That’s including one guy twice. 😬 ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2022, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/102 "2022-03-13T22:41:21Z")
Many women I know report that they have been told by a man to smile. I’ve never seen that, or anything like it. I guess they don’t do it in front of witnesses? I’ve heard it too many times to dispute that it happens. But it seems like a silly thing to say, and I truly can’t imagine what sort of satisfaction a man gets out of it. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2022, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/103 "2022-03-13T22:43:59Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > But it seems like a silly thing to say, and I truly can’t imagine what sort of satisfaction a man gets out of it. I don’t know either. But they keep on saying it and saying it. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2022, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/104 "2022-03-13T23:05:59Z")
I’m a guy and I’ve heard it within earshot of me at least a few dozen times. Of course, that averages out to once or twice a year, but if I hear it, I can only imagine how many times a woman must hear it. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2022, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/105 "2022-03-13T23:31:29Z")
I have a serious male case of “Resting Bitch Face” so a few times a month I’ll have random women tell me to “smile more”, so I’m guessing this is one of those things that happens to both sexes. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/106 "2022-03-14T00:00:13Z")
I’m guessing it happens much less often to men. More often that face is perceived as “a serious” or “strong” man not to messed with vs a woman that is a “bitch”. Women are simply also more often judged more by their appearance than men are, including by each other, their mothers, and themselves. I’d also WAG that there can be both power and flirtatious components to the comment. One would never advise someone above you in a power dynamic who looks mildly angry or annoyed to smile; it can be a subtle display of power superiority. Or perhaps in your case these random women are trying to flirt with you? ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/107 "2022-03-14T00:06:21Z")
Rabbits having sex. Supposedly happens a lot. I’ve never seen it. 🐇 ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/108 "2022-03-14T00:13:25Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > Many women I know report that they have been told by a man to smile. I’ve never seen that, or anything like it. I guess they don’t do it in front of witnesses? > > I’ve heard it too many times to dispute that it happens. But it seems like a silly thing to say, and I truly can’t imagine what sort of satisfaction a man gets out of it. While it’s mostly men who do it, some women do it too. They’re saying it directly to the person they want to smile, and it’s generally one sentence, so I doubt most other people would notice, even if they happen to be within hearing. I think a few people are genuinely trying to cheer you up, though in a useless and annoying fashion. Other people who do it appear to think that women, in particular, should have a friendly-appearing face on at all times, especially when it’s looking (intentionally or not) in their direction. And some people seem to think that all receptionists, clerks, servers, etc. should be smiling whenever the customers can see them. @Asuka, is that the sort of context in which random women are telling you to smile? I do think a lot of it’s dominance-related. Human smiles can mean a lot of different things, from being genuinely glad to see somebody to thinking something’s funny; but one of the common things they mean is polite submission. (Interestingly, there are also aggressive smiles.) ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/109 "2022-03-14T02:02:50Z")
What I don’t get about those complaining about people buying steak with “food stamps” is what do they think happens to the price of the steak? It’s not magically gone. The money is still coming to the store and means that the person using assistance is lowering the amount of money available to buy other things. Of course, there’s also the issue mentioned above, that steak is nutritious, so perhaps working on a better type of assistance plan would be in the legislature’s best interest, a plan that includes something like Weight Watchers “cheat day”. Next, I’ve personall witnessed racial discrimination in the workplace a few times. The first time was when two Black soldiers were complaining about a “foreigner being in the Army”, said “foreigner” who happened to be a natural born US citizen from Guam. When I made a comment to them about their bigotry, they told me that I’m the prejudiced one (being white and taking them to task for bigotry) because they are Black and cannot be prejudiced. Looking back on the incident, I think it’s more that they were just flat out ignorant of anything beyond their sphere. Next was when I was approaching the end of my contract for a private English academy in Guangdong and I had arranged for a friend to interview as my replacement. A number of students’ parents called in to complain to the boss that if she hired my friend, a Black guy who was eminently qualified (more so than I was) for the job, they’d pull their kids from the school. I don’t think anyones mentioned this, but during the former guy’s disgraceful so-called administration, I heard this canard resurrected a number of times: people spitting on soldiers returning from Vietnam. AFAIK, that’s never ever happened. Oh, yeah; and there’s one of my favorite “military myths”: “You can be disciplined for ‘damage to government property’ if you injure yourself, including by getting sunburn”. Nope, not true. Service members are not the property of the government. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/110 "2022-03-14T02:07:30Z")
Food stamps: heartfelt charity to the poor people, many if not most concentrated in urban areas; or subsidized income to agricultural areas in less-populated yet heavily weighted electoral districts? ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/111 "2022-03-14T02:22:10Z")
I basically never see kids being allowed to run amok and scream in public places while their parents make no effort to control them. People complain about that, sometimes on this board, all the time. I certainly see children behaving badly, but AFAICT \>99% of parents respond appropriately. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/112 "2022-03-14T02:46:35Z")
It’s happened to me a few times, but more times, that came from women than it did from men, and never AFAIR from a stranger. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/113 "2022-03-14T02:49:18Z")
ITA. Like I’ve also said before, I rarely see really truly horribly behaved children out in public, and when I do, \>99% of the time, the parents (or other supervising adult(s) ) are acting worse than the kids. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/114 "2022-03-14T02:51:00Z")
Not so much food stamps, as WIC, which is for low- and moderate-income families with pregnant women and/or children under 5. Only certain brands are permissible under WIC, and I’ve definitely gone into grocery stores in low-income areas and it was really obvious what the WIC brands were, because the shelves were full of those brands of juice, cereal, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/115 "2022-03-14T03:00:34Z")
Catcalling of women. Note that I’m a man, so of course I am not likely to be in the vicinity when it happens. Nevertheless, I have lived in a great many cities and regions in America and never seen it once. I have never seen it abroad either. I would have figured that by this point I would have seen it at least once. I’m not saying women are lying when they claim it happens often, of course. I’m just saying I’ve never seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/116 "2022-03-14T03:16:17Z")
People “not being allowed to say” some thing anymore. Yes, I’m aware that there have been some high profile people who have lost opportunities because they expressed opinions contrary to some sponsor or prospective employer (and some people have certainly been fired for racist or bigoted behavior), but - to my knowledge - people in the United States can still say whatever they want. (This being contrary to my cousin’s exasperated assertion that “you can’t say Washington Redskins anymore because it offends people ”) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/117 "2022-03-14T04:50:05Z")
> [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > Ball lightning. There are enough reports that I wouldn’t classify this with UFO’s, - although I don’t know the latest research into this. I saw it once when I was a kid, sitting in the kitchen with my mom and aunt. It entered from one wall, crossed the kitchen and disappeared behind the refrigerator. Scared the bejesus out of us. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/118 "2022-03-14T05:00:06Z")
Back in the early 90’s there was a major construction project near my work, and yes, the men did wolf whistles, etc toward attractive women. And I have heard some comments, on many saying to another “That is a solid 9!”, that sort of stuff. It was _meant_ to be complimentary, and some of the women loved it, went out of their way… but others hated it. But that was three decades ago, and while inappropriate , I have not heard it recently. Even then, it wasn’t actual sexual harassing comments, just more or less wolf whistles. I am not saying that it was right, clearly it wasn’t as some of the women really hated it. But the kind of things I saw on TV shows etc- nope. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/119 "2022-03-14T05:02:04Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I saw a UFO once. Bright ball of light, it was tracking my truck thru a forest. I saw that once too. It looked like it was travelling fast as it skimmed the trees. That’s where the illusion stems from, we imagine the bright light to be closer to us than it is, because it resembles a plane or helicopter, but it’s millions of miles away, and the perspective messes with our expectations. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965/120 "2022-03-14T05:07:11Z")
Cool though, isn’t it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-something-that-people-claim-happens-a-lot-but-you-have-rarely-or-never-witnessed-it/960965.md?page=7)