# what's the "anti-misogyny policy"? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [December 14, 2018, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085 "2018-12-14T00:31:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/261 "2018-12-17T20:09:25Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Everybody on this board knows what the code is… No they don’t, and there’s evidence in this very thread that refutes this assertion. Take, for example, the word “hot”. Some posters think it’s inappropriate to refer to women as "hot: > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > … ‘Hot’ is okay if youre talking about the weather. > [@Broomstick](#): > > … Probably not in most contexts. … > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > … people irritated at things like talking about the hotness of female politicians are genuinely irritated, not playing some sort of holier-than-thou game. and on the other hand, some posters think it is / should be just fine: > [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Yeah, that whole thread threw me and I came here to see if anyone else commented. > > God forbid a hot woman who makes a living showing off how hot she is is called hot by other people. That is misogyny. > > When someone commented on AOC being attractive people acted like that was out of bounds too. Really? We can’t comment on the looks of politicians (or models) anymore? > [@DrDeth](#): > > A celebrity is different. They get work on the basis of their appearance, they bank on it, they change it, and they choose to get into that game. I dont see anything wrong with saying _“Wow, on that episode of the Muppets, Raquel Welch was sure hot during her dance number!”._ > > That said, you still have to maintain some class and refrain from being a drool monster. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/262 "2018-12-17T20:13:22Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > If you will answer it, then there is no need for a follow up question. But if you use vague terms and weasel words, then there will be such a need. Then no. I will not yet again provide what you ask for, only to find out that what you really wanted is for people to give you what you want to hear. ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/263 "2018-12-17T20:13:57Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Anything to say about the cites you requested and I provided in post #245? After a quick skim, they don’t look like very good evidence of what you claimed, but I’m still reading them. I’ll get back to you with a longer post once I’m done reviewing them. ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/264 "2018-12-17T20:14:57Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Then no. I will not yet again provide what you ask for, only to find out that what you really wanted is for people to give you what you want to hear. “yet again”? You already did that somewhere? Which post? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/265 "2018-12-17T20:17:02Z")
> [@HurricaneDitka](#): > > After a quick skim, they don’t look like very good evidence of what you claimed, but I’m still reading them. I’ll get back to you with a longer post once I’m done reviewing them. While you are doing that, how about _one_ cite that backs up your opposing position? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/266 "2018-12-17T20:19:05Z")
> [@HurricaneDitka](#): > > “yet again”? You already did that somewhere? Which post? Uh uh-one hoop at a time. First, tell me what is wrong with those links you asked for and I provided. ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/267 "2018-12-17T20:20:14Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Uh uh-one hoop at a time. First, tell me what is wrong with those links you asked for and I provided. This post follows your “While you are doing that” request to me. Seems a tad hypocritical to expect me to do two things at once while you’re unwilling to. I’m not asking you to explain it again, just give me the post # where you explained it the first time (and a link to the thread if it was in a different thread). ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/268 "2018-12-17T20:24:18Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > That paraphrase of Justice Stewart’s concurrence has been used frequently. However, it was also criticized in many dissents and in many law review articles. > > It was a stupid fucking thing to say as a Supreme Court Justice and remains stupid today. Any fucking moron can decide that a particular bar, or movie, or magazine is too offensive for him. The law should not depend on Justice Stewart’s own personal moral values. > > The “we know it when we see it” is very funny and very apt at times, but it does not lead to anything meaningful in law or board policy. Everyone has their own moral code. This board can set its own moral code. I just want to know what that is. I will, just for kicks and grins: Note–all references to “you” are to “you in general”, not you specifically. "Normal people, growing up, are socialized to know societal norms. If you are not one of these people, either learn, and learn _fast_ or shut up. Either way. It is not the mission of the SDMB to try to teach you normal human interaction. If you can’t figure it out on your own, you’ll be warned and then banned. Addendum: The mods/admins are not your parents trying to teach you in kindergarten a “slut-whore” and she smacks you, you deserved it. Nor are they your high school teacher telling you that saying to a friend who’s mom had a mastectomy “Pics or it doesn’t count. :D” You should have figured this utterly basic social norms now. " See? Easy. ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/269 "2018-12-17T20:26:44Z")
So, **Fenris** , just for kicks and grins, could you tell us which side of the “hot” divide you come down on? Is calling a woman “hot” part of normal human interaction, and ought to be acceptable on this board, or should it be warnable and bannable? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/270 "2018-12-17T20:27:14Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > I will, just for kicks and grins: Note–all references to “you” are to “you in general”, not you specifically. > > "Normal people, growing up, are socialized to know societal norms. If you are not one of these people, either learn, and learn _fast_ or shut up. Either way. It is not the mission of the SDMB to try to teach you normal human interaction. If you can’t figure it out on your own, you’ll be warned and then banned. > > Addendum: The mods/admins are not your parents trying to teach you in kindergarten a “slut-whore” and she smacks you, you deserved it. Nor are they your high school teacher telling you that saying to a friend who’s mom had a mastectomy “Pics or it doesn’t count. :D” You should have figured this utterly basic social norms now. " > > See? Easy. Couldn’t have said it better myself. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/271 "2018-12-17T20:47:32Z")
> [@HurricaneDitka](#): > > So, **Fenris** , just for kicks and grins, could you tell us which side of the “hot” divide you come down on? Is calling a woman “hot” part of normal human interaction, and ought to be acceptable on this board, or should it be warnable and bannable? Do you believe there’s no middle ground between these options? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/272 "2018-12-17T20:49:10Z")
> [@HurricaneDitka](#): > > So, **Fenris** , just for kicks and grins, could you tell us which side of the “hot” divide you come down on? Is calling a woman “hot” part of normal human interaction, and ought to be acceptable on this board, or should it be warnable and bannable? There’s no “hot divide”. Your dancing is getting tiresome. ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/273 "2018-12-17T20:54:21Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Do you believe there’s no middle ground between these options? I believe that where Dopers appear to be significantly divided over the issue, posts along the line of “See? Easy” or ‘it should be obvious to every non-dense person’ are out of place and wrong. I further believe that the SDMB would benefit greatly from some clear guidance on what the mods deem acceptable or not in this space. As for the word “hot”, in the real world, I have no difficulty imagining circumstances where it would be acceptable, perhaps even welcome (e.g. a man, to a woman he is on a date with, or a female friend encouraging a friend that she is attractive), and circumstances where it would be inappropriate (said about a co-worker, or a teacher in a class, etc.). ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/274 "2018-12-17T20:55:31Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > There’s no “hot divide”. … Sure there is. I even provided cites in post #261. ---
**Author:** ![Modesty\_Blaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Modesty\_Blaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modesty_Blaise)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/275 "2018-12-17T21:02:27Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > I will, just for kicks and grins: Note–all references to “you” are to “you in general”, not you specifically. > > "Normal people, growing up, are socialized to know societal norms. If you are not one of these people, either learn, and learn _fast_ or shut up. Either way. It is not the mission of the SDMB to try to teach you normal human interaction. If you can’t figure it out on your own, you’ll be warned and then banned. > > Addendum: The mods/admins are not your parents trying to teach you in kindergarten a “slut-whore” and she smacks you, you deserved it. Nor are they your high school teacher telling you that saying to a friend who’s mom had a mastectomy “Pics or it doesn’t count. :D” You should have figured this utterly basic social norms now. " > > See? Easy. THIS. It’s just so tedious. This thread reminds me of jerkwads expecting you to educate them (usually with no sincerity) on feminism. Not your teacher. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/276 "2018-12-17T21:03:10Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Everybody on this board knows what the code is, except for a handful of [white] [straight] men who crawl out of the woodwork every single time sexism or racism or homophobia or other such slime is targeted for disapproval. The same names asking the same questions and getting the same answers. > > How many more times must we go through this charade before those slow learners get the message that it’s them, not the board, who need to change? Quoted for truth !!! If you really still don’t get it, you’ll just have to learn from experience, I guess. Watch and see how it’s moderated. Then you’ll know. It really couldn’t be easier, watch and learn. ---
**Author:** ![Ibn\_Warraq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/277 "2018-12-17T21:16:17Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > “ We all know hate speech when we see it. Except that’s not true. It’s been ruled already that it wasn’t hate speech or even racist to respond to the news of some Iraqi children accidentally being killed by some Iraqi Air Force pilots, “Why should we care? One band of primitive savages attacking another. WHo cares?” [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=733350&highlight=savages](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=733350&highlight=savages) This is just one of countless examples where people, including mods on this board, have disagreed on what is and isn’t hate speech. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/278 "2018-12-17T21:18:42Z")
> [@Modesty\_Blaise](#): > > THIS. > > It’s just so tedious. This thread reminds me of jerkwads expecting you to educate them (usually with no sincerity) on feminism. > > Not your teacher. It is tedious but for the opposite reason. It is so obvious, we are told, that any dumbass can see it, but we can’t get a rule on it because it is too complicated. Which is it? We are not arguing at the outer margins. Nobody does that. If a woman says that she just had a mastectomy and you ask to see a tit pic: out of bounds. We all understand that. We all had mothers. I’m confused as to why we can talk about how hot KellyAnne Conway is in the way that Michelle Obama is not, or how it is okay to say I would fuck Jennifer Aniston, but a simple comment on a spectators appearance at the Kavanaugh hearing is bad. My mother didn’t teach me that nuance. And if you respond that I had a shitty mother, is that misogyny? ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/279 "2018-12-17T21:19:47Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > … It really couldn’t be easier, watch and learn. I have watched, and what I’ve learned has been that there is some inconsistency here. Both “I wouldn’t kick her out of bed” and “she can cure ED” are fairly vivid ways of noting that a woman is physically attractive, with some sexual undertones. One resulted in moderator action and the other did not. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085/280 "2018-12-17T21:38:37Z")
How about this for a rule: If you’re not sure, just don’t say it. If you think something is offensive, report it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-anti-misogyny-policy/826085.md?page=15)