# What's the Best Kiss-Off Song? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 3, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092 "2004-04-03T19:16:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/1 "2004-04-03T19:16:18Z")
Teddy Pendergrass’ (or like my Dad calls him, Teddy Kissmyass-- at least he did until poor Teddy was paralized-- my Dad doesn’t like Teddy) I Don’t Love You Anymore is pretty straightforward “get outta my life” song. Blunt and to the point. Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad loses points because Meatloaf isn’t really telling his girl goodbye, he’s just explaining what his limitations. Green Day’s Good Riddance is the perfect kiss-off song. Pretty and subtle. If I were to be kissed off, I’d want it to be to this song. Any other nominations? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/2 "2004-04-03T19:35:22Z")
_Love of my Life_ by Cowboy Mouth is one of the best ones I’ve found. _How Do You Tell Someone You Don’t Love Them_ by them also works, so long as you add the requisite “FUCK YOU!” from the live shows at the end of each “How do you tell someone you don’t love them?” _Kiss Off_ by the Violent Femmes _I Hate You, Fuck You, Leave Me Alone_ by Reel Big Fish, if only for the chorus. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/3 "2004-04-03T19:54:09Z")
_Song for the Dumped_ by **Ben Folds Five**. Though it’s from the dumpee’s point of view rather than the dumper, it’s still a pretty good kiss-off. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/4 "2004-04-03T20:44:35Z")
I’ll second **GMRyujin** ’s “Kiss Off” and add Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/5 "2004-04-03T20:50:20Z")
**Lyin’ Ass Bitch** Fishbone **Your Dictionary** XTC ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/6 "2004-04-03T21:29:24Z")
> [@Lisa-go-Blind](#): > > Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.” 😃 In the same ‘I got my shit together, and I know I can do better’ vein: Bif Naked’s _I Love Myself Today_. ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/7 "2004-04-03T21:42:57Z")
Always been partial to Dylan’s _Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right_. “I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind. You coulda done better, but I don’t mind. You just kinda wasted my precious time. But don’t think twice, it’s all right.” ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/8 "2004-04-03T22:03:58Z")
…not to mention his “Positively 4th Street.” "I wish that for just one time You could stand inside my shoes And just for that one moment I could be you Yes, I wish that for just one time You could stand inside my shoes You’d know what a drag it is To see you" And the moral of the story is, Don’t Dump Dylan. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/9 "2004-04-03T22:07:09Z")
Far and away my favorite “Fuck you, beat it, I sure as hell don’t need a slut like you in my life” song: Martin Briley’s [_Salt in My Tears_](http://www.angelfire.com/ca2/mysteria7/Lyrics/tears.html) . ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/10 "2004-04-03T22:16:03Z")
Best EVER: Robbie Williams’ ‘Sexed Up.’ Why don’t we break up? There’s nothing left to say I’ve got my eyes shut Praying they won’t stray And when I’m sexed up That’s what makes the difference today I hope you blow away… Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/11 "2004-04-03T22:18:47Z")
Actually, I said Robbie’s was the best, but some of those others are funny too. I’d like to make a whole album of ‘break-up’ songs. ---
**Author:** ![BabaBooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/12 "2004-04-03T22:20:02Z")
Rehab: Sittin at the Bar ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/13 "2004-04-03T23:02:34Z")
In additon: Black Eyed Peas ‘Shut Up,’ and Kelis ‘I Hate You So Much Right Now’ and Eamon’s ‘Fuck it, I Don’t Want You Back.’ ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/14 "2004-04-03T23:54:49Z")
James Whale - **Wat Tyler** A version of the Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called To Say I Love You”… with a few of the words changed. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/15 "2004-04-04T01:43:39Z")
You can’t beat good old “Hit the Road, Jack.” I also like “You Oughta Know,” (if that’s what it’s called) by Alannis Morissette. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/16 "2004-04-04T02:14:41Z")
Three of mine were already mentioned, but I’ll second them. _You Oughta Know_, Alanis Morissette. Supposedly written to Dave Coulier, whom she dated for a time. _Shut Up_, The Black-Eyed Peas _Caught Out There_, Kelis, which **Sam** referred to as “I Hate You So Much Right Now”. I’ll add a couple others: _Oops_, Blu Cantrell – this one’s funny. Her man is cheating on her, so she goes on a spending spree with his money and throws out all of his stuff. _All Over Now_, Aimee Mann > [@Aimee Mann](#): > > I was one of few > Who’d stick up for you > And so you never knew > You were a punch line > > I could not convince or trust you > To pick up on my hints, must you > Leave your fingerprints > On everything I called mine > > Well that’s all over now _Ugly Girl_, Fleming & John > [@Fleming & John](#): > > Ha ha ha, the joke’s on me > I feel jealous and I feel mean > Is she so nice that it makes up for her face? There’s no way > Do you have to keep your eyes closed > Do you have to keep the lights down low > Oh I bet you wish you had a blindfold, Can’t you see > you’re leaving me for an ugly girl ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/17 "2004-04-04T02:25:32Z")
You can’t beat the Guess Who’s “No Time Left for You”. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/18 "2004-04-04T02:27:45Z")
Since **Ike** beat me to Positively 4th Street, I offer Johnny Cash’s “Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart”. From the backdoor of your life you swept me out dear In the bread line of your dreams I lost my place At the table of your love I got the brush off At the Indianapolis of your heart I lost the race I’ve been washed down the sink of your memory In the theater of your love I lost my part And now you say you’ve got me out of your conscience I’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart ---
**Author:** ![PastAllReason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f07891/32.png) [@PastAllReason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastAllReason)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/19 "2004-04-04T02:43:47Z")
How about an “oldie” Gordon Lightfoot’s [If You Could Read My Mind](http://gordonlightfoot.com/Lyrics/IfYouCouldReadMyMind.html): _But for now, love, let’s be real; I never thought I could feel this way And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it. I don’t know where we went wrong, But the feeling’s gone And I just can’t get it back._ ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092/20 "2004-04-04T02:46:07Z")
Weird Al Yankovic’s _One More Minute_. 😃 > [@](#): > > I guess I might seem kinda bitter > You got me feeling down in the dumps > 'Cause I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love > And I have to use the self-service pumps > > Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase > You ain’t gonna break my heart in two > 'Cause I’d rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face > Than spend one more minute with you [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-kiss-off-song/238092.md?page=2)