# What's the best term for doin' it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177 "2003-09-12T11:53:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/1 "2003-09-12T11:53:43Z")
What’s the most appropriate term to use for sexual intercourse if one does NOT want to sound clinical (intercourse, coitus), NOT vulgar (boning, logjamming), and NOT cheesy (makin’ sweet sweet love)? I know the most obvious answer is “having sex”, but are there any other options? ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/2 "2003-09-12T12:12:38Z")
Sleep together. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/3 "2003-09-12T12:14:42Z")
Sorry, all my ideas are vulgar. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/4 "2003-09-12T12:19:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ParentalAdvisory \* > \*\*Sleep together. \*\* That’s even worse than “having sex”, but thanks for offering a suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/5 "2003-09-12T12:23:59Z")
All ours are probably considered vulgar too. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/6 "2003-09-12T12:31:20Z")
Doin’ the deed. Lately, we’ve changed the phrase, “some nice, hot lovin’” to “some nice, hot muffins.” Cracks me up. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/7 "2003-09-12T13:35:34Z")
Well, we tend to go for “playtime” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/8 "2003-09-12T16:18:45Z")
We use _naptime_ when the kids are within earshot… vulgar terms when they’re not. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/9 "2003-09-12T16:41:15Z")
“Gimme some suga”… No? Well, yes… that had a dose of cheese, a dash of vulgar but it’s absolutely clinic-free! Why not say (example): “\_\_\_\_\_ are lovers” or “\_\_\_\_\_\_ are having relations” (kinda Southern) or my favorite… “\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ are intimate” Being “intimate” usually indicates having sex. Other than those few suggested by myself and other posters, you’re “SCREWED”! ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/10 "2003-09-12T16:43:59Z")
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wait! Here’s another: “\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ are romantically involved”. This isn’t very clear at times though, and may get you more questions that you’ll have to use some of the aforementioned alternatives. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/11 "2003-09-12T16:53:42Z")
So, “bumping nasties” is right out, then? ---
**Author:** ![Godfrey\_Daniels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Godfrey\_Daniels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Godfrey_Daniels)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/12 "2003-09-12T17:07:22Z")
“Being intimate” is the best one so far. Beats “rubbin’ uglies”… I heard someone refer to it as “playing blanket polo” once. ---
**Author:** ![dejahma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dejahma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dejahma)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/13 "2003-09-12T17:45:36Z")
boinking ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/14 "2003-09-12T17:51:57Z")
“Lay down with.” Sounds biblical. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/15 "2003-09-12T18:08:14Z")
**Aussie** : Playing cars and garages Playing hide the sausage Running the ferret **Chinese** : (my favorite) Making the beast with two backs ---
**Author:** ![toque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9e8a1a/32.png) [@toque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toque)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/16 "2003-09-12T19:06:04Z")
I didn’t know Shakespeare was ripping off the Chinese too… “Knockin’ Boots”? Dave Eggers addresses this issue in a really good essay called “Never Fucked Anyone” (IIRC), he ultimately proposes the biblical “to know”. ---
**Author:** ![dbygawdcapn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dbygawdcapn/32/3995_2.png) [@dbygawdcapn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dbygawdcapn)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/17 "2003-09-12T19:10:12Z")
Elvis has entered the building Elvis has left the building Elvis has entered the building ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/18 "2003-09-12T19:45:03Z")
Horizontal Dancing, is quite a nice term. But I allways prefer the cruder terms Bonking or F\*cking, they just seem so much more unpretentious. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/19 "2003-09-12T20:15:38Z")
Biblical would be to ‘know’ each other. I’ve been using ‘the sex’ as in: Can we have the sex tonight? This hasn’t been working so well so maybe I need something else. ---
**Author:** ![Wumpus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8c91f0/32.png) [@Wumpus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wumpus)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177/20 "2003-09-12T20:32:52Z")
For brash-but-not-offensive, I like “boffing.” (“How long have those two been boffing each other?”) It’s just a shade lower on the cheese-o-meter than “boinking.” My favorite nonsensical cicumloction, dating from the 1930s, is “the marital act” – as if no unmarried person would do it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-term-for-doin-it/201177.md?page=2)